Earning Back What's Been Lost
by Kate2008
Summary: COMPLETE: It's finally gotten to be too much for Blair so she told Chuck she was done; but Chuck can't do the same, not when he knows they belong together. He'll do whatever it takes to show her that he's the one for her. Formerly, What He Can't Have.
1. My Favorite Drug

**This first section is from Blair's viewpoint, the next will be from Chuck's. I don't have anything planned after that, so it might be a two shot unless people want me to keep writing but the original concept is just the after thoughts of everything.  
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**I'm sorry guys I know I've already got two going and adding a third is just going to make updates on the others a lot slower. But I felt the need to write a fic about the new ending or whatever it is to CB. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

**Special Thanks to LitPrincess2787 for the final corrections.**

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_Blair please._ She kept hearing his words in her head even after he had stopped speaking. She saw the look in his eyes, the one that said that he meant his apology, even after the elevator door closed. And what Blair Waldorf wanted more than anything was to chase after him, take care of him and be with him but she stopped herself because she couldn't go down that road, not anymore. Her next instinct was to collapse on the floor in tears but she couldn't let anyone see that. Instead she turned and walked upstairs to her bedroom calmly and smoothly. However as soon as the door was shut she allowed herself to fall apart.

_**Baby Baby  
When we first met, I never felt something so strong  
You were like my lover and my best friend  
All wrapped into one with a ribbon on it  
And all of a sudden you went and left  
I didn't know how to follow  
It's like a shock that spun me around  
And now my heart's dead  
I feel so empty and hollow**_

Blair let the sobs rack her body. When she told Chuck they were done, she hadn't even been able to look at him because she knew that if she had she wouldn't have been able to go through with it but she was done. She had to be. All Chuck ever did was make her miserable. She loved him and she told him that, she opened up her heart to him more than she ever had to anyone before but he just crushed it until there was nothing left. He had been the perfect combination of a boyfriend and a best friend, she could tell him anything and she promised him that she would see him through anything but he just ruined her, ruined her over and over again, until she couldn't bear it anymore.

_**And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to ya (to ya)  
Don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do ya (do ya)?  
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back  
And you are the one to blame  
And now I feel like - ooh!**_

She thought he could change. She thought that he was ready, was mature enough to have a relationship with her. Even if he wasn't ready, Blair at least thought that Chuck wouldn't hurt her again. But then he had and she couldn't move past it anymore. She didn't know how she was going to recover from it this time. It was too much.

_**You're the reason why I'm thinking  
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more  
I guess that's what i get for wishful thinking  
Should've never let you enter my door  
Next time you wanna go on and leave  
You should just go on and do it  
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed**_

Blair had been there for him for everything over the past month. She had given him everything he could possible need or want. But it took all her energy to do it. To take the awful things that he was saying to her without getting angry. To keep standing by him even though he was self destructing. She had done it though. She had let him use her to vent out all of his pain, but it was too hard now.

_**It's like I checked in to rehab  
And baby, you're my disease  
It's like I checked in to rehab  
And baby, you're my disease  
I've gotta check in to rehab  
'Cause baby you're my disease  
I've gotta check in to rehab  
'Cause baby you're my disease**_

Nothing would have kept her away before today; but Chuck had broken something inside her when he told her to quit playing the wife. The words radiated hatred and the part of her that was still holding on, still hoping just snapped, in two. It was the kind of snap that caused little pieces to fall to the ground, disappearing forever. It was the kind of snap that couldn't be repaired.

_**Damn, ain't it crazy when you're loveswept  
You'd do anything for the one you love  
Cause anytime that you needed me, I'd be there  
Its like you were my favorite drug  
The only problem was that you was using me  
In a different way than I was using you  
But now that I know that it's not meant to be  
You gotta go, I gotta wean myself off of you**_

Blair stood up and straightened her skirt. No more tears, not over Chuck. She had to remove him from her life completely. Take out every sign of him. She hadn't been able to do it after Tuscany. She hadn't been strong enough; but now she was. Or maybe it wasn't strength that she had been lacking, maybe it was motivation. Either way, she was determined now, there was nothing that could ever be done to change the fact that she and Chuck could never be and now she had learned that there was a part of herself that had to stay within her, that couldn't be given to someone else because when she gave it away, it hurt too damn much when it was thrown back.

_**And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to ya (to ya)  
Don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do ya?  
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back  
And you are the one to blame  
Cause now I feel like - ooh!**_

After making sure that she had control of her voice she picked up the phone and called Serena. "S, can you come over? I know you are going through a lot right now too but I really need help with something." While waiting on Serena, Blair started working. Detoxing the room. But removing everything that made her think of Chuck was going to be hard.

_**You're the reason why I'm thinking  
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more  
I guess that's what i get for wishful thinking  
Should've never let you enter my door  
Next time you wanna go on and leave  
I should just let you go on and do it  
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed**_

When Serena walked in Blair had a large box on the floor that was already partially full. Serena started rifling through its contents. She pulled out item after item of Blair's favorite things; the red dress she wore the night of Serena's parents' house warming, a picture of Blair and Chuck from back in their sophomore year, the dress Blair was wearing when she left for Tuscany, a pair of deep red tights, a few headbands Serena recalled Chuck giving Blair, the dress and headband Blair had worn to Serena's mother's wedding. As she was looking at all the contents Blair continued tossing things. The next item, Blair's cotillion dress.

_**It's like I checked in to rehab  
And baby, you're my disease  
It's like I checked in to rehab  
And baby, you're my disease  
I've gotta check in to rehab  
'Cause baby you're my disease  
I've gotta check in to rehab  
'Cause baby you're my disease **_

"Blair what are you doing?" Serena asked trying to get her attention. "These are all of the things that you've kept over the past few years all of your favorite mementos."

Blair turned her head as she threw a cream colored slip towards the box. "Detox, Serena. I am removing Chuck from my life."

Serena looked at the slip; it was the slip Blair had been wearing when she lost her virginity. "Blair whatever he did I'm sure that you guys will work it out, you always do."

_**You're the reason why I'm thinking  
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more  
I guess that's what i get for wishful thinking  
Should've never let you enter my door  
Next time you wanna go on and leave  
I should just let you go on and do it  
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed**_

"Not this time S. I can't do it anymore." Blair said feeling the tears starting to come back. At this she opened her jewelry drawer and pulled out the Erickson Beamon necklace Chuck had given her and dropped it into the box. "So please help me Serena, I need you. I can't do this alone." Blair said leaving her hand reached out after dropping the necklace.

Serena took Blair's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Tell me what needs to be done. We will get Chuck out of your life materially now, and work on getting him out of your system too."

_**It's like I checked in to rehab  
And baby, you're my disease  
It's like I checked in to rehab  
And baby, you're my disease  
I've gotta check in to rehab  
'Cause baby you're my disease  
I've gotta check in to rehab  
'Cause baby you're my disease**_

At the end of the day Blair's large box was completely full. "Do you think you could get rid of this stuff S? I'm not sure I can do it."

Serena looked at her best friend. Blair was putting up a strong front but Serena saw through it. Blair could completely fall apart at any minute. She might be cutting Chuck out of her life as best as she could. But he was like her favorite drug and it was going to be a long road towards really and truly being over him. "How about we do it together?" Serena said giving Blair a smile.

Blair nodded and the girls lifted the box together to head out and find some place symbolic to dump it.

**Spotted: B and S throwing a box full of expensive looking items into the river. Don't you know better girls, you should be recycling. **

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**A/N: I know short chapter, but I have a lot of homework and wanted to post what I had written so far.**

**Song: Rehab by Rhianna **

** Reviews are always appreciated. **


	2. Alone

**This is the second section, from Chuck's viewpoint. I think my chapters for this one are going to be a whole lot shorter than my normal ones but I am going to try to update frequently.**

**I'm sorry guys I know I've already got two going and adding a third is just going to make updates on the others a lot slower. But I felt the need to write a fic about the new ending or whatever it is to CB. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

**Thanks to LitPrincess2787 for the Beta on this chappy!  
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Chuck slumped against the back of the elevator, allowing himself to slide downward. Halfway down he slammed his hand on the emergency stop button; no one could see him like this, he was Chuck Bass. He looked down at the flowers next to him aware that they were very similar to that bouquet that he was bringing Blair before they went to Tuscany. When she had thrown them down at his feet, he felt an echo in his mind of his own action of throwing away their relationship by throwing the flowers in the trash can. She was really done this time and he honestly couldn't blame her after everything that he had put her through.

Chuck thought back to the time of their games that fall. Why had he made her do all that? It all seemed so stupid and juvenile, looking back. She would have gladly been there for him, had a relationship with him, stayed with him through his grief but he wouldn't let her. He toyed with her, chasing her, making her chase him, pushing her away, running to her for comfort, abandoning her, treating her like she meant nothing to him when in reality she meant everything. Now when she was all he wanted, all he needed he couldn't touch her because he had put her through too much.

What had he done? What had he traded for Blair in this mess? Women? Drugs? Invincibility? Happiness? He hadn't wanted to be tied down, he thought that that would make him weak, make him vulnerable. Yet now he felt more of those two things than he had ever felt before. She wasn't something that tied him down; she was the girl who had freed him from everything in his past. She wasn't something that made him weak. Blair was the one who picked up the crumbling pieces. She saved him over and over. Sure she made him vulnerable; apparently that's what opening your heart did; but now, he was feeling all of the pain that he had wanted to prevent. He hadn't wanted to let her in because then he might get hurt; but she had gotten in anyway and now, now he had lost everything.

Why had he given up so easily? This was Blair, the only girl he had ever loved and he had given up. He wanted to give her what she wanted; so he had stepped back into the elevator to let her be done. But he couldn't do that. Chuck couldn't be done. He needed her in his life. He didn't know how to live without her anymore. But he knew that she wasn't going to just take him back. Chuck needed to give her time, give her space, but he wasn't going to let them be over. They had never really had a chance. For whatever reason outside forces had always managed to come between them. That and his stupid pride, but that wasn't a problem anymore. He knew what he wanted, what he needed now and that was Blair. He was going to have to make some changes though and he knew just where to start. Chuck leaned up and pressed the emergency stop button once more, before getting to his feet and fixing his clothes. He would win Blair back, no matter how long it took.

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Chuck was outside the door of the Bass's lawyer's office first thing the next morning. If there was something that he could do to get the company back from Jack, he had a feeling that that was his first step. In order to get Blair back, he had to get his life back together, unfortunately now that he had pushed her away, he was going to have to do that all on his own.

When the lawyer walked up to find Chuck leaning against his door, he looked only slightly surprised. "Is there something I can do for you Mr. Bass?"

Chuck pushed up from the wall and faced the lawyer, Mr. Litton. "Sir, I need to discuss my options with you."

Mr. Litton looked at him skeptically; this boy didn't seem quite as awful as he had been told he was. He had watched him grow up and act like normal boys his age, well not normal exactly but normal enough for the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Chuck acted out but Mr. Litton had never seen the side of Chuck that he had heard about from others. He had supported Mr. Bass's decision to leave the company to Chuck assuming that Mr. Bass trusted his son and believed in his abilities. That Chuck was coming to him was a good sign. "Step into my office and we will talk."

Chuck nodded and followed the older gentleman, taking a seat across from him in the office.

Mr. Litton began speaking once more. "I assume you are here about the morality clause. There was good reason that I asked you personally about Jack being your guardian. You could have chosen Lily, she had previously agreed to it, but you weren't particularly interested. I was worried that something like what has occurred might transpire but there was nothing that I could legally do to prevent it."

Chuck was leaning forward in his seat; what Mr. Litton was saying was of the upmost importance to him.

"Now, as for your options. Either you wait until you are 21 and reclaim the company . . ."

Chuck interrupted. "Wait, 21, I thought I was legally an adult at 18?"

Mr. Litton frowned; he hadn't counted on Chuck not knowing this. "In the business world; unless something is bequeathed to you, you can't hold majority shares until you are 21. That is when control of the company would pass back to you, assuming that Jack hasn't found a way to stop that from happening."

Chuck shook his head. "No, I can't wait that long. I know Jack and he will find a way to keep the company. He feels as though he has earned it. What's my other option?"

He had been assuming that Chuck wouldn't want to wait but Chuck had no idea how difficult the task ahead of him was. "Your one and only other option is to win back the board."

"Damn it." Chuck muttered. "I blew that one. They already hate me; I wouldn't know where to start." Chuck added looking at his lawyer hopefully.

Mr. Litton wanted to help the boy, he really did but there was nothing in his power that he could do. The morality clause was a tight one. It was the board's decision as to who was running the company if Chuck acted immoral; which he had apparently done. But he knew something that could help. "Know, Charles, that there is nothing legally that I can do for you here, except to provide you council. However, I can tell you that all the members of the board are not as set in their ways as you might believe. It doesn't have to be a unanimous vote; you only need 7 of the thirteen to vote for you to get your company back. If you have any of your father in you at all I assure you, they can be persuaded."

Chuck wanted to give up but then he thought back to what Blair had said. _I believed in you. Your father believed in you. You were the only one who didn't. _Blair thought he could do this. His father had thought he could do this. Surely, the people he had always referred to as his two toughest critics didn't believe that he could do something that he in fact couldn't. No he was going to do this, win over the board, and then he was going to win over Blair. Jack be damned.

Chuck stood. "Thank you, Mr. Litton; you've been a lot of help." He would have liked to stay and discuss his options longer but Chuck had work to do. The sooner he fixed this, the sooner he could fix things with Blair.

**C seen meeting with the family lawyer. Gees C, what kind of trouble could you possibly be having, you just became the richest bachelor in New York City?**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

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**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed. **

**Reviews are always appreciated.**

**xoxo  
kate**


	3. B's 5 Step Plan

**I'm sorry guys I know I've already got two going and adding a third is just going to make updates on the others a lot slower. But I felt the need to write a fic about the new ending or whatever it is to CB. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

**Thanks again to LitPrincess2787 for the most awesome beta ever!**

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Blair was even more careful about her appearance than usual that morning because she knew that she was going to be seeing Chuck for the first time in two weeks. She had been doing okay, not really but well enough. The detox had helped when she adhered to its rules.

Step 1: Eliminate the reminders of Chuck's existence  
Step 2: Do not think about Chuck  
Step 3: Should you see Chuck do not look at him  
Step 4: Do not speak or make contact with Chuck  
Step 5: Do not under any circumstances touch Chuck.

She had done well with steps 1, 3, 4, and 5; but Number 2 she struggled with. It was damn near impossible to not think about him when he was once involved in every aspect of her life. Pushing her steps from her mind she went back to making sure that she was perfection. She may be thinking about the Basshole but she sure as hell wasn't going to let him think that their breakup or whatever it had been had had any affect whatsoever on her life and if she didn't look perfect, that is exactly what Chuck would think.

She had selected something completely classic for today (not that she ever didn't) but she had taken extra care to go for a Grace Kelly type of look. A crème blouse, black pencil skirt, black tights, and black boots, Blair was the epitome of grace and class. She added the finishing touch of a thin crème colored headband with a flower on it, placing it in her loose chocolate curls. Satisfied with her appearance she hurried towards the door where she reached for a black overcoat. Blair put it on and looked at her reflection in the hall mirror. It was a cute coat and fit her well. It had been perfect for Chuck's father's funeral. Step 1 suddenly popped into Blair's head, and with that she tore off the coat. How had she missed it when she had been throwing things

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Blair arrived at school and was immediately flanked by her posse of girls. She listened to them twitter on about things that she couldn't care less about. All she wanted was Yale and Chuck. Wait, had she just thought that. She had been breaking Number 2 all morning and now here she was not only thinking about Chuck but she was actively thinking about wanting him. No, this wasn't right; she had to remember the steps. That was when Blair noticed that she had stopped in her tracks at least thirty seconds before. All of her friends were stopped a few feet in front of her staring back.

Hazel was the first to brave the waters and say something. "You okay B?"

Blair shook it off she could do this. She just needed to remember the steps, step 1 eliminate the reminders of Chuck's existence, step 2 do not think about Chuck, step 3 should you see Chuck do not look at him, step 4 do not speak or make contact with Chuck, step 5 do not under any circumstances touch Chuck. After repeating her mantra in her head she stuck her nose in the air "Of course, I just remembered that I have Calculus homework due fourth period that I haven't finished yet."

The girls shrugged and they all started walking once more. It was then that out of the corner of her eye Blair spotted Chuck stepping out of his limo. So it was true, his suspension had been lifted. He caught her eye across the courtyard and gave her a look that said everything; he didn't care what she had said, he wasn't done. Blair allowed their gazes to lock before she remembered the ever important Number 3, don't look at Chuck, and snapped her head back towards the school before walking away.

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Blair was dreading class change. She had independent study next period; all of the seniors did. Most of the time they all left campus and hit up one sample sale or another but today it was snowing and that meant that every single one of them was going to be in the Library.

Ever since this morning Blair couldn't stop breaking Step 2; in fact Chuck was ALL she could think about. It had been a horrible morning and it only got worse when she walked into the library and saw a certain person that she shouldn't be thinking about sitting next to the only open seat left. What had made her think it was a good idea to stop by her locker on the way here.

Reluctantly Blair walked over and sat down glaring at Serena the entire time. She shot her a look that screamed 'what the hell S why didn't you save me a seat?' In response to the look Serena mouthed, "Sorry Dan saved me a seat." The entire time she actively didn't look at Chuck. It was impossible not to think about him though; with him only inches away.

"Blair." Chuck whispered in a husky voice.

Step 4, Blair reminded herself, no talking to Chuck. Step 3, no looking at Chuck. She was going to follow as many of these damn rules as she possibly could. He was not going to get her off track. She pulled out her notebook and started writing out the rules. She needed to keep them firm in her memory.

"Please Blair." Chuck added pleadingly. "Blair, talk to me."

Blair continued sitting there pretending like she didn't hear anything as she wrote out her steps in colorful pens.

"Damn it Blair." Chuck said, louder than he should have for where they were. When she still didn't pay attention he grabbed her notebook. "At least fucking look at me."

This got her attention. Blair's head snapped towards him and she spoke to him in the flattest tone that she could muster, making sure that her eyes did nothing to betray her feelings. She wanted them to look cold, dead, like his had the many times he had pushed her away. "Chuck give me my notebook, I need to work."

Chuck's nostrils flared, she could tell he was frustrated with her; but she wasn't letting him back in; not that easily. Wait a second where had that come from? She wasn't letting the Basstard back in at all. Lost in thought, it took Chuck's voice to bring her back out.

Sarcastic. Sarcastic and mocking. That was the only way to describe his voice at that moment. "Step 1: Eliminate the reminders of Chuck's existence, Step 2: Do not think about Chuck, Step 3: Should you see Chuck do not look at him, Step 4: Do not speak or make contact with Chuck, Step 5: Do not under any circumstances touch Chuck. Aww, Blair I'm touched that you find making a list of steps to be so much work." At this his voice dropped growing darker by the second, "I know how much I hurt you. Don't you think I know that?" He was looking deep in her eyes; eyes that she was furiously attempting to control. She would not let him see how much she missed him. "I'm sorry Blair, I'm so sorry."

She was trying as hard as she could to keep from losing it; from breaking down. Chuck reached out to stroke her cheek and she had to force herself to not respond in any way. Half of her was begging her to give into his touch; the other half screaming at her to run away as far and fast as she could. While her mind was contemplating the choices Chuck leaned in as though he was about to kiss her. Right before he did he whispered. "I think you're breaking step five."

Just before their lips touched, Blair sprung back. Her eyes weren't cold this time; they were full of fire and hatred. "How could you?" She hissed.

"Blair." Chuck said trying to calm her down. He started leaning back in and she slapped him. Everyone in the library was looking at them.

"I'm not doing this, not here, not now. I can't it's not fair." Blair said standing up quickly and walking out. She was fighting back tears without much success as she flew out the doors. No she had steps, she needed to follow them, and she couldn't let herself fall into his trap not again. He was quicksand and if she fell in again she might not make it back out. Blair just couldn't do that again; he had hurt her too much. She was into the hallway when she realized that Chuck was chasing after her.

"Stop running from me Blair. We need to do this, we need to talk." He finally caught her; reaching out his arm and grabbing hers. She spun around and he saw the tears streaming down her face.

"Satisfied Bass." She wasn't fighting anything anymore. "You did this to me, okay. So I just can't anymore. I told you that at my house. You have hurt me so many times that I can't risk being with you. Because if you hurt me again I don't think that I would survive it." There she was pouring her heart out in the hallway at school.

Chuck wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her, hold her, comfort her. "I could never hurt you again Blair. It kills me to see you so upset; so in pain."

Blair's eyes were filled with angry again. "Then tell me how could you do this? How could you bring me back here; make it even harder for me to tell you to leave me alone. It's not fair to me Chuck to be the proverbial punching bag."

Chuck looked down at his shoes then back up at Blair. "I need you Blair. I need you. I lo. . ."

Blair held up a hand. "Don't you dare." Her voice was rough and scratchy. "Don't you dare say that now Chuck."

"Please, Blair, please forgive me. I'm not going to screw up again; I promise you." Chuck said practically begging her.

She shook her head. "Chuck, you will never stop screwing up. I was wrong, your father was wrong. You will never grow up." Blair watched as Chuck's face crumbled in front of her. She had said the thing that she knew would make him leave her alone.

Chuck was breathing hard but he maintained control. He wasn't going to let himself lose it on Blair. "I'm going to prove you wrong Blair and then I'm going to get you back. You have my promise." He turned to walk back to the library.

He was part of the way down the hallway when Blair said in a voice that was quiet but still clearly audible. "You're promises mean nothing to me."

She watched as he flinched; but he continued walking. As he walked away she backed up against the lockers and let the sobs hit her wave after wave. No he couldn't be doing this to her. She knew herself, she wasn't strong enough to stay away from him and he knew it too. If he really cared then he would leave her alone and wouldn't do this to her again. She had to focus on the steps; they were all she had left.

**Little lunchtime bit of gossip for you all. I hear C and B got into a little tiff in the library that carried out into the hallway. C left angry and B was left behind, in tears. Wonder what's up with the evil alliance now. I'll be the first to know and you'll be the second. **

**xoxo**  
**gossip girl **

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**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed.**

**Reviews are always appreciated :) **

**xoxo  
kate**


	4. Making Plans

**IMPORTANT: So here's the deal guys, I'm basically swamped right now. Last semester I went for about two months or so without updating and I don't want that to happen again. I really enjoy writing so I am going to make a serious effort to update once a week. All three stories will be updated every Sunday evening if I have something to post (This week will just be Remember and Nothing, Games next week I promise). I love you guys so much for being so patient and understanding. *hugs***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

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Chuck wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull her into his embrace; to comfort her. How could he have done this; how could he have screwed up again? But she didn't want him to. Or maybe she did but she wasn't about to let herself want him to. When she ran out of the library he had to follow; his heart didn't give him a choice but her sudden tears had surprised him. That had been the last thing that he had wanted; to upset her again hurt him almost more than he could handle.

_Then tell me how could you do this? How could you bring me back here; make it even harder for me to tell you to leave me alone. It's not fair to me Chuck to be the proverbial punching bag. _Her words were still ringing in his ears; echoing back and forth around his seemingly empty head. He had tried to tell her after that; tried to tell her that he loved her. It had been a last ditch effort because regardless of the fact that he wanted to wait until he could make it special for her; he thought that maybe those words could fix what he had broken, fix Blair.

He had sworn to make it right even though she had told him that she had been wrong about him; that he was exactly the failure that he thought he was. So when she had asked him to walk away he had. Blair could be happy with him, he knew she could. They never had a shot though; not a real one. Everytime they got close something went wrong. He was going to fix that though. He was going to make everything better again.

He had started with getting back into school. Now she was going to be seeing him everyday. He wasn't going to allow her to avoid him. Chuck had plans to be at her classroom doors when she got out of class, to walk her to her next one. He knew she wasn't going to like it but he would be the perfect gentlemen. He would talk to her even when she didn't talk back. There would also be gifts every day. Flowers on her desk, chocolates in her locker, and jewelry in her bag. Everything was planned out and he was going to win her back. He was going to be there every moment possible and eventually Blair would give in, he knew her.

Then there was always part two of his plan. Getting back his company. Once he had done that, Blair would see that he wasn't the same irresponsible guy. She would know that he really had grown up and if all of his other plans had not worked that would. First, he needed to find out which of the board members hadn't voted against him and which ones had. He had picked up on Mr. Litton's hint that that had indeed been the case with the Morality Clause. From the way the lawyer had spoken it was possible that there was only one person that he actually needed to convince; one person to flip the vote. He had a pretty good idea of one person that had voted for him to keep the company, Dorothea Hamilton. She had practically been his grandmother when he was a kid. It was possible that he could get her to tell him who else had voted in his favor. Then he would be able to assess his options and take action.

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Chuck could honestly say that going to the hair salon had not been in his itinerary this morning. Yet here he was sitting down to have his hair trimmed and styled while Dorothea Hamilton had her coloring redone. Chuck had spotted the older lady the minute he walked in the building and had paid the woman working the register extravagant amounts of money to get his hair done at this boutique which normally required appointments be made years in advance and had coughed over even more money to secure a spot next to Mrs. Hamilton.

Her eyes were closed as the hairdressers colored her hair; so Chuck sat down quietly in the next chair; allowing his hair dresser to get started. "I just want a little bit of a trim." He said quietly. The hairdresser nodded and moved away to gather supplies.

"Charles Bass, I didn't expect to see the likes of you here." Mrs. Hamilton said, opening her eyes and looking directly at him. "Well that's not entirely true."

Chuck jumped a little, he was surprised that she had recognized his voice. "Mrs. Hamilton," Chuck said nodding his head in her direction. "It's a pleasure; but if I might ask, why aren't you surprised to see me?"

The older woman chuckled. "Oh Charles, you are your father's son. I knew that you would think to approach me once you thought things through. The hair salon wasn't the location I expected but I suppose it's as good as any."

Chuck shook his head. The looks of the woman were deceiving to say the least. Looking at her one would most likely think that she was an grandmother, the cookie baking type. Chuck didn't doubt that she would do that if she had grandchildren but the part that no one would expect is the sharp brain beneath the surface. Mrs. Hamilton had a quick wit and new the business better than just about anyone. That coupled with her ability to read people made her a force to be reckoned with and Chuck shouldn't have underestimated her. "So what can you tell me?" Chuck asked knowing that she would pick up on what he was saying.

"Well Charles, it doesn't look good." She said as the hair dresser continued working on her and Chuck's hair dresser returned.

"Damn it." Chuck hissed.

Mrs. Hamilton narrowed her eyes. "Language Charles."

"Sorry." Chuck muttered, looking down. "How bad is it?" He asked, looking back up.

Her eyes softened, she had never been able to really scold Charles when he was a kid. The poor thing hadn't had a mother so she had tried to help him along but he would always turn on those puppy dog eyes and her heart would melt. "The vote was 8-5."

Chuck's eyes lit up. "That's not too bad, that's only two people."

"They were all fairly intractable. I convinced both Mr. Jamison and Mr. Richardson to vote in your favor, Mr. Keaton and Mr. Hardin voted for you, and then you know you had my vote. But the rest would simply not change their minds."

Chuck gritted his teeth as he thought about who else was on the board. "Wait, Ms. King voted against me?"

Mrs. Hamilton nodded her head. "Yes, that was a curious one. I was counting on her as one of my seven but she was firm from the start. She immediately sided with Mr. and Mrs. Fleming."

At this point Chuck looked in the mirror. What in the world had the hairdresser done to his hair. It was almost as short as it had been his junior year and the woman was still going at it. He raised up his hand. "Stop cutting." When she hesitated he continued. "Put the scissors down before you do anymore damage." She did as he told and he stood up. He turned to Mrs. Hamilton. "Thank you for your information, you've been very helpful."

As he started to leave she stopped him. "Oh, Charles, the only one that I thought that I might be able to convince was Mr. Hargrove, but I didn't see the point at the meeting without Ms. King. So if you can get Ms. King, I believe Mr. Hargrove might be persuaded." The older woman actually smirked as she said this.

Chuck nodded his head before heading out of the god awful hair salon. This was good, he had somewhere to start now; something to do with his time. He would get the company back, he would get Blair back, and he would for once in his life be happy. There was a lot of work to be done and as he walked out the door he called the florist. "Hello, yes this is Chuck Bass, I have a special request . . . "

**Spotted: C leaving a boutique on the UES with a new haircut. Not his normal barber to say the least, wonder what he's up to now. I'll be the first to know, and you'll be the second. **

**xoxo**

**gossip girl**

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**A/N: I know it wasn't really long but I hope you all enjoyed it. As always, reviews are appreciated. **


	5. Mondays Mean Maybe

**IMPORTANT: So here's the deal guys, I'm still really busy. It's Spring Break right now so I've had a little more time recently). I really love to write though so I am going to try to update as much as possible. I love you guys so much for being so patient and understanding. *hugs***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

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Monday it was flowers. Blair usually liked to be the first one to each of her classes but she had gotten caught up with Serena and was a little late getting to homeroom. Just before she walked in the door, Blair received a text from Gossip Girl.

**Well, well, well, whatever do we have here? Seems like Queen B had flowers patiently awaiting her arrival at her desk this morning. Whoever could have sent them? **

**xoxo **

**gossip girl **

Blair looked down at the picture attached. Blue hydrangeas, her favorite. If she had had any doubt as to who the flowers were from, the picture eliminated it. Damn him, thought Blair as she walked into the room to find that sure enough the bouquet from the picture on Gossip Girl was sitting on her desk. Being the Queen that she was Blair ignored the twenty or so eyes staring at her and simply picked up the bouquet as she sat down. Surprisingly enough there was no card.

At the end of homeroom she stood and walked out the door; heading out to her next class. She was looking at the bouquet and didn't even realize as she ran strait into Chuck.

"Whoa there Waldorf." Chuck said catching her.

Blair extracted herself from his arms and brushed herself off. "What are you doing here Chuck?" She asked as she started walking towards her locker.

Chuck smirked. "I go to school here Blair, remember?" He matched her step for step even as she walked briskly.

Blair rolled her eyes and glared at him. "You know what I meant Chuck. Why were you waiting outside my homeroom?" At this point, Blair was to her locker, trying to do the combination while holding the small bouquet.

Chuck reached out and took the bouquet from her hand so that she could get her locker open. "I told you Blair, I'm not giving up on us. Not again. You told me you love me and now there is absolutely no way I am just going to give you up."

Right at that moment, Blair managed to open her locker, at which point hundreds of flowers tumbled out, falling all over the floor and Blair. "What the hell Chuck?" Blair asked as she tried to gather up the flowers; not failing to notice that they were all hydrangeas, each were different sizes and colors but they were still hydrangeas all the same. Blair immediately started to tear up.

"Surprise." Chuck said with a smile as he got down on his knees to help her.

Once they had all of the flowers gathered, they simply stood there holding them in their arms. "What am I suppose to do with these Chuck? I have class and I can't very well walk around carrying all of these flowers all day."

Chuck shrugged. "Don't worry about it, I'll have them taken care of."

"Ugh." Blair uttered glaring once more before tossing the flowers at Chuck and storming off.

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Blair had been relieved every time she walked into a class for the rest of the day. She kept thinking that more flowers were going to spontaneously appear around every corner and on each of her classroom desks. However, she had thankfully avoided any more floral disasters. Unfortunately there was something else that she hadn't been able to avoid, Chuck. He had been at every single one of her classroom doors all day; walking her from class to class. She tried ignoring him thinking that maybe he would just go away; but he walked with her all the same, mostly just saying nothing.

After Chuck showed up to walk her to five of her classes Blair finally said something. "Chuck, what are you doing?"

Chuck just shrugged and kept walking with her, sauntering down the hallway in a way that only Chuck would, so she stopped moving. "I said, what are you doing?"

He had stopped with her and at this he looked at her straight in the eyes. "I already told you this once today, I'm not giving up."

Blair glared, "Yeah, you've made that perfectly clear, but what exactly does walking next to me not saying a word have to do with that."

Chuck took a step towards her but didn't get too close. He was just doing it so that he might speak lower and she could still hear him. "It's okay that you don't get it Blair; but for me, being near you is enough. Well, it's not enough, but it's something. It's also important to me to constantly remind you that I'm not going anywhere." After he finished Chuck took a step back, making sure he didn't crowd her.

Blair stood there looking at him for a minute before saying in a low voice. "I wish you wouldn't."

He held back the desire to just reach out and touch her, to tuck her hair behind her ear, to lean in and kiss her. He held it back because he didn't want to scare her away. "I want you to be happy Blair. I want you to be happy more than I want to be happy. If I thought that you would be happier, that your life would be better if I wasn't in it then I would leave you alone. That's the only way that I could do that." Chuck paused for a moment searching her eyes, looking for something, anything to say that he was getting through to her. Her eyes betrayed nothing and so he continued. "I can make you happy Blair, I know that I can. I swear to you that I wouldn't be here putting you through this again if I didn't."

Blair started walking again and Chuck joined her. Right as they were nearing her classroom, she turned to him. "You broke me Chuck and I am just trying to put the pieces back together for what seems like the thousandth time."

Chuck lost his control and interrupted. "I know that Blair, don't you think I know that? I'm not the only one who's hurt you, Nate, Marcus, Serena, your mom, and your father by leaving; all of them have hurt you. I was there, I helped pick up the pieces every time Blair."

This time it was Blair's turn to interrupt. "Yeah, except for when it was you who broke me, right Chuck?"

Their conversation was becoming intense and they were drawing a lot of attention from everyone around them but Chuck didn't give a damn. "And it's always going to come back to that isn't it Blair? Yes, I gave you up when you had run back to Nate, I'm sorry I felt like you had hurt me just as badly as I had hurt you. I made up for that. Yes, I left you to go to Tuscany by yourself; I was scared. I made up for that. Then I pushed you away this fall because you wanted something from me that you weren't willing to give yourself. And I'm sorry I keep messing up but I swear to you that I've grown up. I've learned from my mistakes. You are the most important thing to me in this world, you're all I have."

Blair looked as though she was about to give in, she broke eye contact. "I can't trust you not to break me again, no matter the reason. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." At that she turned to walk into her classroom.

Chuck reached out and grabbed her arm and she reluctantly turned her head. "I can't believe that Blair."

She looked him straight in the eye when she said in a firm voice. "I can."

Chuck let go of her arm and she moved into the classroom. They were done for today at least. Yet Chuck still had a lot of work to do to prove himself.

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**A/N: I know it's really short but I hope that you all enjoyed it anyway. Reviews are always appreciated. **

**xoxo**

**kate**


	6. Tuesdays, Chocolates, and Revelations

**IMPORTANT: So here's the deal guys, I'm still really busy. It's Spring Break right now so I've had a little more time recently). I really love to write though so I am going to try to update as much as possible. I love you guys so much for being so patient and understanding. *hugs***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

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The first thing Blair did upon arriving to school was check her homeroom to make sure nothing had been left. As she peeked inside the door she prayed that Chuck had given up. When she saw her desk was empty she breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing. Maybe it was finally over. As she turned around to head back out to see her friends she jumped almost a foot. Chuck was standing about a foot or so away from he. She couldn't prevent the sharp intake of breath that his unexpected nearness caused. He looked amazing as always; so completely put together and so damn sexy.

Chuck nodded in greeting it was a miracle that he managed to keep his distance. Her appearance always seemed to have that effect on him; it was always so damn staggering and she looked her best as always. "You beat me." He said with a smile as he held out a box of chocolates, the Godiva Gold Collection.

She hadn't even noticed him holding anything but couldn't help returning a small half smile and reaching out to take the chocolates. Later she would blame it on the surprise she had felt at his nearness. Blair looked down at the box of chocolates in her hands and said quietly as she looked up smiling a little, "So Tuesday it's chocolates?"

This time Chuck smiled that full smile he reserved for her eyes alone. "Tuesday it's chocolates."

She shook her head and her smile faded a little as she almost started to cry.

Chuck immediately panicked; taking a step closer to her. He reached out his hand to brush a tear that had escaped and his fingers barely managed to graze her face as she backed quickly away.

"Please don't touch me Chuck." Blair whispered.

Chuck hated himself for the look that was in Blair's eyes; the look of mistrust. He was thankful however that her tears had stopped. "One day I will earn that back."

Blair cocked her head slightly. She was confused by his statement. "I don't understand Chuck."

A small half smirk appeared on his lips. "Your trust." He paused a moment to let the significance of the word sink in a little. "I know you still love me Blair. You told me that no matter what you would always be there for me because what hurts me hurts you. That kind of love doesn't just stop."

Blair was biting her lip and opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something. However Chuck raised a hand to silence her. Surprisingly she allowed him to continue. "It's not my feelings that I need to prove and it's not your love that I need to win; it's your trust. Trust that I won't leave you, trust that I won't hurt you again, trust that I've grown up, trust that my promises mean something. Overtime you are going to find that you can trust me, I'm going to make damn sure of it."

She had looked as though she was listening to what he said; accepting it; but, as soon as he was finished speaking Chuck saw a light inside her eyes turn off. The mistrust that had changed to hope was now coldness. Blair had shut down again; closing him out. "Just leave me alone Chuck. I don't want you in my life anymore."

Once more Chuck allowed Blair to walk into her classroom because he knew that some part of her had heard what he had said and that was what was important. He was building up the trust and breaking down the walls she had constructed to block him out; whether she knew it or not.  
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When Blair saw Chuck standing outside her door at the end of her last class she groaned in frustration. After every class he had been waiting with another delectable treat. He reached out and handed her a small Godiva box. Blair reluctantly opened it to find four chocolate covered strawberries. She closed the lid resolutely and handed it back. Chuck however moved his hands, holding them up as if in surrender and Blair said. "Take them back. I don't want them."

Chuck smiled. "Come on Blair, I know chocolate covered strawberries are your favorite."

Blair narrowed her eyes. "Not if they come from you." She said as she started walking, tossing the chocolates back over her shoulder.

Chuck caught the box and was hot on her heels. "Blair, just take the damn chocolates."

Blair glanced over at Chuck, her eyes shooting daggers. "What's it going to take for you to leave me alone Chuck?" Blair said angrily. She had come to the decision today that she had to nip this game of Chuck's in the bud before he actually got to her; no matter what.

"There's nothing you can do Blair; nothing will keep me away from you ever again." Chuck said suddenly serious.

Determination washed over Blair as she did the one thing she swore to herself that she would never do. "What if I slept with someone else, Chuck?" Her voice was serious but there was a mocking quality to it. "Would you still be chasing me around?"

Chuck reached out and grabbed her arm turning her to him. Disbelief filled his voice and there was a jovial smile on his face. "You didn't so it doesn't matter."

Blair looked down and summoned all the strength she could muster before looking directly into his laughing eyes. "I did." She paused letting the words sink in. "New Year's Eve, I slept with Jack at the Palace."

"I don't believe you." Chuck said, his voice begging her to take it back.

Blair did what she had to do and made her voice tantalizingly evil. "Well you should Chuck. We fucked. Do you understand me now? He wanted to fuck some more and date ironically enough but I was too busy taking care of poor little Chuck who lost his Daddy."

Chuck's grip on her arm immediately loosened and his hand fell down by his side. He could tell by her eyes and the expression on her face that Blair wasn't lying to him. She and Jack had slept together.

Shock was written all over Chuck's face as he took the news. Blair did what she knew she must and kept her voice cold. "Good. Now that that's settled we can all get back to what's left of our lives after the destruction we have caused one another." Then she turned on her heel and walked away; not once looking back.

Chuck stood there watching her go. He wanted to chase after her; to ask her questions about what she had just revealed to him but he was frozen; paralyzed with shock. He began to shake all over as his body and mind began the internal struggle once more into whether or not he could forgive Blair. He had too much to do to allow that struggle to take place while he stood in the hallways of Constance so he moved quickly out to his limo. His phone beeped and he looked down; pausing at the door to the limo.

**Gossip Girl here. Looky looky what I just heard, seems B moved on just fine without C. Apparently she's into older men now or is it simply Bass men B? Either way it sounds like B and J had a fun NYE. **

**xoxo **

**gossip girl **

As he approached the limo his driver was already holding the door open. "You are late for your appointment Mr. Bass."

Chuck practically growled at the driver. "Your job is to drive my limo not lecture me on punctuality. Now do what I pay you to do."

"Yes Mr. Bass." The driver said quickly as he moved to the driver's side and started the limo on it's way.

Chuck still glowering; but in a slightly more human tone. "But for the record, I simply had more important things to attend to." That was the damn truth. Jack or no Jack Blair was still the most important person in his life but he wasn't sure he was going to be able to deal with this new obstacle.

The driver nodded and drove quickly to their destination. Luckily, they didn't have to go far and within minutes they were pulling up in front of a large apartment, ironically close to Blair's building.

"Thank you." Chuck said as he hurried out of the limo and into the building. The bellman had been expecting him because he had called in advance. "Ms. King should be out of her investment meeting at any moment Mr. Bass."

Chuck nodded and the bellman led him to a side conference room. After only a few minutes Chuck heard the door open and stood up as Ms. Gloria King strutted in. The woman was no older than 28 and Chuck had always thought she was gorgeous. Apparently so did his father since her affair with the man was how she got on the board in the first place. She narrowed her eyes at Chuck when she realized who he was. "I was under the impression that I was meeting with a potential investor. I don't have time for your immature games Chuck."

"Would you have met with me if I told you who I was, Gloria?" Chuck asked and when she didn't respond he had his answer. "I didn't think so. Now tell me why you voted against me."

Gloria looked away before looking back at Chuck. "You acted against the morality clause, did you not?" This time it was Chuck who didn't answer. "Therefore I felt as though it was the only choice."

Chuck was angry and he could see in her eyes that he wasn't getting the full truth. "Cut the bullshit Gloria. You and I both know the company should be in my hands. Not those of my filthy son-of-a-bitch uncle who was fucking my girlfriend while pretending he was searching for me; who continued pursuing my girlfriend even after I was here." Chuck new he had hit the nail on the head Gloria had been sleeping with Jack. He could tell by the look on her face; but he thought he would continue for good measure. "He's nothing but a sleazy drug addict who uses sex to get what he wants. I'm sure taking away the only woman that I've ever loved was just the icing on the cake." Gloria's eyes had begun to narrow significantly so Chuck decided to throw her a little bit of a curve ball to push her over the edge. "What you didn't think it was just you and the new secretary he was sleeping with did you?"

Gloria's eyes were nothing more than slits as she finally lost control. "That mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch. I swear he'll pay for this." She slung the notebook she had been holding across the room.

Chuck knew he had her and said in a conspiratual yet sympathetic voice. "Then help me take him down Gloria."

She nodded and Chuck gave his trademark smirk before they finalized the plan he had already been working on.

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Chuck practically waltzed into the apartment building lobby. That had been some of his best work to date. It had been all too easy to figure out that she was sleeping with Jack; why else would she have voted against Chuck? But Blair had unknowingly given him the very ammo he needed to get Gloria to crack. A smug smile on his face he headed towards the door. That was when he noticed Jack walking towards him. "Hello Uncle." Chuck said with spite dripping from his voice.

"Why don't we cut the pleasantries?" Jack said sarcastically as he continued. "I know what you're doing here Chuck and it's not going to work. You can't win back the board."

Chuck smirked, Jack was furious. "We'll see about that." Chuck said continuing on towards the door.

Jack side stepped in front of him. "You're just a kid, you don't even know how to run the company."

Chuck's eyes were blazing. "It's my legacy."

"Aww, the poor little rich boy has something to prove." Jack said mockingly.

Anger seeped through his veins at Jack's goading. "My father is dead Jack, I ha . . . "

But Jack interrupted. "You think I was talking about your father?" He smirked, this was going to be fun messing with the kid.

"Who else would you be talking about?" Chuck said bitterly.

Jack's smirk grew into almost a smile. "Blair of course."

Chuck's eyes flashed. "Leave her out of this."

Chuckling, Jack continued. "I wonder if you would still be chasing her around if you knew what she had done?" He had been looking forward to this moment for so long; the moment where he got to reveal exactly what had happened between him and Blair on New Year's Eve.

Chuck glared. "Oh you mean fucking you in my hotel on New Year's Eve while I was mourning my father somewhere in Bangkok?" Chuck watched as Jack experienced several emotions; surprise at the fact that he knew, anger that he had gotten to be the one to spill the beans, and finally determination. But Chuck continued regardless. "That I already know."

Jack had to regroup quickly so he couldn't make Chuck hate Blair but he could still make him hate himself. "Yes, but I have to wonder if she told you why?" Jack paused and when Chuck didn't respond he knew to continue. "Poor little thing was so very destroyed when you left her. You just thought you were messed up you should have seen what you did to her. She was falling apart and I was there to pick up the pieces. On New Year's Eve she was drinking to forget, kissing to forget, going upstairs with me to forget." Chuck's jaw was firmly locked, his teeth grinding, and his fist clenching as Jack continued. "Did you ever think that that's why she wants nothing more to do with you? She doesn't want to go back to that place. Getting you to sleep with those girls was only partly to break the morality clause. You've been given everything you've every wanted and you don't deserve a girl like Blair; but damn she was a good fuck."

Chuck felt the fury rush through his veins. He barely maintained control as he stepped backwards doing his best to keep a clear head. He knew Jack was trying to push his buttons but he had inadvertently done something very different. That's when Chuck smiled. "Thank you Jack. I was about to make the same mistake twice but because of this little conversation everything should be just fine." With that Chuck stepped around a confused and infuriated Jack and walked towards the door. Jack had just made him realize that Blair was testing him; whether she knew it or not. She had revealed to him something that would normally cause him to push her right out the door when he had promised to never leave her. Jack had inadvertently told him the very things he needed to know to forgive Blair. Now Chuck had some shopping to do and a phone call to make. "Serena." He said, surprised she answered the phone "I need your help with something" and even more surprised when she agreed.

**Spotted: C and J having a confrontation of sorts in the middle of the Bingington Apartments lobby. While I have no clue as to what the two of them were doing there I have a feeling that their conversation had everything to do with the one B and C had earlier today.**

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A/N: This chapter was fun to write, I hope you enjoyed it :) Reviews are always appreciated.


	7. Tiffany Wednesdays

**IMPORTANT: Sorry it's been a while guys. I'm still really busy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

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Chuck strolled into school proud of himself. More so than he had been in a while. There was this new feeling of rightness in him. He didn't have the board back yet; but he was as good as there. However, that wasn't even the most important thing. The feeling of rightness came from the fact that he finally understood what it means to promise someone that you are going to be there for them no matter what they do. He smiled as he walked into her homeroom and sat perched on the back of her chair, his feet placed in the seat. Thanks to some help from Serena this was one present that he was going to have to deliver in person. He didn't trust the students enough to leave it here.

Just as he was thinking that he noticed a giggling Freshman at the door snapping a shoot; so he did something quite rare and smiled.

Blair was walking hurriedly towards school with Serena hot on her heels. "Why did we have to do breakfast at Fred's this morning S? I'm going to be late."

Serena jogged a little to catch up with her. "For homeroom, really Blair? Plus we all know you aren't going to be late, you just want to get there before everyone finds out what Chuck's gotten you today." Serena said rolling her eyes. "Plus, didn't you say earlier that nothing's going to happen today; that Chuck is finally going to leave you alone now that he knows about Jack?"

Blair couldn't help the clinch in her stomach that occurred at the possibility that Chuck really had given up before it finally hit her. She suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned to Serena; narrowing her eyes. "Wait a second. You know, don't you?" She didn't give Serena much time to defend herself as she continued. "You know what it is that Chuck has gotten me today. You are helping him try to win me back. You asked me to breakfast this morning on purpose; so that Chuck would have time to beat me to my homeroom." Blair said these as statements firmly, not as questions because she knew that they were true.

Serena shrugged guiltily and smiled. That's when their phones went off.

**Wakey Wakey Upper East Siders, I've got a new photo for you all about C's quest for B's heart. Looks like he hasn't given up the chase just yet. Don't worry C, you can sit on my desk anytime.**

Blair looked down at the photo of Chuck sitting perched on her desk and couldn't ignore the slight lift of her heart knowing that he hadn't given up. But she pushed that aside and glared at Serena who still hadn't said anything. "How could you do this to me S? I'm your best friend; you are suppose to be supporting me, not going behind my back and helping him. This was hard enough already but you are just making it harder. How long have you been helping him? I suppose the open seat next to Chuck in the library wasn't an accident and on Monday making me late?"

When Serena didn't answer Blair continued. "Of course not. Why would I ever think that you could actually be a good friend and help me through this as opposed to trying to cause more drama in my life. Don't you see I can't handle it anymore?"

It seemed Blair was finally out of things to say so after a moment or so of silence. "He's different B. Chuck's not the same guy anymore."

Blair shook her head. "You just don't realize how many times Chuck Bass has been 'different.' Trust me it happens like once every couple of months and like a stupid love struck little girl I always accept his apology and believe him that he's different. But here I still am hurting and alone. I just can't do it anymore." With that she turned and walked away and this time Serena let her.

Blair walked up to the desk and without a word Chuck stood and handed her a little blue box. He reached out while she was looking down at the box and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. In surprise Blair looked up. She was so startled by his touch that she stood frozen long enough for him to lean in and place a kiss on her forehead before smiling and walking out of the room.

Blair was shaking as she sat down. Why on earth had she let him do that? She knew that he was starting to get to her and the thought terrified her. It made her want to run away; as far and fast as she could. Instead she opened the box with her shaking hands and looked inside. She was confused as she looked at its contents. It was a pair of earrings, gorgeous of course; Chuck had excellent taste if nothing else. However, the earrings were a pair that perfectly matched the necklace Chuck had given her for her seventeenth birthday. At that Blair realized that Chuck must not know that she had thrown out the necklace while she tried to toss him out of her life completely. _Oh well,_ Blair thought to herself, It doesn't matter what he knew or didn't know because he didn't matter; she couldn't let him.

When Blair walked out of homeroom she was unsurprised to find Chuck standing there. He handed her another little blue box and she took it knowing that he wasn't going to let her not accept the gift. Blair simply started walking the box in her hand, which was dangling by her side.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Chuck asked with a smile as he reached out and touched her elbow.

Blair, who was more prepared this time immediately drew her arm away. "Don't touch me again Chuck."

Chuck was trying not to lose his temper but he was slightly exasperated with her. "Come on, Blair, how much longer are you going to put me through this. I'm sorry, you know that and I am clearly willing to do anything to prove that to you."

"Sorry isn't good enough this time Chuck. You are never going to grow up. You just make the same mistakes over and over." Blair said but she did open the box. Inside was a light bracelet, also matching the necklace.

"Do you like it?" He asked softly as they continued walking. He had spent a long time picking it out and was hoping for her approval.

"When are you going to stop this Chuck? I thought after what I told you yesterday that this would be over. That I could be done with all of this. Yet you are still here." Blair said looking away.

Chuck smiled. "See Blair things are changing. I'm not running away just because we have a problem. In fact there's nothing that you can do to make me stop trying to win you back. As for Jack, there's nothing to forgive. It was my fault for leaving you here and even with that I know that you are way too important to me to through away over that."

Blair couldn't help but smile a small smile. She wanted to believe him, believe that he had changed, that things could be different; but before she let herself reach out and grab him, she turned and walked into her classroom; leaving Chuck standing there.

Chuck saw that he almost had her. He was so close that he could hardly stand it and once he had the company back; once he had proved himself in every way possible, she would know that she could really trust that he was different.

As Blair sat watching the clock during eighth period, she dreaded the moment that the large hand reached the twelve once more. She wasn't sure what more Chuck had given her. Before homeroom it was the earrings, before first the small bracelet, before second a beautiful ring, before third a hair clip, before fourth a second pair of earrings (still matching the necklace but studs this time he reasoned that she needed options with which to wear), before fifth a second bracelet (this one heavier with pieces that dangled) , before sixth another ring, before seventh a headband studded with diamonds, before eighth, what Chuck called a supplemental necklace. The necklace was very similar in style to the original, with a lot of the same shapes but it was shorter and less flashy. The bell to let seniors leave sounded all too soon for Blair and she reluctantly got up and left the classroom; taking her time with her things.

As she walked out the door of her classroom, Chuck handed her one more box. This one surprisingly wasn't blue and she raised her eyebrows. "Not Tiffany?"

Chuck smirked. "Don't always judge a book by its cover Waldorf."

Still standing in the hallway she cautiously opened the box and gasped in surprise. She reached out and touched the diamonds on the necklace in the box. Fingering the hearts that dangled from the chain. "Is this . . . ?" Blair started.

"Yes." Chuck said quickly.

Blair looked up at him. "But how did you . . . Oh Serena." Blair said realization hitting her.

"She kept it just in case you changed your mind." Chuck said as he reached out and touched her hand that wasn't holding the box. Blair didn't move and Chuck continued. "I called her yesterday to ask her to help me pick out some jewelry for you and she said she had something even better."

By this time Chuck was holding Blair's free hand and brought it up to his lips, where he placed a soft kiss. "I need to go this afternoon but please think about it Blair."

She didn't nod but she didn't tell him to go to hell so Chuck took it as a good sign as he hurried towards his limo.

"Mrs. Hamilton." Chuck said into his phone as he got into his limo. "Yes I did have success with Ms. King. Yes I am going to go work on it right now. I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning. Thank you for everything." Chuck smiled as he closed his phone. Everything was finally falling into place and he couldn't be happier.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always appreciated.


	8. Thursdays, Memories, and Meetings Part I

**IMPORTANT: Sorry it's been a while guys. I'm still really busy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

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Blair waited anxiously on the steps of the Met. She was hoping for a Gossip Girl blast about what Chuck had done today before she headed in. In all actuality she should hate those messages Gossip Girl had been posting every morning but for some reason she just couldn't bring herself to. Not anymore. That's why when it turned 7:55 am and her phone buzzed, her heart dropped. Looking down at the Gossip Girl message she immediately shook it off and headed towards homeroom.

**Well, well, well, it seems as though C is done begging for B to come back to him. From the picture that was just sent it appears that school is about to begin and there is no sign of C or a gift for B. From the looks of it I'd say C is finished playing Win the Waldorf. **

_I am Blair Waldorf. I am Blair Waldorf. I am Blair Waldorf and Blair Waldorf does not let some guy dictate her emotions. Blair Waldorf also doesn't let guys of the hook as easily as she was about to._ _Use this as a lesson Blair; remember that he is always going to disappoint you. _She thought to herself as she walked into Constance.

Blair wasn't paying attention and ran right into someone exiting her homeroom just as she was entering. "I am so sorry." She started, bending down to gather the things she had dropped. "I wasn't looking where I was . . . " Blair had finally looked up at the person she ran into. "Nate, what are you doing leaving my homeroom?"

Nate smiled and helped her to her feet. "You'll see. I've got to run though Blair or I'm going to be la . . . " Nate was cut off by the bell and after a last parting smile he took off towards St. Jude's.

Blair stepped into the classroom confused until she saw the box on her desk. At that she couldn't withhold a smile. Especially when the phones started beeping once more.

**Looks like I spoke too soon my little upper east siders. It seems that B got a gift after all. Apparently delivery boy N was just a little late. **

Blair smirked as she sat in her seat and opened the package. She knew that all of the eyes in the room were focused on her and she didn't mind. It had been so long since the last time she hadn't minded everyone looking at her that it took her by surprise a little; but she continued opening the package. Blair removed the tissue paper to find a photo album. She stared at it for a moment perplexed before flipping through It and noticing that there weren't any pictures. Blair raised her eyebrows, it wasn't like Chuck not to think things through.

Blair flipped back to the front cover. It simply said Memories in large flowing letters. However this time when she opened the cover she noticed something, a note on the back of the cover.

_Blair, _

_As you can see, your photo album is a little empty. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you fill it but I have enlisted some people to help out in my absence. So to start things of, the girl next to you, Ellie, should be able to assist. _

_Yours,_

_Chuck_

Blair smiled and turned her head to face the girl next to her who proudly held out an envelope. Blair opened it and couldn't help but stifle a laugh. The first picture she pulled out was from a child's birthday party. There was a dark headed boy with a devilish smirk and deep brown eyes with his arm slung around a pretty little girl in a frilly pink dress that happened to be ripped at the bottom. Blair didn't even remember the picture being made but knew that it was Chuck's fifth birthday party.

_"Come on Blair it's fun!" Shouted Nate from the bottom of the stairs._

_Blair crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't want to." _

_"Don't be such a little priss." Called Serena. "We all did it."_

_Serena was telling the truth all of the children at Chuck's birthday party were at the bottom of the Grand Staircase at the Palace Hotel, having slid down the banister. But Blair was afraid, not that she would ever let someone know that. _

_"I don't want to ruin my dress." Said Blair as she began to walk down the stairs. "Mommy would be angry."_

_Before she knew it Chuck Bass had lept up the stairs and was standing next to her. He said quietly. "Nathanial likes girls who are adventurous, girls like Serena. He's not going want a girlfriend who won't even slide down the banister."_

_Blair's little eyebrows had shot up. How had Chuck Bass known that she like Nate Archibald? However, for some strange reason that wasn't what she asked. Instead she said in a small voice. "I'm scared."_

_Little Chuck was suddenly serious. "Don't be. I promise I'll be there to catch you." _

_Blair bit her bottom lip before nodding her head. Chuck smiled and rushed back to the bottom as she got ready._

_"How'd you convince her to do it?" Asked Nate, as confused as always. _

_Chuck smirked. "I simply said that it was my birthday and as such she had to do what I said." All the other children grinned and Chuck nodded up at Blair mouthing, "Ready."_

_Her eyes were still fearful but she nodded and let go. _

Blair smiled at the memory. Chuck had done as promised and been there to catch her; but they hadn't anticipated the Serena interference as she ran about playing tag, that had sent both Blair and Chuck tumbling to the ground. She turned the photo over more out of curiosity than anything else only to find writing on the back. The back of the photo said_ I promise I'll be there to catch you_ in the center and **Chuck's 5th Birthday** in the bottom corner, clearly in different handwriting. Blair knew that the writing in the Center was Chuck's but she wondered for a moment who it was that had taken the photo, who had written the date? But then she placed it into the album because she had noticed the next picture and started to laugh.

_Blair pouted as she sat in front of the tv. She had gotten chicken pox first out of all of the UES kids so she had to be completely isolated from everyone else because they didn't want the other children catching it. Serena and Nate hadn't even been allowed to visit and she itched all over. That's when she heard the door open._

_"Hey" Chuck said sheepishly as he walked into the room._

_Blair knew her eyes must have lit up because he smiled a huge smile. "What are you doing here Chuck?"_

_"I thought you might want some company." He said walking into the room, shutting the door behind him. "I was just sitting outside in the waiting room at Dad's office so I left."_

_"All by yourself?" Blair asked in awe that Chuck would sneak out for her. He nodded. "But aren't you going to get in trouble?"_

_Chuck shrugged. "Maybe. They probably wont notice I'm gone though. He climbed up next to her on the bed. "Here I brought you something." He said holding out a bag. _

_Blair took the bag, happier now than she had been the past three days. When she opened the bag she saw several Audrey Hepburn movies; Roman Holiday, Sabrina, Funny Face, Charade, and Breakfast at Tiffany's._

_"I thought you might get bored, you know, being stuck up here by yourself all the time and I know how much you liked My Fair Lady so I thought you might like these too." He was obviously nervous and Blair had yet to look up. "Oh yeah and I have the school work you've missed. _

_She looked up at Chuck and threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" After a moment she realized what she had just done and pulled back. "Oh Chuck I'm so sorry. Now You're going to end up all itchy too!" _

_Chuck shrugged again."It's okay."_

_Blair grinned sheepishly. "Will you watch one with me?" _

_"Of course." Chuck replied quickly. "I'm already exposed now right?"_

_Blair smiled. "Let's watch this one first." Pointing at Breakfast at Tiffany's. _

_While Blair was putting in the movie, Chuck had taken out a red marker and put small dots all over his face. When she turned back around her face broke into a huge smile and Chuck said confidently. "So you're not the only one." _

Blair grinned thinking back. Of course two days later Chuck had come down with the chicken pox too. She had visited him every afternoon after school that week and no one stopped her. They didn't see the harm since she had already had it. That's when this picture was from. One of the days she visited Blair had insisted on putting red dots on her face just like he had. Apparently someone had made a picture of it. She flipped the picture over. _Getting chicken pox was worth spending that much time with you_. Chuck would say something like that; but she was still puzzled by the handwritting in the bottom right corner.** Chuck and Blair's Bout with Chicken Pox.**

As she slid the photo in the album she noticed the next one. Looking down at the photo she shook her head back and forth. It was one of their first trips to the Hamptons that she actually remembered well. They had been about 10 or 11 that year. It was the summer when Serena had been away visiting her father and the other parents had decided to hire two au pairs for the three of them. This picture had been taken at the beach. The au pairs had been ignoring them but when they looked up and saw what they were up to, the silly blonde one, Kara, Kyree, Kiera, something like that, had made over it to no end. She had made dozens of pictures. Now that she thought back, the boys had been in a sort of tug of war over her all summer without Serena there so that day's events shouldn't have been a surprise. It's just that before last year, she had never considered the possibility that Chuck Bass had feelings for her past friendship.

_Blair had been laying out on her beach chair just like the au pairs were when Nate came running up with Chuck on his heels. "Come play with us Blair, we're building a fort." _

_Blair lowered her glasses and peaked out from under the wide brim of her hat. "Nate, you are blocking my sun." _

_Nate gave Blair a look of exasperation. Sure Chuck was his best friend, but lately he had been thinking about Blair a lot. She looked so peaceful and so pretty laying there and it was like he was seeing her for the first time. They had known each other since they were in diapers but lately things seemed different between them. This summer had changed things and suddenly it didn't seem as though she was just Blair Waldorf, the pretty little princess his parents had always mentioned. No, she was more than that and he didn't know why he was just now seeing it. "Come on Blair, I just want to hang out with you." _

_Chuck watched as Nathaniel finally seemed to fit all of the pieces together. Blair was and had always been enamored with Nathaniel, her perfect Prince Charming, but Chuck had never really been worried. Always before Nathaniel hadn't been able to see past golden girl Serena but with Serena spending the summer with her father Nathaniel had begun to see Blair for the incredible girl she was. He was scared because Nathaniel was his best friend and if he woke up and grabbed what was right in front of him, then Chuck was never going to have a chance with her. Once Nathaniel had her, Chuck knew all to well how stupid Nathaniel would have to be to let her go. _

_Blair wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Nate I really just want to lay out for a while. And why are you building a fort anyway? Forts are for wars and gory battles."_

_Chuck watched Nathaniel's reaction. Blair definitely had him on his toes, as it was quite obvious Nate wasn't sure what he should say. So Chuck decided to use this opportunity for all it was worth. "I'm not building a fort." Chuck said with a smirk. _

_Blair turned her head to look at Chuck. She had almost forgotten that he had been standing there because she had been so focused on Nate. She raised her eyebrows in question, "What are you building Chuck?" _

_At that, Chuck's smirk turned to a smile and he leaned closer to her. "A castle fit for a princess." He turned and began to walk away; but not before calling back to her. "Even one from the Upper East Side."_

_Blair's face broke into a huge grin and Nate was so confused. Why could Chuck make her smile like that? He wrinkled his features in frustration. "Yeah, well I'm going to make a better one."_

_Chuck shot Nate a look that clearly revealed his dislike for Nate's interference and Nate shot him one right back. _

_Blair looked back and forth between the two smirking, "Guys why don't you work together and make me the best castle ever." _

_The boys had narrowed their eyes at one another but after a moment they seemed to grudgingly agree. _

_Both boys seemed determined to do their best to impress Blair and they worked all day creating this grand castle. That's when the silly blonde au pair had noticed and couldn't help but be impressed. "Ohmygod ohmygod, there must be pictures of this. Boys go pose with your castle." She said to the two who at this point were laying flat on the ground completely exhausted. _

_They looked at one another and grinned before both rushing forward and lifting Blair out of her chair. "Wha . . What are you guys doing?" Blair squealed as the unceremoniously lifted her and carried her over in front of the castle._

_Her eyes had widened as they placed her down, she hadn't looked yet and the castle was indeed magnificent. They had somehow managed to build a castle that was as tall or taller than they were. "Wow." she whispered. _

_The boys grinned and Nate said. "Smile and pose for the camera Blair." They then moved to get out of the picture but Blair had reached both arms out and grabbed them. "Not without my white knights in shinning armor."_

_The guys shrugged and proceeded to each wrap an arm around her and smile for the camera. _

The blonde had to have taken a hundred pictures of them in different poses and Blair couldn't help but laugh at this one. Both Chuck and Nate were down on one knee on either side of her. Each holding one of her hands as though they were about to propose. Who could have guessed how prophetic the picture would be?

She flipped the photo over and was unsurprised to see the same two handwrittings. Chuck's in the center saying, _Always at your service, Princess_, and the other mysterious writing, **Blair and her White Knights in the Hamptons 7/01**. She rolled her eyes at the cheesiness but at the same time, she couldn't help but grin.

When Blair saw the next picture she burst out laughing yet cringed at the same time. Oh middle school, how awkward they all were. It would probably amaze some people that the four of them actually entered such an awkward phase. Each of them was sporting braces. Serena's had pretty multi colored bands, Nate's were of course blue since the ocean was his obsession at that time, Chuck's alternated black and red, his favorite colors, while Blair's alternated pink and green, she was most definitely in her Coco Chanel phase. Even then, it was odd to see them look so much like normal little middle schoolers. They were probably in six or seventh grade in this picture and if Blair remembered correctly this was the day that they had all watched the Breakfast Club together and she had started calling them "The Non-Judging Breakfast Club." This picture was one where they were all piled on her bed, squeezing into the picture.

_"Nate stop it, stop tickling me!" Blair exclaimed giggling as Nate rolled on top of her.  
_

_Serena looked at the two puzzled. She wasn't entirely sure what had happened. They had returned from summer break not that long ago and things had been so different. Blair and Nate were so different. It was like two of her best friends now preferred the company of each other rather than her. Nate was getting so into sports and Blair, always the overachiever was running for every office on the middle school campus. And Chuck, Chuck was distant to say the least. Rumor has it that he had been kissing Georgina Sparks in the locker room at school two weeks ago, Elle Pierson (a ninth grader) in the halls of Constance last week, and BOTH Kati and Is in the janitor's closet this week. This was extreme, Serena had kissed a boy or two but she doubted Blair or Nate had ever kissed anyone, which was the case with most kids their age, not to mention he had been acting out even more than usual. Half the time he didn't even show up to school. Serena just wanted to dance and have fun yet it seemed like her friends were out growing her. She forced a smile on her face and giggled before jumping in on the tickle fight. _

_After a moment of the tickling nonsense and avid flirting with Nate, Blair looked up and unexpectedly locked eyes with Chuck. She stopped the tickling and sat up. "What's wrong?" She mouthed as Nate and Serena continued going at it. _

_"Nothing." Chuck said looking away. _

_Blair moved to where he was on the edge of the bed and took a long look at Chuck. "Come on Chuck, I'm your best friend, even if Nate thinks otherwise, talk to me. Whatever it is that's bothering you, I promise I'll be here for you." Then she gestured towards the other two, who had finally noticed the change and were sitting up. "We all will be."_

_Nate and Serena both nodded and Nate spoke. "She's right man, we are always here."_

_"Like the Non-Judging Breakfast Club." Blair said with a smile. _

_"What?" The other three asked; seemingly in unison. _

_Blair rolled her eyes. "We're like the kids in the movie, Nate you are the perfect golden boy, and an amazing athlete. Serena you're the popular one, the social butterfly, without even trying. Chuck you're the bad boy," Chuck smirked at this and Blair continued, "you're always getting into trouble. And I am the perfectionist, the overachiever. You see, we are all so different, yet we are still the best of friends; but unlike the kids in the movie we don't judge." _

_No one had to say anything else, Blair really had summed it all up and Chuck turned to face them. "My mom died giving birth to me. My birthday's tomorrow and it's . . . It's really hard." _

_They all gasped. Everyone knew that Chuck's mother wasn't around. Blair knew that she had died but not how and suddenly she was overwhelmed with sadness for Chuck. Blair reached out and wrapped her arms around him before she had even thought about it.  
_

_At first, Chuck was stiff, as though he wasn't sure how to react. But eventually he loosened and let Blair hold him. _

_Nate wasn't sure what to do so after a few awkward moments he turned on Blair's stereo. Surprisingly, the first song that came on was Don't You (Forget About Me). The song seemed to break the ice and they all started laughing. Suddenly Blair stood up and started dancing, Molly Ringwald style. Serena giggled and joined her. Pretty soon even the boys were dancing. As the song ended, they all collapsed on the bed in giggles and Serena grabbed the camera and started making pictures. _

Expecting it now, Blair flipped the photo and saw in Chuck's scrawl in the center, this time it simply said, _Thank You_ while the mysterious writing said, **The Non-Judging Breakfast Club is Born**. At that she felt a slight since of déjà vu but she shook it off.

Blair wasn't quite sure how to react when she saw the next picture. She knew quite well what night the picture had been taken, she just couldn't help but think about all of the people who had no idea what this picture actually represented to her.

_"Chuck please. I need your help" Blair said as she adjusted her headband in the mirror of Chuck's new suite. Chuck had to be the only eighth grader in the world to have an entire suite all to himself. _

_Chuck gritted his teeth and locked his jaw. He was not going to give in to her. "I already told you no Blair."_

_Blair turned to face him and softened her eyes in a way that made every boy or man she had ever met want to give her the world on a silver platter._

_"Damn it Blair." Chuck cursed looking away. "Why do you have to do that?" Either Blair was the cruelest girl in the world or she was the most naive. On one level he hoped it was naivety that prompted her to ask him to kiss her. Perhaps she thought that since he had kissed so many girls that kissing her would be nothing remarkable; perhaps she had no idea it was because of her that he ran around with all those other girls. But for him she was quicksand; she had this irresistible draw to her and he couldn't seem to stay interested in any other girl for longer than ten minutes. He always just compared them to her. However, on some level he wanted it to be cruelty in her that had brought her here. The part of him that wanted her to know how much this was going to destroy him; that was the masochist in him._

_"Because I need your help." Blair said sweetly, taking a seat on the bed next to Chuck. He didn't move away and she placed a hand on his thigh, rubbing it up and down. "Serena says that Nate is going to kiss me tonight at the Kiss on the Lips party. He wants our first kiss to be special and what could be more special than our first Kiss on the Lips Party, right?" After a pause she continued. "So, I need to be good. You have experience, plus you're my best friend, so who better to teach me?"  
_

_Chuck breathed in a ragged breath. "Why do you want me to do this Blair? You are Nathaniel's girlfriend and I can't even imagine how angry he would be if he knew what you were asking me right now." With that he took her hand and removed it from his thigh.  
_

_Suddenly, Blair looked as though she was about to cry. Her eyes began to water and her lips began to tremble as she said quietly. "What if I'm not good at it and he breaks up with me?"_

_When the first tear fell, Chuck knew he wasn't going to be able to resist giving in to her. "Okay, okay, don't cry I'll show you." Chuck said in a tone that most never heard him use, but then again most people weren't Blair Waldorf. _

_Blair's eyes lit up and the tears immediately stopped. "Really?"_

_Chuck nodded and regardless of what this was going to do to him and to Nate if Nate ever found out, he couldn't help but be happy when Blair looked so excited. "It's not difficult." Chuck said leaning towards her a little bit and cupping her face; if he was going to do this he was going to really do it. As he moved closer he allowed his hand to slide back into her hair. "Just hold still."_

_"Wait!" Blair said suddenly. "What do I do, like with . . . my mouth?" _

_Chuck smirked, his face about six inches from hers. "You'll know." _

_With that he closed the distance until his lips were only a few inches away from hers. "I'm going to kiss you now."_

_"Okay." Blair breathed. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, almost like the wings of a butterfly. _

_Chuck's lips brushed hers as he spoke, "You sure?" _

_"Yes." Blair, moved her lips to form the words but didn't speak and Chuck pressed his lips to hers._

_As Chuck began kissing her Blair's lips remained immobile. But eventually as he continued her mouth started to loosen. He took the lead and allowed his tongue to slide out of his mouth and into hers. He pulled back slightly and continued moving his lips. Chuck couldn't deny that there was a stirring in his gut that was driving him forward even though he knew that they should stop and she should leave. He pulled his mouth away to give Blair the option to quit; but he left his forehead resting against hers. Blair took him off guard when she closed the gap and started kissing him._

_Blair had been nervous at first but after a minute or so of Chuck kissing her she wanted to give it a try herself. So when Chuck paused she went back in. She could tell that she had surprised him but he caught on quickly and allowed her to lead. Blair was curious and after allowing her tongue to explore his mouth she pulled back. Resting her forehead against his, just like he had done to her. "How was that?" She asked, breathless. _

_"You're a fast learner." Said Chuck, panting. From what he could tell, Blair didn't need teaching in the first place. She was a natural. Chuck knew he shouldn't but he couldn't resist asking her, "Want to play a little game of Simon Says?"_

_Blair arched her eyebrow inquisitively. "I'm not sure I understand."_

_"It's simple" Chuck said with a smirk. "I do something to you, then you do it back. It's basically what we just did." _

_Blair bit her swollen lip and thought for a minute. Kissing Chuck had been nice and he was certainly a good teacher but maybe it had all gone far enough. She loved Nate, she always had. But as Chuck looked at her questioningly, she couldn't help but nod her head. She wanted to really wow Nate later and if Chuck was willing to keep teaching her, she would take what she could get.  
_

_With Blair's consent Chuck moved to lean her back on the bed and began to kiss her again. This time he moved a little more, adjusting his mouth more often. He began sucking on her lip and nibbled slightly before moving back inside her mouth. After a moment, he allowed Blair to take over and do the same thing. He couldn't help but groan as she bit his lip a little too hard._

_Blair popped back suddenly, "Did I do something wrong?"  
_

_Chuck reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Not so hard. Try again." _

_Blair leaned back down and started kissing Chuck again, this time when she played with his lip, she was more careful. "How was that? She asked slowly pulling away._

_"Perfect." Chuck said with a smirk. "Now, mouth's aren't the only place that you can kiss . . . " Chuck said, leaving the statement hanging as he moved back in. This time he only stayed at her mouth for a moment before moving his kisses to her jaw line and then, down her neck to her collar bone. Once there, he began to gently kiss and suck; not thinking about the mark that it would leave. _

_Blair pulled his head back to hers and took over. Mimicking the movements he had just made. After a moment Chuck said his breath rather ragged. "Do you want to try it all together?"  
_

_Blair pulled away and nodded and Chuck kissed her once more. They alternated leading and allowed things to flow. Her hands wove their way into his hair and he traced lines up and down her spine as they kissed. Chuck recognized the signs of a hard-on even though he knew Blair didn't so he gently broke away and whispered. "I think that's probably enough teaching."_

_Blair nodded. Her eyes looked surprised, as though she had forgotten what she was doing and with whom she was doing it. She looked over at the clock and saw that she had less than three hours to get ready before Nate was picking her up at her house and quickly got up. As she straightened her clothes and Chuck sat up on the bed, she thought it best to make a polite, yet expedient exit. "Thank you Chuck for . . . Uh . . . Teaching me." Blair said awkwardly._

_Chuck smirked. "You didn't need teaching Blair. You are naturally one of the best kissers I've kissed and well, that's saying a lot." _

_Blair smiled and blushed. "I'll see you tonight and thank you Chuck, really."  
_

Blair looked down at the picture in her hand. It was from later that night, at the Kiss on the Lips Party. The photo was of Serena, Chuck, Nate, and herself but what was funny was the clearly visible hickey. She had told everyone that she had burnt herself with the curling iron and they of course had believed her; except for Chuck that is. Later that night she remembered how Nate had kissed her. It had been everything she had imagined until she started comparing it to Chuck's kisses. Nate wasn't as fluid or as sure of himself as Chuck had been; but she remembered how in awe he had been after their first kiss. His first words were, "Wow, that was . . . amazing." That reaction from Nate had pleased her so much at that point but now it just made her laugh. Which she of course did as she looked at the back of the card. _A night for first kisses. I love the irony of the caption._ She could picture the look on Chuck's face as he had written that. She looked down at the other writing and shook her head. She was missing something she knew she was; she just wasn't sure what it was.** First Kiss on the Lips Party!**

Blair placed the last picture from the envelope into the album just as the bell rang to switch classes. As she walked out she nearly bumped into Serena. "S, what are you doing here? Your class is on the other side of the school."

Serena laughed. "I know. The things I will apparently do for you and my step brother." As she spoke she pulled another envelope out. "Here you go."

The first thing Blair did as she glanced at the pictures was flip the top one over. She didn't pay much attention to the photo itself, just the writing. "Who's handwriting is that?" She asked pointing at the writing in the lower right corner.

Serena looked at her like she had two heads. "Are you okay Blair?"

Blair gave her the look right back. "Um, yeah, but I would be better if you would tell me who's handwriting that is."

At that Serena burst out laughing. Blair continued glaring so Serena tried to control her laughter enough to talk. "Blair, it's your handwriting."

Blair raised her eyebrows as though to suggest that Serena was the crazy one. "No it's not Serena. I think I would know my own handwriting."

Serena cocked one of her eyebrows. "I meant, it's your handwriting before."

"Before what?" Blair asked as they walked.

"Before high school. Remember the summer after eighth grade your mother sent you to that Etiquette camp and they said that ladies do not write in print; only cursive." Serena said still trying to hold back laughter at the fact that Blair didn't recognize her own handwriting.

"Oh. My. God." Blair said enunciating every word. "How did I not recognize my own handwriting?"

Serena just shook her head. "I don't know B. Maybe you had other things on your mind. Things like Chuck?"

Blair swatted her on the arm and hurried off to her first class making it just as the bell rang.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Chuck took a deep breath. He was as ready for this as he would ever be. As he stepped into the board room there were very few surprised faces. Most of the board knew what was going on.

"Chuck, what are you doing here?" Asked Mr. Fleming from his spot at the right hand of the empty CEO seat.

Chuck straightened his bowtie and stepped forward. "Ah, Mr. Fleming, you see I called this meeting . . . "

Mr. Fleming interrupted. "YOU are the one who called this meaning?" By this point he had stood up.

Chuck maintained his composure; knowing that it was important to not let them see him lose it. "Yes according to the company bylaws, I have the right to challenge any decision made by the board and ask for a revote on any previously voted on clause so long as my motion is seconded. So if you would take your seat, we have business to attend to." Mr. Fleming grumbled as he sat down. He liked things the way they were. With Jack running the company, he got all the perks of a right hand man; Chuck however, was unpredictable. "Now, I motion for a revote on the decision as to who is the acting CEO of Bass Enterprises."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: I know it took forever but I hope you all enjoyed this super long chapter :) Reviews are always appreciated.


	9. Thursdays, Memories, and Meetings Pt II

**A/N: I made a few changes to the last chapter (nothing major, just a few minor ones) but you might want to check it out. Also, I would just really really like to thank all of you who take the time to review this story. I might get 50 story alerts accompanied by only one or two reviews so I just wanted to give a special shoutout to those of you who take the time to review. I love you guys and you are totally the reason that I keep writing. **

** xoxo Kate**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

* * *

Blair was still reeling from the fact that she hadn't recognized her own handwriting but it made since now, she would have written stuff like that. As she thought about it, Blair realized there were a lot of things that she didn't remember about middle school. So much had changed in eighth grade. She and Nate had become serious and she had grown apart from her other friends. As she looked at the next picture, Blair couldn't help but miss the way things use to be with her and Chuck.

_Blair stormed into Chuck's suite so angry she could barely see. That of course might have been in part because of the tears that were clouding her vision. "Chuck, we have to take down Gretchen Fairchild. I'm talking major social annihilation!"  
_

_"Merry Christmas to you to Waldorf." Chuck said with a smirk._

_Blair stood there furious. "Christmas tomorrow is not going to be very merry for anyone if someone doesn't help me do something about that little twit." _

_Chuck sat up from the position in which he was lounging on the couch, he could tell that Blair was in full vengeance mode and he knew better than to try to dissuade her. "Okay, okay, sit down and tell me what the poor unfortunate girl did."  
_

_"POOR. UNFORTUNATE. GIRL. Chuck, how dare you speak sympathetically about her when I am clearly livid at her." Blair said angrily._

_"Calm down Waldorf, I simply meant that the girl is poor and unfortunate to have incurred your wrath. Would you like some scotch? It will help calm your nerves." Chuck said as he swirled the caramel colored liquid in his glass._

_  
Blair turned up her nose a little, she had of course had wine and champagne and occasionally a martini or a mimosa at a party but hard liquor was something entirely different. What the hell, her night couldn't get worse, right? "Okay Bass."_

_Chuck raised his eyebrows. He definitely hadn't expected her to take him up on the glass of scotch but if any girl would do it, it was certainly Blair. He stood and poured her a glass. He considered pouring a little bit of bottled water into it as a dilutant but it was a smoother scotch so he thought she could take it straight."Sip it, don't gulp. Now tell me what the girl has done to deserve social annihilation." _

_Blair swirled the liquid as she had seen Chuck do before tentatively taking a sip. She was surprised by the smoky taste but wasn't a big fan of the bite. She tried her best not to flinch at the slight burn. So this was hard liquor. After another sip she spoke, "That girl had the audacity to show up at my Christmas Ball last night without an invitation. She was all over Nate, then she proceeded to spill fruit punch all down my winter white dress, ruining it. She did it on purpose. I know that she has always had her eye on Nate and it's high time she learned her place." _

_Chuck watched Blair impressed as she drank the scotch without more than a minor flinch, he didn't take scotch that well his first time. In fact, it takes most people experience with hard liquor before they begin to take a shinning to scotch and years after that before they begin to enjoy the taste. "What do you have in mind for Miss. Fairchild?" _

_Blair smirked and took another sip of scotch. "I was hoping you could help me out with that. We always do our best scheming together."_

_"That we do, that we do." Chuck said with a nod of his head._

The picture had been taken when she and Chuck had arrived at the Van der Woodsen's Christmas Eve dinner together later that evening, ready to set in motion their plan against Gretchen. For the life of her, she couldn't even remember what they had done to the girl but they certainly did knock her off the social ladder completely. She laughed when she saw the caption Chuck had written. _I'd scheme and plot with you any day of the year, Waldorf. _On this photo she had simply written **Christmas 2004. **

The next photograph instantly made her sad. It was one of just her and Chuck the day after they had graduated middle school. Serena had held a huge bash that night to kick off the summer in the Hamptons. This was a photograph she had taken of herself and Chuck in the back of his limo on the way there; but she knew without looking that her hand writing wouldn't be on the back.

_"Thanks for the lift."Blair said grinning. There was still about an hour before they reached the Hamptons. Chuck was going to drop her off at Serena's before heading on to his own summer home and joining them at the party that evening. Nate was unfortunately going to miss it because he was on a sailing trip with his grandfather. _

_Chuck looked over at her. "Please, like I would let you ride the jitney all the way out here. That thing is beyond disgusting, I don't understand how Serena, Kati, and Iz are doing it."_

_Blair smiled. "I know. You totally saved me when you stopped and offered me a ride at the jitney stop. The other girls are probably angry at me for abandoning them though." _

_Chuck rolled his eyes. "Hey, I offered the limo to them as well, they can't complain."_

_"I know, I know" Blair continued. "They wanted the 'real' Hamptons experience." _

_Chuck got out two glasses and a bottle of scotch. "What do you say we toast to being above the 'real' Hamptons experience?"_

_Blair smirked. "I'd say, hand me a glass." _

_Thirty minutes later they were both dissolving in fits of giggles as they had consumed quite a bit of scotch. "You know it's a shame Nate couldn't make it." Blair said leaning back in her seat. _

_Chuck let his head fall back against his head rest and he closed his eyes. For the past half hour or so he had been able to pretend that Blair wasn't Nathaniel's girlfriend, something that he shouldn't be doing. "Yes, well I'm sure Nathaniel is enjoying his sailing expedition."_

_"I know." Blair said with a frown. "I'm just really going to miss him. We've never been apart for this long before. He's going to be gone a whole two months." _

_Chuck looked over at Blair. "You'll survive."_

_Blair was taken aback. Chuck didn't usually use that tone of voice with her; with other people sure, but never with her. "Well you don't have to be a jerk about it."_

_Chuck rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm so sorry I'm not as much of a gentleman as Nathaniel. It's such a shame he couldn't be here instead."_

_Blair narrowed her eyes. They never fought, ever, and when they did it was generally about the best way to destroy someone. But Nate, Nate was something they never fought about. She was with Nate, Nate was Chuck's best guy friend, and Chuck was her best guy friend. There was nothing to argue about. "Nate is a gentleman and I do wish he could be here instead. Nate really is the perfect boyfriend you know." Blair smiled forgetting that they had been arguing and getting lost in thoughts of Nate. "Being his girlfriend is everything I always thought it would be."_

_Chuck turned his head. They were starting high school soon and things were going to have to change. He couldn't keep this up; listening to Blair talk about Nate like he was some kind of Prince Charming hurt more than he was willing to admit and that's all she talked about anymore. "Good for you." _

_"Why aren't you happy for me Chuck?" Blair asked, sitting up._

_Chuck groaned. "I'm just tired of hearing about Nate. That's all you talk about anymore Blair; Nate, Nate, Nate."  
_

_Blair glared. "Well if you dislike my company so much why did you invite me to ride with you in the first place?"  
_

_"I invited you because I miss my best friend." Chuck roared, surprising her. "What happened to the Blair that used to want to scheme and plot, the girl who could talk to me for hours about everything and nothing? Now all you want to talk about is Nate, girl drama, and clothes."_

_Blair started shouting right back. "You know what happened Chuck? I fell in love. That's right, I love Nate. We always knew that I loved him but now I'm in love with him. He is everything I've ever wanted and I love him. So yeah I wanted to share that with my best friend, the person I've always shared everything with; so sue me."_

_"We are not best friends; not anymore. I don't even know you. You know, you've turned into exactly what everyone else always thought you were, a shallow spoiled princess." Chuck said, lashing out. _

_Blair listened in shock as Chuck told her exactly what he thought about her. "Since you think so highly of me, I know you'll understand when I say that after I get out of this car I don't want to see you again. I now see exactly what everyone else always said about you too. You are nothing more than an arrogant, perverted, Basshole; a complete disappointment to everyone who tries to believe in him." _

_Chuck always had to have the final word and so he said the thing that would hurt the most. "I'm a disappointment. Please. You're the disappointment; to Eleanor and Nate. But I mean, it's so easy with Serena around isn't it? They always know exactly what they are missing out on by being with you."_

_Blair sat there shocked so Chuck simply inclined his head before turning towards the window. After a few moments Blair did the same. _

Chuck had dropped her off that day without a word and they didn't speak at Serena's party; honestly, she didn't even remember seeing him there. As rare as their fights were, one of them always called later the same night and apologized because they couldn't stay mad at each other; he didn't call that night and neither did she. They didn't speak for the rest of the summer and in all actuality they rarely spoke their entire freshman year. Both of them had said things to each other that could never be taken back and worse than that they had said the things that they knew would hurt the most. And they were both too stubborn to be the first to give in. Blair flipped over the photo and saw Chuck's hand writing twice. In the center it said, _I never told you how sorry I was for what I said that day. _Then at the bottom, _The Day I Lost My Best Friend._

Blair couldn't stop the tear that slipped from her eye as she put both pictures in the album and tried to pay attention in class.

After first period Serena walked up and handed her another set of photos. At first Blair didn't look at them. The last one had made her so sad that she couldn't and she knew what some of the next pictures would be of.

"Aren't you going to look B?" Serena asked excited.

Blair shrugged her shoulders. "I'll look at them in my next class."

Serena smiled. "Come on B! I want to see what you think of them."

Blair rolled her eyes but smiled and was about to look at the photos when the bell rang.

"Ugh." Serena groaned. "Sorry B, gotta run."

As Blair walked in to her calculus class and took her seat, the first thing she did was start looking at the pictures. The first one instantly made her frown. It was a picture of the four of them; Chuck, Blair, Serena, and Nate, at the Sheppard Wedding. There was about a year and a half separating this photo from the last one and Blair realized that this probably had a lot to do with the fact that other than recognizing that the other existed; Blair and Chuck had rarely interacted at all when in each other's presence. He became the snarky playboy everyone had always thought he was and she the bitchy ice princess she was supposed to be. Of course, she was also the perfect girlfriend. When Nate had finally arrived in the Hamptons that summer she had told him she loved him and given him her pin. Things between them were ideal until this photograph; not that she had any idea that something was wrong for another six months. That's when Blair realized that the night of the wedding was probably the first time she and Chuck had spoken to each other alone since their fight immediately after eighth grade.

_"Bass." Blair said as she walked over to where Chuck was standing alone. She didn't know where Serena and Nate were but she was Blair Waldorf and she didn't just stand around by herself. So she went to the only other person in the room that was her age, even if she did despise him. _

_"Waldorf, what can I do for you this lovely evening?" Chuck said tilting his head in acknowledgement. It was beyond rare for Blair Waldorf to approach him. It seemed to be a consensus between the two that regardless of the fact that they had known each other their whole lives, they were going to act simply as acquaintances. For him it made things so much simpler. _

_Blair took a sip of her drink. "Well, I don't know where Serena and Nate are and . . . " _

_"You were wondering if I would find them for you?" Chuck finished her sentence._

_Blair smiled. "That is exactly what I was hoping you would offer."_

_Chuck rolled his eyes. "Okay Waldorf, but only because I'm bored." _

That was all that was said but it began a new era of sorts for them; it broke the ice. Of course, Blair knew now that Chuck had seen Serena and Nate that night but she also knew that speaking to him then had gone a long way in making them friends again. Thinking back made Blair realize that part of their friendship was still lost and most likely it always would be; however, there was at least something to build upon. She flipped over the photo to yet again see only his hand writing. In the center Chuck had written_ How I went more than a year without you in my life is something I will never understand. _and at the bottom he had simply written _The Sheppard Wedding_.

Looking at the next picture made her so sad she wasn't sure what to do. It was a photo of her and her father and she knew exactly when it was made because the airport was in the background.

_Chuck groaned as he heard knocking at the door. He nudged the blonde who was in the process of removing his pants off of him, as he called out. "Who is it?" _

_Blair had been knocking frantically on the door to Chuck Bass's suite. She was perfectly aware of what she was probably interrupting but she really didn't care. When she heard Chuck ask who was at the door, she didn't hesitate to answer. "Chuck, it's me Blair. Please open the door." _

_The girl hadn't really stopped trying to remove his pants so at the sound of Blair's voice he muttered. "Get up and put your clothes back on."_

_"But we were just getting started." The girl said, putting on her best sexy face. _

_Chuck tossed the blonde girl's clothes at her. "Tasha, get dressed and go." Then loudly enough that Blair could hear, "I'll be right there, give me one minute." _

_"My name is Tamara." The girl hissed as she pulled her dress over her head._

_Chuck glared but Tamara did as he said and walked towards the door. When she opened it she shot Blair a look that clearly let her know how she felt about being dismissed for her. _

_"Come in Waldorf." Chuck called as he pulled his shirt over his head. He didn't know why Blair was here. To his knowledge she hadn't been in his suite in two years, unless it was for a party. He checked outside, it was still daylight, what was she doing her? As he stepped out of his bedroom into the living room he spoke "What can I do for you Waldorf? I'm all up and ready to go since you just sent my afternoon appointment . . . " but trailed off as he saw her. Blair looked like complete hell. His snarky sarcasm faded to concern faster than he had sent that girl running when he heard Blair at the door."Sit down; I'll get you a drink."_

_As Chuck turned to go to the bar, Blair reached out and caught his arm. "No, I . . . I . . . I just need someone to talk to."_

_Chuck looked at Blair. He looked at her in a way that he looked at very few people; as though he was really looking at her, not who everyone else saw when they looked at her. He didn't look at the perfect soon to be queen of Constance; he looked at Blair Waldorf the girl. "Okay."_

_Blair shuddered after a few minutes under Chuck's intense gaze before nodding her head slightly as though they had come to some sort of an agreement. Like maybe he had looked inside her, saw that she needed him, and now they were agreeing to put the past in the past. So as they reached this hypothetical agreement she spoke softly, "Okay" Before allowing Chuck to lead her to the couch. _

_As they sat, Chuck pulled a handkerchief from his suit pocket and handed it to her. "What happened Blair, what's wrong?"  
_

_Blair who had still been holding his gaze suddenly looked away. She looked at the table, towards the bar, out the window, down at the ruby ring that had been a gift from Nate; anywhere but at Chuck. While she was still looking down at her hands, one of them twisting the ruby ring on the other, she spoke. "My dad left my mom . . . for another man." As she finished her statement she looked up at Chuck's eyes which were now wide with surprise. "My dad is moving to France with Roman; his plane leaves in a couple of hours. This has been going on for months now and I had no clue." Tears were starting to form at the corners of her eyes and her voice was beginning to shake._

_Chuck reached out and brushed a tear that had escaped with his thumb. "I'm so sorry." He knew that was all she needed him to say. _

_Blair bit her lip trying to stop the tears from falling because she knew that if she started she wouldn't be able to stop; not for a long time. "I'm sick Chuck." _

_The words made his heart plummet as they left her mouth. His first thought was that she had cancer like the girl in that Mandy Moore movie; that she was dying like his mother. _

_She tentatively continued. "I'm making myself sick. I . . . I thought that I was better, that I was okay but I'm not."_

_Chuck suddenly grew inexplicably angry. Blair was making herself ill; why on earth would she do that? As his nostrils flared and he worked to control his voice, Chuck spoke measured words. "How long has this been going on Blair?" _

_Her chin was trembling with the effort that it took to keep the tears from falling. "Since the summer after eighth grade."_

_'Shit' thought Chuck. That was nearly two years. Chuck said the only word he could manage to choke out; which was probably added by the fact that it was the only word he could think. "Why?" _

_Blair was starting to shake all over; but she answered his question. "Mom always loved Serena more; wished that I was more like her. She never thought that I was as pretty as Serena and she was always telling me that I needed to watch my weight." _

_As Blair spoke Chuck's hands balled into fists. He could kill Eleanor Waldorf for making Blair think that she was anything less than perfect. At the same time, he felt the first pangs of guilt. She had said the summer after eighth grade and he had perpetuated some of those very ideas that day in the limo when he had virtually ended their friendship. _

_Blair continued. "And I'm not stupid, I see the way that Nate looks at Serena. She outshines me, she can't help it."_

_Once more, Chuck's fists tightened but this time it was Nate he wanted to punch. Nate was stupid for thinking Serena was nearly as pretty as Blair. However, inside of him there was another little stab of guilt; guilt because he knew what Nate and Serena had done at the Sheppard Wedding, he had seen them. _

_"That plus everyone keeps leaving me. My Dad's leaving for France and Serena, Serena left without so much as goodbye. My mom must be right, if I was pretty enough they wouldn't leave, if I was worthy of being loved they would stay." Blair said as the tears finally began to pour down her checks. _

_Blair wasn't here because she needed him to say all kinds of clichés. She didn't come so that he could tell her that everything was going to be okay when there was a damn good chance that everything wasn't going to be okay. She simply needed to know that she wasn't in this alone. So Chuck reached out and pulled her to him. "I'm here." Chuck ran his fingers through her hair as he held her to him and let her cry, not caring that her mascara was ruining his shirt. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."_

_At first Chuck couldn't tell what Blair was saying, only that she was trying to speak to him. "What did you say?"_

_Blair pulled back slightly; just far enough that Chuck could hear her. "Promise me. Promise me that you aren't going anywhere, that you won't leave."_

_Chuck pulled her back to him. "I promise Blair. No matter what, I'm not going anywhere. You will always have me."_

_After holding her for what could have been hours but was really only about thirty minutes, Chuck glanced at his watch. "What time did you say your dad's flight was leaving Blair?"_

_Blair used his handkerchief to wipe her tears. "Seven pm."_

_Chuck tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're not saying goodbye?"_

_Blair shook her head. "No. I'm too angry to face him right now." _

_"Get up." Chuck said standing abruptly. _

_"What?" Blair said, staring at him dumbstruck._

_"Get up." Chuck repeated taking her hand. This time she complied and Chuck called his driver to bring his car around. They were on the street corner about to step into Chuck's limo before Blair managed to get Chuck to tell her where it was they were going. "The airport."_

_Blair immediately turned around and headed back towards the Palace. "No way Chuck, no way."_

_Chuck ran around and blocked her path. "Blair we don't have time for this; get in the limo."_

_She shook her head. "I already told you; I refuse to say goodbye to that man."_

_"That man is your father Blair and you adore him." Chuck said, placing his hands on her upper arms to keep her from running. _

_Blair surprised him by shouting. "My father is abandoning me Chuck! HE is abandoning ME. Therefore, I don't have to say goodbye if I don't want to." She finished stubbornly._

_Chuck took only a second to collect his thoughts. "You're right Blair, It's completely your decision as to whether or not you are going to say goodbye. But if you don't, if you let him leave without hugging him; you are going to wish you had every day until you see him again. Trust me, I know what it's like to have parents that you can't see or hug."  
_

_Chuck heard Blair's sharp intake of breath before she spoke. "Get in."_

They had made it to the airport just in time to catch her dad and she had hugged him as tightly as she could. Harold had insisted on a photo being taken and made Chuck promise to email it to him. Now Blair flipped the photo over, almost not wanting to see what Chuck had said; but she of course looked. _The promise I made to you that day still stands. _Was written in the center, there was nothing in the bottom corner.

* * *

Mrs. Hamilton raised her hand. "I second the motion." Chuck grinned at her. "Now I believe we simply go around the circle and answer Yay or Nay. Mrs. Hamilton you're first."

Suddenly the door to the board room slammed open. "What in the hell is going on here?" Jack roared as the board room door smashed into the wall. "Who called this meeting without notifying me?"

"Well, Jack, we were just about to take a vote on the outcome of the morality clause. I honestly didn't think it was necessary for you to be here for that since after the vote, your involvement with the company will cease." Chuck said with an arrogant smirk.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "You've got that wrong nephew."

"Do I?" Chuck said raising his eyebrows. "I think that is for them to decide." Chuck added gesturing towards the members of the board.

"That's fine by me. I highly doubt they've decided to reinstate an irresponsible high school student as CEO of Bass Enterprises, as they are all intelligent people." Jack said with a smirk. "Let the voting begin."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always appreciated. **


	10. Thursdays, Memories, and Meetings Pt III

**A/N: This update took way longer than it was suppose to but I had a minor injury falling down the stairs. I was stupid and put down my arm to catch myself and ended up spraining my wrist. It's feeling better BUT it makes typing take forever. **

**xoxo Kate.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

* * *

Blair was walking with Serena who was in her next class, their only class together, when she had an idea. "Wait, Serena why don't you just give me all of the photos now while we have time, so that you don't have to keep being late for class?"

Serena looked at Blair as though she was seriously contemplating the decision. "Chuck specified that they were to be given out periodically Blair?"

Blair shot her a glare and Serena continued.

"_But,_ I don't see the harm and giving you all of them now." Serena said with a grin.

Blair couldn't help but be excited. Chuck had done well with this gift. It meant a lot to her to be able to revisit all these memories and the fact that he had bothered to collect them all, spoke volumes.

Serena smiled. "Plus, if I give you all of them now, it means that I get to see them too."

Blair nodded. "Of course."

Serena reached into her locker and pulled out a small stack of photos. Blair couldn't help but be a little surprised at the sheer number of them. She hadn't expected that many more.

"Come on, let's get to class." Blair said as she took the photos. "I can't wait to see the rest of the pictures."

Serena smiled. Blair looked happy for the first time in so long and she felt like she could finally relax. It seemed that helping Chuck win her over was definitely the right thing to do for her best friend. She hadn't seen her glow like this since the day they were suppose to leave for Tuscany.

Blair took her seat when they reached the classroom and started right in on the photos. She picked up the next photo cautiously. Chuck had lied about what he had written on the last photo. His promise that day was that she would always have him and she knew from experience that that wasn't true. As she saw the photo though, she laughed. She, Nate, and Chuck were sitting on the bed, each holding an Audrey movie and a croissant. She remembered clearly the day that that it had been taken, it was a Sunday fairly soon after the last photo.

_"Miss. Blair, guest here for you." Called Dorota. _

_Blair groaned and rolled over on her bed. She didn't want to see anyone today. It was hers and Serena's tradition; Audrey Hepburn movies and croissants on Sunday mornings. "Tell them to go away."_

_"But I don't want to." Chuck had said, appearing at the door holding a bag of croissants. "Did you think that I forgot my promise already?" Chuck asked with a smirk._

_Blair smiled. "Let me go get dressed. You know where I keep the Audrey."_

_Chuck nodded and started in the cabinet. He knew it was going to be a while before Blair was ready. Blair surprised him though and took only ten minutes. "That was quick." Chuck said gesturing toward her appearance._

_"I'd already had a shower, I just put back on pajamas and got back in bed because I wasn't planning on doing anything today." Blair said as she sat down on the bed. _

_"I just thought you woke up looking this good." Chuck said quietly. _

_Blair couldn't keep the blush from her cheeks. She hit his arm playfully. "Stop it. So what are we watching." _

_"How about Charade?" Chuck asked holding up the box of the DVD he had already inserted in the player._

_Blair practically shrieked. "Sounds perfect. I love Charade." _

_About twenty minutes into Charade, Blair heard Dorota again. "Miss. Blair, Mr. Nate for you."_

_Blair looked over at Chuck, "Pause it, I'll be right back."_

_Chuck did as she said and watched as she climbed off the bed and quickly straightened up in front of the mirror. She climbed down the stairs only to find Nate wearing her favorite sweater, the one she had sewn the pin into, holding a bag of croissants and a couple of movies. "Nate what are you doing here?" Blair asked as she reached the bottom._

_Nate smiled. "Sorry I'm late. I brought croissants and Audrey, though."_

_Blair laughed. "Come on upstairs. Chuck beat you here though."_

_Nate paused for a moment. "Chuck's here?"_

_Blair turned around and smiled at Nate. "Yes. It seems as though both of you are trying to take over for Serena."  
_

_Nate shrugged and continued up the stairs. "Hey man." He said among entering the room. _

_"Nathaniel, how nice of you to join us." Chuck said with a smile._

_"I'm going to go down stairs and help Dorota get some hot chocolate, I'll be right back." Blair said as she turned and left._

_Nate leaned over to Chuck. "So I get that this was hers and Serena's tradition but I was just wondering why she always wants to watch the same movies?"_

_Chuck rolled his eyes. "Don't ask her that man."_

_"Why not?" Nate asked._

_"Because I can already tell you the answer." Chuck said leaning back on the bed. "Blair likes knowing how things are going to turn out."_

_Nate laughed. "So you already asked her, huh?" _

_Chuck started shaking his head. "No, Nathaniel I just know Blair." He did know Blair, much better than Nate did. And apparently he cared about her a lot more too. How could Nate have slept with Serena, when he had Blair? It was something he would never understand. And as he knew Blair, he knew that she was going to be angry with him when she found out and learned that he knew._

_  
Nate looked at him skeptically as Blair walked back through the door with Dorota and hot chocolate._

_"Hey Blair," Nate called._

_"Mmhmm." She asked handing them both hot coco. _

_Nate looked over at Chuck before focusing on Blair. "Why do you want to watch movies that you've already seen."_

_Blair smiled. "That's easy, I like knowing how things end."_

The picture was adorable. She remembered making Dorota take it. That had been the last Sunday that Chuck had just shown up though because she asked him not to come again. With Serena gone she wanted that to be hers and Nate's thing. Chuck had been disappointed, she knew he missed her; but she needed something that could be just for her and Nate. She flipped the photo over, Chuck had written in the center, _I wish I could give you the ending you had planned. _At the bottom it said, back in her handwriting surprisingly**, **_**Sunday with the Boys 2007**_. Chuck must have gotten the photo from her house. It made since though. She was probably the only one with a copy.

Blair looked at the next photo and had to struggle to keep from frowning. It was this years Kiss on the Lips party. The day after she had found out about Serena. It was a photo of the whole group in the limo. But what she remembered about that evening was that she had gone to his apartment to be picked up by the limo and they had had a small fight before everyone else got there.

_"Nate slept with Serena." Blair said as Chuck opened the door to his suite. She was early on purpose. She needed someone to talk to and Chuck was the only option really, with both Nate and Serena being the problem._

_"I know." Chuck said, backing up to allow her in._

_Suddenly Blair's eyes went wide with surprise and fury. "You knew! You knew and you didn't tell me?" She asked walking into the suite._

_Chuck leaned against the back of the couch. He knew that this day would come eventually. "I didn't want to hurt you."_

_"So you kept in from me. My boyfriend lost his virginity to my best friend, when we were suppose to be waiting for the right moment and you knew." Blair asked, trying not to cry since she had already done her make up._

_"I'm sorry." Chuck said looking down. "I am, but now that you know, you can move on right? Maybe the breakup is for the better." _

_"We didn't break up Chuck." Blair said quietly._

_Chuck's head popped up. "WHAT! Nate cheated on you Blair. You can't just take him back."_

_"And you can't tell me what to do." Blair said sharply. "I love Nate and he's sorry for what he did. He and I are going to be just fine."_

_How could she take him back after this. This wasn't right. "Blair, come on. I know how you feel about Nate but the fairy tale's over."_

_"Damn it Chuck, just let me try to be happy okay." Blair said, before looking away._

_But she had taken too long before looking away and Chuck had seen the look in her eyes. "It happened again didn't it." He said quietly._

_"Yeah." Blair whispered, still looking to the side. _

_Chuck walked over and wrapped his arms around her. She needed Nate in her life. He was part of her plan and when things went wrong with her plan, she got sick. He held her until she started holding him back. "You're right Blair. He loves you and I'll do whatever I can to make sure that things between the two of you work out." It killed him to say that when he knew that Nate didn't even really know the meaning of the word love and he certainly didn't appreciate her like she deserved. But Nate was what she wanted; so Chuck was going to help her get that. _

_"Thanks Chuck." Blair said quietly as he held her._

Blair looked on the back of the photo. _I'm always going to want you to be happy Blair. _She noticed that it was another one of hers because it was her handwriting on the bottom _**Kiss on the Lips Party 2007. **_Chuck had done as he said he would that day. He did everything he could to help her with Nate. Providing them with his suite at the Brunch, helping her take down Serena, coming up with clues for Nate at the Masquerade and there were photos from each of these things; one of all of them arguing at the Brunch, another of her, Chuck, and Dr. Ostroff at the Ivy Week Mixer, and the last Chuck and Blair in their normal clothes but wearing each other's Masquerade masks.

_"Chuck I need help thinking of more clues." Blair whined laying on the bed. _

_Chuck glared at Blair. "Come on Blair, just have fun at the dance tonight with Nate and take the limo back for your special night." It killed Chuck to be helping to set this up once again but he knew that it was what Blair wanted._

_Blair narrowed her eyes, glaring right back. "I need this to be special Chuck, so please just help me."_

_Chuck rolled his eyes and exhaled."Okay, you said Kati and Is were wearing black and pink feathered head dresses right?" Blair nodded. "How about, 'Your lady-in-waiting is closer than you think. Her head dress is feathers of black and pink."_

_"Chuck that's brilliant." Blair said, smiling. _

_Chuck smirked. It was worth doing stuff like this to see her smile. "So what's your mask look like tonight?" Chuck asked._

_Blair pointed toward the side table and Chuck followed her gaze. He saw the intricate gold mask and picked it up, placing it over his own features. When Blair looked back up she laughed out loud. "And what are you tonight?" She asked through her laughter. _

_"The Devil of course." Chuck said, pulling his mask from behind his back and tossing it to her. She put it on and he had the same reaction she had had upon seeing her mask on him. He burst out laughing. "Dorota" He called. "We need you to take a photograph."_

_Blair rolled her eyes but he could tell she loved the thought of Dorota taking their picture. He laid next to her on the bed and gently bumped her shoulder. "Are you in the mood for repaying me now?"_

_Blair looked at him inquisitively "What are you talking about Chuck?_

_"Remember, I told you that you could repay me latter for my services in the Serena Spy Project. We are back in your bedroom you know." Chuck said with a smirk._

_"And you're still disgusting." Blair said hitting him, but she did it playfully. _

_"For you, always, Waldorf." Chuck said smiling._

Blair had a pretty good feeling about what was going to be written on the back of the photo and she flipped it over to find exactly what she though would be there. _I'd be disgusting with you anytime Waldorf_. And it was her handwriting again at the bottom,_** The Masquerade Ball 2007. **_Things between her and Chuck were different during that time. They weren't the same people they were when they were best friends; but they still knew each other better than anyone else.

She was surprised by the next picture though, she had thought that it would be one of her dancing at Victrola but it seemed to be taken a couple days before when she had come to see the club with Chuck. It wasn't posed so someone in the club must have snapped the shot of the two of them. She flipped the photo over. _I guess now you really are my toughest critic. _It was his handwriting at the bottom this time, _The Day I Bought Victrola - 11/14/07._

With Serena there, Blair was passing her the pictures when she finished and Serena was putting them in the album; so Blair was able to continue on to the next picture. This time she did get what she was expecting. It was a photo of her dancing on the stage at Victrola.

_Blair was watching the dancers on stage and drinking her champagne as though she was hypnotized by the music. Chuck was right, this was a place to escape._

_"I know you don't want to talk about what happened but . . ." Chuck started as he looked over at Blair. He had been worried that this day was going to come for some time. Sure Blair had said that she was at Victrola to escape and forget but he cared about her too much to leave her alone. _

_Blair didn't even let him finish. "Relief. I feel relief." She was surprised to find that the words she was saying were true. She was relieved to finally not have to worry about the state of hers and Nate's relationship. For the first time she could remember, she was actually single. She was still watching the dancers when she spoke again. "You know I've got moves."_

_Chuck sat up in his seat. Blair might be putting on a tough face but he knew how much she cared about Nate. It was his job to make sure that for tonight at least, she forgot that. "Really?" He said sitting up. "Then why don't you get up there?"_

_Blair laughed. "I'm just saying I have moves."_

_"Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls." Chuck said nudging her shoulder. He didn't think that she would do it, it was so un-Blair Waldorf-like, but he knew he would have succeeded in making her forget if she did. _

_"I know what you're doing Bass." She said immediately. She wasn't going to let him think, even for a second that she didn't know that he was just trying to make her forget about Nate. Then suddenly she realized that Chuck didn't think she was capable of going on stage; he had underestimated her. "You really don't think I'd go up there." _

_"I know you won't do it." He said with a smug smirk. This was Blair after all; no matter how much champagne they had had tonight, she wasn't going on stage._

_He really didn't think that she would do it! Well truthfully, the normal Blair Waldorf wouldn't; but tonight she didn't want to be that girl. So she said words no other girl would say to Chuck Bass. "Guard my drink." _

_Chuck couldn't keep the look of surprise off his face as he pointed the way to the stage before leaning back. This should be good. Knowing Blair, he figured she would go up there and do some kind of Audrey Hepburn like dance moves then come back; just enough to prove to him that she could do it.  
_

_As she ran up the stage, Blair decided she was going to really do this. She wanted to lose herself and she wanted to prove to Chuck that she could do more than move. So she started dancing and didn't even think about it as she slid the zipper down the side of her dress. _

_Chuck sat up as he saw her touch her zipper. She wouldn't. But then she did. He was in awe as he watched her dress fall to the ground. This wasn't the Blair that he had known for the past couple of years; this girl was carefree and sexy as hell, not that Blair wasn't always sexy, just never in this way. He stood as she continued dancing. Chuck couldn't keep his eyes off of her as she danced on the stage and he couldn't deny the strain that was beginning in his pants. _

_Blair knew that she had surprised Chuck. She could see the stunned expression on his face amidst all the other faces of people she didn't know. _

_  
When he told the drag queen that he didn't know the girl on stage, he wasn't lying. That certainly wasn't the Blair he knew. He took a sip of champagne before toasting her. He had always respected her, something that he felt for few other women, but now, now he was in awe of her. _

_Blair couldn't help but smile as Chuck toasted her. She had won the little game. She ran off the stage right after the song finished and straight to where he was standing._

_"You ready to go home?" He asked, still awestruck._

_Blair couldn't stop smiling. "Let me finish my glass of champagne then I'm ready."_

_Chuck nodded and Blair downed her glass. "Okay, I'm good."_

_Chuck smiled and held out his arm. "May I escort you to the limo."_

_"Certainly." She said taking his arm and smiling again. _

_Once they were in the limo, she looked over at him. "Thanks for the lift home."_

_"You were amazing out there." There, he'd said it. The words had been on the tip of his tongue since she had gotten off the stage. She had been incredible and she should know it. _

_She couldn't deny the tingles up here spine as Chuck spoke. The way he looked at her made her stomach turn in a good way; like the first drop on a rollercoaster. No one had ever looked at her like that before; especially not Nate. It made her feel wanted and desired. She looked down at his lips and wondered what it would be like to be kissed by someone who really and truly wanted her. So she looked back up into Chuck's eyes and moved her body closer to his, until her shoulder was touching his. She began leaning in and reached for his hand. _

_Chuck couldn't believe what Blair was doing, moving towards him. Her eyes were telling him what she wanted and as she leaned towards him, he met her. They kissed but as she turned her body towards him he immediately pulled away. This was Blair, the girl who had been his best friend, the woman he respected and yes he wanted her. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted any woman; he wanted her in a way that he had never wanted any woman. So he asked a question he had never asked anyone before. "You sure?"_

_When she heard Chuck speak, she felt a tug on her heart. To her knowledge he had never asked a girl if she was sure before. She made in a split second decision that she knew would change everything. She wanted to make love to someone who really wanted her. So to answer him she squeezed his hand and kissed him. _

_When she kissed him, it felt like one thousand explosions occurred inside his body. She wrapped her arm around his neck and moved on top of him. Her other hand coming up towards his face. Chuck now over the surprise of her second kiss, began to deepen their kiss, reaching up and grabbing her hand. Blair quit thinking completely and just went with it because it felt so good to be desired and damn it she had forgotten how good a kisser he was. _

_  
Chuck ran his hands over her body as her hands ran through his hair. God she felt good he thought as he pulled her into him; pressing his body tightly against hers. He flipped her over as he continued exploring her mouth with his tongue and her body with his hands. He had wanted this for so long and he was going to make it incredible for her. He brought down her straps of her slip, further exposing her shoulders and neck, his weakness. _

_She had never wanted anything this badly in her life. As Chuck began helping her out of her slip, she pushed off his jacket. He kept up his effort to remove her slip as she undid his bowtie and tugged at his shirt. He simply reached up and yanked at it, snapping off the buttons before returning his attentions to her. _

_Chuck was careful with her in a way he had never been careful before. Constantly checking to make sure that she was okay and being damn sure he had on a condom before getting near here. _

_It had hurt a little when he entered her as she knew it would, but Chuck made her forget about the pain in seconds. He was attentive in the extreme and by the time they had finished she was exhausted. _

_Chuck had let the limo driver know what was up when he was getting his condom. He told him to sick around the Upper East Side until he told him otherwise so that they had plenty of time. As they finished Chuck did something he had never really done before and held her. He stroked her hair and kissed her temple as she fell asleep in his arms. After letting the driver know to head to her house. He gently pulled her slip over her head and was surprised when he didn't wake her. Getting his clothes on was even more of a challenge but he managed. In fact Blair didn't wake up until they were in the elevator. She clutched tightly to his chest as he continued up to her room; nodding at Dorota on the way. He laid her down in her bed and kissed her forehead before turning to leave. _

_"Thank you for tonight." Blair said quietly. _

_Chuck turned and smiled; but said nothing. He hoped she still felt that way in the morning. _

Blair couldn't help but smile. As far as first times go, her's was just as special as she had hoped it would be; even if she didn't think so immediately. She flipped the picture, having no idea what Chuck could possibly write and apparently neither did he. _There aren't words to express what happened that night. _That was all that was written on the photo.

She looked down at the next photo. It was of her and Chuck on the balcony at her 17th birthday party the following night. They were smiling, so someone must have come up and snapped it. Chuck had somehow managed to make that night less than awful, even though it was what she thought she wanted at the time. That whole day had been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. She remembered that crazy conversation with Chuck outside of the Cathedral.

_Blair was glad she was wearing sunglasses as she saw Chuck's limo pull up. The last thing she wanted right then was for him to see her surprise at seeing him there. _

_"Now this is the last place I'd expect to find you." Chuck said through the window of his limo as it pulled up next to Blair. He had stopped by her house this morning to ask her to breakfast but she had already left. It was Dorota who had told him that she had gone to Confession. He had no clue why, Blair wasn't even catholic. _

_"Go away Chuck. I've been given orders practically from God himself to avoid you." She said taking off her sunglass so that Chuck could see that she was serious. She was determined to fix this situation and that required Chuck to be Chuck and treat her like he treated all girls. _

_Chuck smirked. "Well would you consider avoiding me over breakfast?" He hadn't been able to sleep all night because he was thinking of her. He should have known, as much as he always cared about her that this would change things. Damn it, he was effing Chuck Bass; he wasn't suppose to feel this way. He wasn't suppose to want to take girls out to breakfast the morning after. But this was Blair Waldorf and that made things different._

_Blair couldn't believe this. Chuck was suppose to be ignoring her and pretending like the had never slept together. Why couldn't he just think of her like every other girl. "Sorry but as is tradition on the day before my birthday, I'm going to the jeweler to put some pieces on hold for Eleanor and . . ."_

_"Nate." Chuck said interrupting. He couldn't believe this. After last night, she still wanted Nate to be her perfect Prince Charming. He was angry, so he started pushing Blair's buttons. "Oh, I don't think he'll be singing happy birthday this year." _

_She glared at him. "No one knows that Nate and I broke up and it's going to stay that way so that I can fix this." She said with authority before continuing with something that would have to convince Chuck to keep things quiet. "And I don't think your best friend would still be your best friend if he knew."_

_"If he knew how much I enjoyed the removal of a certain chastity belt in the back of this very limo." Chuck said immediately. If Blair wanted to play games, game on. She could pretend to be obsessed with Nate all she wanted but he wasn't going to let her forget what they had done. _

_No, she was putting a stop to this. She was not going to let Chuck continue with his little game. This wasn't a game to her. Nate was her future. So she stopped walking forward and instead took a couple of steps towards the car. "From this moment forward, the events of last night will never be mentioned again. Is that clear?" _

_Blair was all too easy to goad. She had nothing on him; while he had everything on her. "Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear, which I have been replaying over and over."_

_She looked down. Blair couldn't deny the feelings of desire she felt or the flush that rose to her cheeks. But she had to do what she had to do. "Well then erase the tape because as far as I'm concerned it never happened."_

_Chuck was officially angry. "I'll see you at your party tonight."_

_"You're officially uninvited." She said as she started walking. Chuck was not going to ruin her day; she wasn't going to let him._

_Chuck yelled out the limo. "Never stopped me before." Damn it. Why was Blair being like this and why the hell did he care?_

She should have realized what Chuck was trying to tell her in that conversation outside but she didn't, she was too obsessed with Nate. She just thought that Chuck was trying to be difficult. It wasn't until later that night that she actually put some of the pieces together.

_He followed her out on the balcony, unsure of what he was going to say. On the one hand, he was fairly certain that he had deterred Nate from getting back together with her but he was also determined that he wasn't going to let some girl dictate his feelings. Even if she was Blair Waldorf. He was however excited about giving her her gift. "Are you ready for your present?" He asked walking in front of her. She surprised him by grabbing his hair and yanking. "Oww."_

_She had told him not to come anymore; she should have known he wouldn't listen. Damn it she didn't want to see him so he could rub what they did in her face._

_Chuck was going to be the Chuck Bass he knew, Blair Waldorf be damned. "If you wanted to play rough all you had to do was ask." _

_Blair dismissed some party goer before turning back to Chuck. "You nauseate me." Nate was coming and she couldn't have Chuck acting all weird._

_He was going to make sure once and for all that she knew that things were done with her and Nate since Nate was apparently too chicken to take care of it himself. "All this talk about how you have to be with Nate or the world will end; face it, it's over."_

_She and Chuck had known each other for a long time; once they had been best friends and now they were more like allies, hopefully just a normal conversation full of their witty banter would turn him back into the Chuck she was used to. Plus, she of all people was certainly going to call him out. "You sound like a jealous boyfriend." She said before looking out onto the city. _

_Chuck was startled by her statement; not because it was true, but because he wished it were. Apparently he answered a little to hastily to cover. "Oh please." He turned away from her, afraid of what she'd see if she looked at him at that moment. "Yeah right. You wish." I am Chuck Bass, I am Chuck Bass, I am Chuck Bass. He kept repeating in his head._

_Suddenly it hit her. Chuck asking her if she was sure last night, his offer for breakfast this morning, his constant urging that she and Nate were over, all of his weird behavior made sense. She looked up at him and she could see it in his eyes, not to mention, it was written all over his face. "No. You wish." Disbelief filled her voice. _

_Damn it Blair was smart. He knew better than to underestimate her powers of perception. He had to cover and he had to cover quickly. "Please, you forget who you're talking to." He said looking back at her in an effort to remind her that he never wanted to be a girl's boyfriend. He looked away again._

_"So do you." She said, reminding him that she knew him better than anyone. He looked back to her as she continued, almost unable to believe the words that were about to come out of her mouth. "Do you . . . like me?_

_Looking at her like that, Chuck knew he couldn't deny it. Blair was right; she knew him better than he knew himself most of the time. "Define like." He said, slightly ashamed of the fact that he was actually admitting to liking a girl, even if she was Blair Waldorf. _

_She scoffed. "You have got to be kidding. I do not believe this." Chuck would decide that the one girl that didn't want more than sex from him was the girl that he 'liked.'_

_"How do you think I feel." Chuck countered. Sex or no sex he and Blair were still friends, they could talk about this. "I haven't slept, I feel sick; like there's something in my stomach . . . fluttering." _

_"Butterflies?" Blair asked astounded. _

_Chuck took one look at her and knew this wasn't going well. She was still entirely too much infatuated with Nate for him to be saying these things. _

_Blair couldn't believe it. Chuck really did like her. This was beyond abnormal. "Oh no no no no no no no no no, this is not happening." Blair said walking around._

_Chuck knew he had to say something to explain himself. "Believe me, no one is more surprised or ashamed than I am." _

_She couldn't take this, not tonight, not when Nate was suppose to be coming so that they could work things out. "Chuck, you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire; but, those butterflies have got to be murdered." She said gesturing. _

_Chuck knew she wanted Nate and he didn't just sit around and take being told what to do. So he said something completely untrue. "Fine. It wasn't that great anyway."_

_"Thanks" She said softly. Blair couldn't deny that she was a little hurt by the statement; but she had accomplished her goal. Chuck was dropping it. _

Blair couldn't help but smile at the memory of that night. Thinking back, Chuck had been amazing that night even with the silly bet he made about Nate not calling. The necklace he gave her later was more thoughtful that she would have ever imagined him being. She flipped the photo over anxious to read his thoughts on the night and was amazed by the amount he had written; it practically filled up the card.

_You were the first girl I ever asked to breakfast the morning after sex and you were definitely the first girl I ever chased. I know I said some perverse things that day but I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget what we had done. I wanted you to know that it meant something to me; that it changed things. When you called me a jealous boyfriend, it almost killed me because I wanted it to be true; yet another first. I should have known that you would see through my playboy act to know that I cared about you; after all, you know me better than anyone. I know I told you I was ashamed of my feelings but I wasn't really ashamed of caring about you, I was ashamed that I couldn't hide or control the way I felt. I only made that bet with you to try to prove my point, that I would be there when Nate wasn't; that Nate and I were different. However, even though you didn't believe me, I really was sorry for how things with Nate went down that night. I never like seeing you upset and I hope that some of what I did made it something other than your worst birthday. _

She was about to cry reading his message so she went on to the next picture. It was of the two of them in Central Park by the fountain. They had spent that Saturday pretending to be tourist all over the city. She looked at the next couple of photos, one from the top of the Empire State building, and one in the main lobby at Wicked. That day had been one of the most amazing days. She couldn't remember the last time she had had so much fun.

_"Come on Blair, eat the hot dog." Chuck said holding out the steaming hot dog that he had just purchased from the vendor. _

_Blair looked at him, with a look of utter disgust on her face. "Eww, Chuck that's gross." _

_He laughed moving the hot dog closer. "Just try it Blair. Take one small bite and if you don't like it, we will throw it away and go eat lunch at Tavern on the Green." _

_Blair raised her eyebrows. Picturing Chuck sitting down for lunch at Tavern on the Green was just too priceless not to do it. "Fine." Blair said taking the hot dog, and biting into it._

_Chuck watched anxiously. Tavern on the Green wasn't his scene in the slightest so he hoped that she did in fact like the hot dog. He watched as Blair tentatively took a bite and as her eyes lit up._

_Blair was amazed by how good the hot dog tasted. She couldn't stop at one bite and soon enough she had eaten the whole thing. "Oh my god, the hot dog tasted amazing. Who knew something so cheep could taste so good?"_

_Chuck laughed. "Do you want another one?" Chuck asked. They were still right next to the cart. Blair bit her lip, what she always did when she was thinking hard about something. If Blair was considering the thought of eating another hotdog that meant that she was determining if the calories were worth the taste. She should know that she didn't need to worry about that with him. So he bought two more hotdogs, one for each of them. "Go ahead, you know you want to."_

_Blair smiled as she took the hotdog. This one she ate slowly savoring it as they walked through the park. This was strangely not weird at all. It felt totally normal to be walking through Central Park with Chuck. Maybe it was because they had always been friends. It wasn't the first time that she had walked by herself in Central Park with him; just the first time as anything more than friends. That's when they passed the bathroom. She turned to Chuck, "I'll be right back."_

_Chuck reached out quickly and grabbed her elbows. "Oh no you don't."_

_"Chuck take your hands off me, I have to go to the bathroom." Blair said looking at him like he was insane._

_"Don't think for a minute that I've forgotten what happened on Thanksgiving. I may not have been there then to help you, but I'm certainly here now." Chuck said stepping closer to her._

_Blair couldn't handle the way he was looking at her, he was looking at her like he saw her, which of course he did. So she looked away._

_Chuck didn't understand why she did this to herself. Well actually he did understand, he just didn't like it. He knew enough to know Blair's worst insecurities and to him those insecurities were ludicrous. "Look at me." Chuck said softly and waited until she did look at him. "You are beautiful." Blair looked away again. "No, look at me." This time it took longer, but Blair did eventually look back at him. Chuck gently moved his hands up her arms and over her shoulders to cup her face. "You are beautiful, just the way you are." _

_This time she didn't look away because for some reason when Chuck said that she believed him. She didn't know if it was because he was Chuck Bass and he didn't lie to her or because of the look in his eye, the look that said he saw only her; but she believed him._

_Chuck leaned in and kissed her, a kiss she returned, wrapping her arms around his neck. It was a few minutes before they remembered that they were in public and pulled back. _

_After they started walking again Blair turned her head to face him and said one word. "Thanks."_

Only three words were written on the back of the photo. _You are beautiful_ and at the bottom _One Week Until Debutante Ball. S_he smiled but then groaned at the next picture. It was a group picture of everyone on the last day of Cotillion practice. Everyone from her, Chuck, and Nate to Prince Theodore was there. Yet all Blair thought when she saw this picture was where she went afterwards. They had been careless that day when they left practice. Both she and Chuck had left together and walked down the street to her house; but, she was almost to the point where she didn't care if they were seen.

_"You were pretty hot on Princess Theodore's arm today." Chuck said huskily between kisses as he let his hands roam her body. _

_Blair couldn't deny that their witty banter was almost as good as the sex; it was their version of foreplay. "Aw is that what I am to you, just an accessory?" She said as he pulled her body closer to his. Her leg wrapped around his waist, tightened. _

_Chuck couldn't keep the smile from his lips. He seemed to have that problem a lot lately around Blair. He spoke between kisses. "Next to him, yes. On me, you'd be so much more." He said as he flipped her over on top. _

_Most of the time when she was with Chuck she thought of nothing else but today she couldn't help comparing him to Nate. Maybe because this was the first time she and Chuck had ever done this in her bed. Making out with Nate had never been this fun or exciting. "Yes but I can't be on you remember. Because you don't want Nate to find out and I don't want anyone to." She said moving her mouth to meet his as he rose partially of her bed. _

_Chuck continued sitting up until they were sitting with her straddling him on her knees. He had only slept with the same girl more than once, one time and he was so damn bored the whole time that he never did it again. But with Blair he was never bored, he couldn't get enough of her. He continued kissing her as she spoke. _

_"But you'd have to learn how to behave yourself first." She could hardly believe what she was suggesting but the sex with Chuck was so good that if he turned into a one woman guy, she wouldn't mind being that woman. _

_They kissed again until they were interrupted by the ding of the elevator. "Miss. Blair, Mr. Nate for you." Called Dorota._

_Chuck collapsed back on the bed. Damn it, Nate would have to choose now to decide he wanted Blair back. Now when she was finally happy with someone else, namely him. He needed to show Blair that he could make her happier than Nate ever did._

_Blair huffed disappointed, as she had to get off Chuck. What was Nate doing here? _

Blair laughed a little thinking back. She had been so frustrated when Nate got there and interrupted; but neither she nor Chuck was still in the mood after Nate had left. In fact they had had a small argument over her going to the ball with Nate. Nothing major, but she could tell that Chuck was jealous. It was okay, he had made it up to her the next day; which she was reminded of by the next picture. It was one Chuck had made of her, regardless of the fact that she definitely looked disheveled and she was wearing only a sheet. But before she let herself think about it she flipped over the group picture to see what Chuck had written. _I promise, I've learned to behave myself now, _was written in the center with _Two Days Before the Debutante Ball. _

_"Chuck I have to go." Blair said giggling as he kissed her bare neck. She was sitting on the edge of his bed wrapped a sheet. _

_"No you don't. Stay." He said kissing her neck again from behind her. His kisses moved up her neck, until he was kissing the edge of her ear. _

_Blair leaned back into him. "I can't. I am suppose to meet Nate in just under an hour for his tux fitting." _

_Chuck pulled her down. "I can work fast." He said as he moved his head down, down, down._

_"Don't Chuck, I don't have, oh . . .okay." Blair said giving in. _

_  
About thirty minutes later, Blair was getting ready to get out of bed and Chuck wrapped his arms around her. "See aren't you glad you stayed?"  
_

_Blair turned her head to the side so that they were almost facing each other. "Yes, but you didn't exactly play fair." _

_Instead of responding Chuck sat up. "Are you happy? Right now I mean, are you happy?"_

_Blair looked at him for a moment. This was Chuck, she knew she couldn't lie to him. "Yes." She said sitting up and giving him a soft kiss. _

_"I've been thinking about something you said yesterday, about me having to learn to behave myself before anyone could know about us. Well, I know Nate wants you back and I'm just saying that if there is a fight, my hat's in the ring." Chuck said softly._

_Blair stood up. "I have to go." _

_"Smile." He said taking a camera off the bedside table and snapping a picture. _

_"CHUCK! I'm in a sheet." Blair said whining. As she started throwing on her clothes. She really was late and it was no time to start making pictures._

_"And you're happy. I want you to have something to remind you that you were happy because if you go back to Nate you're going to lose that." Chuck said, no longer smiling. _

_Blair frowned. "I have a lot to think about, okay."_

She flipped over the photo, already knowing exactly what was going to be there. _Remember, we were happy once._ With the caption, _One Day Until the Debutante Ball. _The next photo surprised her because she didn't know that it existed. It was of her and Chuck dancing at the Debutante Ball. She couldn't help but replay their conversation that night in her head.

_Chuck cued the music as he saw Blair enter the ballroom. He couldn't believe that the plan he had orchestrated to prove to Blair that Nate wasn't a perfect gentlemen actually worked; well actually he could but a lot of small things had had to fall into place. He smirked as she approached._

_"Have you seen Nate?" She asked as she approached Chuck on the dance floor. She couldn't believe what Nate had done, punching Carter in the middle of the Debutante Ball; it wasn't like him._

_"Nate was asked to leave, but here I am." Chuck said taking her into his arms for a dance. He couldn't keep the self satisfied smirk from his face. He had noticed earlier that she was wearing his birthday present. It looked good on her. _

_Blair could feel that something was off and when she looked at Chuck she knew. "I know that look." She said softly. "It's the look when your plan falls into place." Even as she spoke, the various pieces of the puzzle put themselves together in her head. "You're enjoying this."_

_As Blair spoke, Chuck went from satisfied to anxious in seconds. This could still work out though. Blair knew him and would know that he was just doing this to keep from losing her. _

_"You knew Carter was going to my house." Everything was finally starting to make sense. "You tipped off Gossip Girl." _

_Chuck kept telling himself that things could still work out. Blair was after all still dancing with him; but then she kept talking._

_"You ruined my Cotillion on purpose." She couldn't believe she hadn't realized sooner. Of course Chuck was the one behind it all. He hadn't denied a single statement. She stopped dancing with him and stepped back. "You did all this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me. Which is exactly why you and I could never work." She had been struggling with the decision for two days; Chuck or Nate, Nate or Chuck. Chuck had made it easy for her. _

_"Hey slow down there Waldorf." Chuck exclaimed. No this wasn't happening. He had worked too hard trying not to lose her and all it had done was chase her away. He had to do something drastic; something remind her of why they did work. So he tried to pull her in for a kiss. _

_"You make me sick." Blair said pushing him off of her. What the hell was he doing, trying to kiss her in front of all these people after what he had done. "This thing between us, it's over. For good." She said walking away._

_Chuck reached out and grabbed her arm. If she would just let him explain. "Blair wait, I didn't mean to . . ."_

_But she cut him off. "Don't talk to me." She spat before turning and walking away._

_"Blair." Chuck shouted. But she didn't turn around. Damn it, what had he done? So he followed her and watched her with Nate._

Blair remembered all too clearly how she had felt that night. Chuck had done the exact opposite of what he had intended and pushed her strait into Nate's arms. What Chuck didn't know was that she knew all along that he would follow her; she wanted him to see her with Nate. She wanted to get back at him; to show him what he couldn't have. Maybe that's why she hadn't taken off his necklace while she and Nate slept together. She flipped the photograph over, eager to see his thoughts. _I'm sorry for ruining your Cotillion; I just didn't want to lose you._ At the bottom, the caption read, _Debutante Ball._

* * *

Chuck smiled before turning to Mrs. Hamilton. "All in favor of reinstating me as CEO, vote Yay, all opposed, Nay. Care to begin, Mrs. Hamilton?"

Mrs. Hamilton smiled. "Yay."

"Mr. Jamison." Chuck said.

"Yay." Spoke the elderly man clearly.

"Yay." Said Mr. Richardson.

It was Mr. Keaton's turn. "Yay."

Followed by Mr. Hardin. "Yay."

Jack rolled his eyes, these people had all voted in favor of Chuck before. The next three all went in his favor. This was a done deal. Hargrove was a toss up but he knew he had Gloria and the Fleming's in his corner so it was a lock. After the three Nays, Hargrove was up followed by Gloria.

Mr. Hargrove looked at Mrs. Hamilton before speaking a soft. "Yay."

Jack shrugged. It didn't matter that the old man had flipped. He still had the votes he needed.

Ms. King smiled as she said. "Yay."

Jack's mouth dropped open and his eyebrows shot well into his hairline. "Excuse me, could you repeat that?"

"I said 'Yay' Jack." Gloria said smiling.

"But Baby, how could you? I love you." Jack said with puppy dog eyes.

Gloria rolled her eyes. "Cut the line of bull Jack. For God's sake, the morality clause should be null and void anyway, since you weren't exactly acting upon high principles yourself. Unless you call sleeping with me to get board room votes at the same time you were screwing Chuck's girlfriend moral?"

The eyes of all the board members opened wide with shock at Gloria's revelation and Jack looked like he might collapse.

Mr. Fleming turned to Jack with a scowl on his face. "My God Jack, Blair's in high school."

Jack's face was red with anger and embarrassment. He could see Chuck leaned back in the office chair smirking from the corner of his eye. "I worked hard for this job and this is my company damn it!" Jack shouted slamming his hand on the table.

"Not any more it isn't." Mr. Fleming said shaking his head. "I assume you know the way out."

Jack stood up from his chair and kicked it backwards, sending it banging into the wall. He left with one final punch at Chuck. "Have fun failing."

Mr. Fleming turned to Chuck. "Charles Bass, as head of the board I would like to reinstate you as CEO of Bass Industries. Congratulations."

* * *

**A/N: I know, it took forever, but it was super long to make up for it. Reviews are always appreciated. **

**Xoxo**

**kate**


	11. Thursdays, Memories, and Meetings Pt IV

**A/N: This update took way longer than it was suppose to but it's a little longer than I originally planned so I split it into two separate chapters. Which means as soon as I finish my other two fanfics I'll have another update! By the way, I've started a new progress type thing on my profile and I'll be updating that regularly to give you guys an idea of how it's going.  
xoxo Kate.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

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* * *

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Blair jumped in her seat, startled as the bell to change classes sounded. She had been lost in thought about the last picture, why did it feel like she had ruined so much that day. Sleeping with Nate had been a mistake and she knew that now. As she stood up from her desk she matched step with Serena.

"Aww, there's still pictures left." Serena said frowning.

Blair couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry S, I'll see you at the end of the school day and you can look at the whole album."

Serena's eyes lit up. This whole day had been so exciting. She finally felt like Chuck had managed to win Blair over again and she couldn't be happier for her best friend and her pseudo step brother. "Promise?"

"Scouts honor." Blair said raising three fingers. How she still remembered the Girl Scout's symbol of trust was a mystery to her.

Serena rolled her eyes. "That doesn't count B! You were a Brownie for like sixty minutes and in those sixty minutes you put glue in Olivia Farrington's hair, made fun of the Girl Scout songs, and got into an argument with the troupe leader."

"Oh come on S, I was more mature than our troupe leader." Blair said giggling.

"You're probably right but still you can't use scout's honor. It doesn't mean anything to you!" Serena said crossing her arms as they reached the steps of the Met. It was lunchtime and Serena knew Blair well enough to know that she wasn't going to want to share all this stuff with the other girls.

Blair took one look at the girls on the steps and held out her pinky. "How about a pinky promise, is that good enough?" She asked, knowing full well that Serena would never doubt the sacredness of a pinky promise

Serena smiled and nodded, hooking her pinky with Blair's. She couldn't remember the last time that they had done this and it just felt good to be silly with her best friend.

* * *

Chuck smiled and reached out his hand to shake Mr. Fleming's. "Thank you, very much Mr. Fleming. I won't let you guys down again."

Mr. Fleming took Chuck's hand. He still wasn't sure that this was the best decision for the company or for himself; however, the board had voted and quite honestly they couldn't very well have someone around who was doing the kinds of things Jack was; it wasn't good PR. "Chuck I hope your father was right. I hope we have made the right decision this time because this game of CEO yoyo is getting old quickly. The company needs stability and leadership."

Chuck nodded his head. "Of course." He then turned to address the board, "Now unless there is any other business to attend to, I'd like to call this meeting to a close."

* * *

Blair practically floated into her next class. She couldn't deny that up to this point, her trip down memory lane had been incredible. It was like Chuck knew things about her that even she had forgotten. However, as she looked at the remaining stack of pictures she knew that with that many left, there were going to be pictures that reminded her of some unhappy times.

As she picked up the next photo, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. It was of Nate and Chuck together in Monaco for Christmas. Sometimes Chuck was so infuriating. She clearly remembered her hatred of him at that time. He had sent her to the bathroom a few too many times with all of his threats about revealing their secret to Nate. She flipped over the photo. "_I never intended to tell him, I was only trying to keep you from going back to him" w_as written at the center with, "_Christmas in Monaco with Nate" _in the bottom corner.

Blair's face blanched at the next photograph. She had been furious when it was made and her smile was clearly forced. Chuck had reminded her just what kind of guy he used to be that day and the kind of guy that still lingered somewhere inside of him. What had her mom been thinking giving Dorota a camera for Christmas? After receiving the camera, Dorota ran around taking pictures for months.

"_What are you doing here Chuck?" Blair asked as she stood up from the chaise lounge in the living room. Chuck was for some reason unbeknownst to her, standing in her foyer. _

_Chuck smirked. After his vacation in Monaco he felt like his head was finally clear. He was Chuck Bass and no girl, not even Blair Waldorf, bossed him around. He had played the obedient little puppy for her long enough. If she wanted to play games, game on. "What's wrong lover, not happy to see me?" _

_Blair glared as she walked into the foyer. "You know I'm not Chuck and don't call me that. I told you, whatever was going on between us, it's over. Nate and I are going to be together again, just like we should have been all along."_

"_Have you already forgotten how good it was with us . . . lover?" Chuck said in a low voice, speaking the last word with heavy emphasis, before taking a couple of menacing steps forward._

_Blair actually backed up, Chuck just didn't act like this around her. This was how he was with other girls, not her. If she was anyone else, she would have been afraid, but Chuck wouldn't do anything to hurt her; she knew he wouldn't. "What's wrong with you?" Blair asked working hard to keep the trembling that WAS NOT due to fear out of her voice._

_Chuck stepped forward again until his body was practically against hers. He reached up with one hand and stroked her jaw. "Nothing's wrong with me babe." He said his breath hot against her cheek. "I just wanted to see you." As he finished speaking he could hear Blair's quickening heart beat as her breath became ragged. _

"_Chuck, just leave." She said her voice merely a whisper. She was back with Nate and they couldn't be doing this. _

_Slowly, Chuck bent his head down to her neck. He had to reach up with one hand, to pull the fabric of her dress away and he felt her shiver as his fingertips touched her skin. This time, he spoke with his lips practically touching her neck. "I see I haven't lost my touch." _

_Blair didn't speak at first, her voice felt frozen, along with the rest of her body. "Please, Chuck." She finally managed._

_His lips were hovering millimeters over her neck, "Please what Blair?" He didn't wait for her to answer. Instead he spoke once more. "Please kiss you?" Again, Blair didn't speak soon enough, so he answered for her. "Okay, whatever you wish." At that, his lips touched the hollow of her throat. _

_A moan unwillingly escaped her lips as Chuck continued his kisses from her neck, up her throat, to the sensitive spot behind her ear. The moan only served to encourage him, as he brought his kisses to trail down her jaw. Right as his lips would have touched her own, Blair took both hands and pushed him away. "Don't. Do. That. Again." Blair said an angry lift to her shaking voice. She didn't even notice that her back was against the wall until Chuck took a step forward effectively trapping her. _

_Chuck placed his hands on her shoulders before sliding them down to grip her arms. He brought his face close to her own and said quietly in her ear. "That's not what you used to say Waldorf." _

_Now she couldn't deny it anymore, she was scared. She had always known what Chuck was capable of. She had born witness to it before but he was different with her; he was Chuck, the guy who was once her best friend the one who took care of her when her dad left, the guy who told her that she was beautiful. "Chuck, no." She whispered as he kissed her neck, but he didn't even act as though he had heard her. She couldn't stop the tremors of her body as Chuck kissed her hard on the mouth. Her mind flashed to what she had seen him do to a girl at a party once. Chuck pushing the girl who had dared to refuse him against a wall and pinning her there while he felt her up. All it took was that memory to make her tremble from head to toe. She struggled slightly, trying to use her hands to push him away; but as she did he moved his hands to hold her wrists, bringing them above her head and holding them there with one of his hands. The other left to roam her body._

_Chuck kissed her like there was no tomorrow. He used his tongue to open her mouth as he deepened the kiss. He was going to remind her what it was like to be with him, he thought as he brought his hands above her head. His other hand grasped her thigh and ran up under her dress. He heard Blair whimper and he took it to mean that she was enjoying this as well. This is how things were with them, rough and passionate. As he broke the kiss for a moment to breathe he caught the frightened look in Blair's eyes. He shook it off; Blair would never be scared of him. He began to lean back in when he felt something wet on his skin and the sound of her voice. _

"_Please." Blair said quietly through her tears. Chuck pulled back slightly and looked in her eyes once more, as she spoke again. "Please, don't do this Chuck, you're hurting me." _

_Between the look in her eyes, the tears on her cheeks, and the pleading tone in her voice, something inside Chuck broke. It was if he had just awakened from some kind of trance. What the hell was he doing? He let go of her wrists and took two steps back. _

"_Get out." She said through gritted teeth as she rubbed her newly released wrists. The tears falling down her face now tears of anger instead of fear. "I said GET OUT!" She screamed_

_Chuck stumbled a little, taking another step back. "Blair . . . I didn't." He said almost stuttering. Even though her voice was strong, he could still see the frightened look in her eyes. "Don't be scared of me Blair."_

_Blair took two steps forward and slapped him hard across the face. "What part of 'get out' do you not understand?"_

_Chuck reached out to touch her face and she knocked his hand away. "Blair, I'm sorr . . ." Chuck began._

_Blair interrupted her voice cracking as she spoke. "I thought I was different Chuck. I thought that you would never do something like this to me." She looked away as she finished._

"_I didn't mean to Blair" He said grabbing her face in his hands and turning her to face him. "I got carried away and I'm sorry. I thought you were enjoying."_

_She curled her lip in disgust as she jerked away. She spat sarcastically at him. "Oh yes, because I normally cry when I'm turned on."_

_Chuck ran a hand over his head. How had things gone so wrong so fast? "I said I'm sorry Blair, I just didn't want to lose you."_

_Blair glared. "And of course, rape is always the way to go."_

"_I didn't . . . I would never." Chuck said, mouth gaping._

"_It's not like you haven't done it before" She spat. _

_Chuck felt like he had been shot. He couldn't believe that Blair had just said that. "I would never have hurt you like that."_

"_BECAUSE I BEGGED YOU TO STOP" She shouted, tears returning to her eyes. _

_Chuck shook his head. "Blair . . ." _

_Once again, she interrupted. "Thank you for reminding me why I chose Nate over you." She said, venom dripping from each word._

_Suddenly Chuck was angry. He locked his jaw into place before letting loose on her. "Well I think you better rethink that, unless you want dear Nathaniel to find out about the fact that you weren't even close to being a virgin when he finally managed tap that ass of yours." _

"_You wouldn't." Blair said, mouth opening in surprise. How had this situation turned on her so quickly._

_Chuck smirked. "Oh, I would. Stay away from Nathaniel or I tell him everything." Chuck said turning to leave just as the elevator dinged and Dorota stepped out. _

"_Miss. Blair, Mister Chuck, smile for photo." Dorota said. _

_Blair glared. "Not now Dorota."_

_Chuck on the other hand grinned and walked back to Blair, placing an arm around her. "Oh come on Blair, what would one photo hurt?"_

Blair was almost in pain as she flipped the photo over. Why would Chuck have included this picture? This was so not a reminder to her that they were good together. _"I was a monster that day and I am so sorry. I didn't realize that your protest wasn't more than a simple front. I should have and I have never forgiven myself." _She was about to cry as she looked down at the caption. **Miss Blair and Mister Chuck.** It was clearly in Dorota's handwriting. She looked at the next picture and saw it was one Serena had snapped of them at the pool party. She quickly flipped it over. _"I never should have blackmailed you. I should have known that that wasn't the way to get you back; I just couldn't stand the sight of you and Nate together. It hurt too much." _She looked at the caption, it was in Serena's handwriting this time, _My Bestie with Evil Incarnate (aka Blair Waldorf and my soon to be stepbrother, Chuck Bass)_. Serena would write something that long, thought Blair to herself as she looked at the next photograph. It was of her and Chuck on the steps of Constance. His hand was on her stomach and she was reaching to knock him away. Apparently someone had been keeping an eye on them. She flipped over the photo. _"I know I should have never done what I was about to do in this photo. But I want you to know that if you had been pregnant and it had been mine, I would have done the right thing by you." _There was no caption.

* * *

Chuck knew he had to talk to all the board members, accepting their congratulations; but there was someplace else he wanted to be. He had made some fairly elaborate plans tonight to tell Blair about being CEO in the case that they did indeed succeed. He had found an amazing, secluded restaurant that he knew she would adore. He had had to pull some serious strings which was unusual for him, in order to get a table there tonight. Usually, I'm Chuck Bass did the trick. But he knew that there was no need to rush things here; Blair wouldn't be home from school for another couple of hours and he expected her to wait until then to call.

* * *

Blair picked up the next photo. She definitely had no idea that this one existed and it was probably the last thing that she wanted a photo of. It was a downward shot of her and Chuck at the Palace Bar the night after the last photo; it would have to be a still from a security camera of sorts. That night was one that had haunted her for so long afterwards that she wasn't sure how to handle seeing the photo.

"_What are you doing here?" Chuck asked, glaring at Blair. As of right now, she was the last person on earth he wanted to see. After running back to Nate at the Debutante Ball and pretending like what they had been was nothing for the past two months, she had to go and spill the beans to Nate that he was the other guy. After all she was certainly the only other person who had known about their tryst that had apparently meant so little to her. _

"_I came to congratulate you in person." Blair said glaring at Chuck as she took a seat on the barstool. In truth, she was here because she had no where else to go and the moment that she realized that, she remembered Chuck's promise that no matter what he would always be here for her. So regardless of the fact that it was because of him her life was a mess, she knew that he would help her pick up the pieces. "You've ruined my relationship with Nate, Serena, the girls at school; even little Jenny thinks she's too good for me." Blair was a little put off by the fact that Chuck was staring into his glass of scotch and seemingly not paying attention to her. Sure she was annoyed with him for getting her into this mess but Nate had said that Jenny was the one who spilled her secret to everyone. She needed Chuck's help to take down that little bitch. So she continued. "Bravo, now I have no one to turn to but you." She spoke softly, tilting her head slightly and waiting for Chuck's response. _

_Chuck breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of his scotch. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't continue always being second best in Blair's mind. He had done it for seventeen years and it was killing him. This time he was the one choosing Nate. "Actually you don't even have me." He said facing her for the first time since she had began talking._

"_Excuse me." She spoke authoritatively, even though alarms were sounding inside of her head. _

_Chuck kept looking at her. He had to do this; he had to do this or he would never be free of Blair Waldorf. He would always be her little lap dog. "Let me be more succinct." Saying what he was about to say was going to hurt him as much as it hurt her, but he reminded himself one more time, he had to do this. "You held a certain fascination, when you were beautiful, untouched. Now you're like one of those Arabians my father used to own; rode hard and put away wet." He could tell his words were hurting her, he was calling her a slut and praying on her greatest insecurities, but whatever was going on between them had to stop. "I don't want you anymore and I can't see why anyone else would." As soon as he finished he looked away. He had to look her strait in the eye to deliver the message or she would have seen through him but he knew that if he looked at her right now while she was crumbling to pieces right next to him, he would take it all back. _

_Blair couldn't believe her ears, how could Chuck say such awful things to her? She wouldn't have believed him if he hadn't looked her directly in the eye as he said them because after all Chuck never lied to her. Therefore, what he said must have been true. The only guy who had ever really wanted her didn't. The biggest man-whore in Manhattan thought she was a slut. The only guy who had ever told her that she was beautiful and meant it, no longer thought so. The guy who used to be her best friend had just told her that she didn't have him to turn to. Everything was awful, she wanted out and she wanted out now. So she stood up and walked from the bar without another word. _

_Chuck took one glance at her retreating figure before dropping his head into his hands. What the hell had he just done? Watching her walk away had felt like she was dragging a part of him off with him and it may very well have been the only part of himself that he liked to begin with. _

Blair turned over the photo, tears already brimming. _"Blair, I'm so sorry for what I said that night. I was just so tired of coming in second to Nate that I thought my life would be better without you in it. I was so wrong."_ The bottom said simply, _"Palace Bar, 1/27/08"_ She had been so stupid that night. At that point she had had no idea what Chuck had done. She really thought that Jenny had been the one to send the blast. If she had known it was Chuck, she would have never bothered. As she looked at the next photo she remembered all too clearly, how exactly she found out about what Chuck had done. She and Chuck were smiling as they sat in a booth at a very closed Butter.

"_Where are you going Blair?" Hazel asked, watching Blair grab her coat. _

_Penelope, always having to add something to anything Hazel said, turned her head. "Yeah, Blair, don't you want to get some rest, SAT's start in ten hours?"_

_Blair glared at them. She didn't feel like dealing with her minions at the moment, even though she was trying to win them back over. She looked back down at her phone, perplexed, before looking back at the girls. "Actually, I do better with less sleep. Plus, I'm too wired. I'll be back in an hour or so." She said stepping into the elevator._

_Butter wasn't far from her home but she took a cab anyway just in case. It was after all late. The cab driver rolled his eyes when she told him where she was headed, since she was only traveling three blocks. She walked up to the door and tried it, surprised to find it locked. She took her phone from her purse and sent an angry text message. Moments later Chuck opened the door. _

"_Sorry, I didn't think you were coming." He said quietly as he opened the door. He had given up on her showing up at least half an hour ago. The note said nine so nine thirty was within reason, or even a little after that but it was ten o'clock and he had given up hope._

_Blair walked in. Butter looked strange without anyone there. "I didn't think I was either." She said in way of response. It was the truth; it had been completely a last minute decision. She was simply hoping that he would still be here. _

_Chuck smiled at her before looking away, embarrassed. "Well I'm glad you did."_

_Blair shrugged. "What can I say? I was intrigued when you passed me that note today in the courtyard. I mean really Chuck, notes so aren't your style. 'Meet me at Butter at nine.' How is it that we are here alone anyway? And I'm Chuck Bass, doesn't count." Blair said raising her eyebrows._

_Chuck walked over to the bar and reached around behind, grabbing a bottle of scotch and two glasses and sitting them on the counter. "What if I am Chuck Bass is the right answer?" He asked with a smirk before continuing. "Actually, I rented out the place for the night?" _

"_To talk to me?" Blair asked astonished. _

"_Yeah." Chuck said with a shrug. He didn't want it to be a big deal. He just knew that he had to see her. So he poured two glasses of scotch and handed one to her._

_Blair just nodded as she took the glass of scotch. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed Chuck. Of course the sex had been great but it wasn't worth losing their friendship over. So she said exactly what she was thinking, knowing that there was currently a wall between them; one that she had every intention of shattering tonight. "I missed you, you know." _

_This time it was Chuck's turn to nod. "I know Waldorf, I missed you too." Chuck looked as though he was about to continue but Blair raised her hand slightly, letting him know, she wanted to say something. _

_She took a sip of her scotch before she continued. She knew that there was about a ninety nine percent chance that she was about to start crying so she needed to brace herself. Then suddenly she got out her camera. "Wait I want a picture of us before I start crying." She said as she laughed. _

_Chuck complied, he knew how Blair was with pictures, she wanted photos for everything. So he got up on the bar and pulled a laughing Blair with him. She reached out the camera and snapped a shot of them with the Butter sign in the background, before turning to Chuck. _

_He could tell that she was serious now as she looked him in the eye._

_Here goes nothing, Blair thought diving in headfirst. "My whole life was falling apart when I came to you that night at the Palace. I needed you Chuck, I needed you and you weren't there. I needed my Chuck that guy who used to be my best friend and instead I got the guy that everyone else sees. You said some of the worst things I think anyone has ever said to me. And after that I almost left for France, not because of everyone else, but because I felt like I had lost the one person I knew I could always count on."_

_Chuck suddenly interrupted her. "I didn't know that you almost left." He said softly. How had he not known this? Chuck Bass knew everything._

_She nodded in response. "Serena stopped me. I wanted to be anywhere but here after those things that you said to me." That's when her voice started cracking. "You broke your promise Chuck; the one you made the day my dad left. And it hurt me so badly. I was sick a lot." Blair said looking away._

_Chuck interrupted again. "What?!?! Why didn't you call me?" Damn it this was his fault, he had done this to her. He wanted her out of his life because she had caused him so much pain and he had done the same in return. His being away from her wasn't supposed to hurt her even more. _

_Blair looked back. "Dorota tried but I wouldn't let her. I told her I didn't want to see you. And that day at school when Jenny dumped yogurt on my head, you just stood there and watched. It hurt Chuck, it hurt like that summer after eighth grade." _

_As Blair finally finished he took one of her hands. "I'm sorry." He looked down at her hand, still in his. "I am so sorry." He looked back up at her. "The worst thing is, I wanted you to hurt. I wanted you to hurt, like you had hurt me. And I . . ." This was hard for him, all of it was. "I couldn't let you back in when I expected you to simply run to Nate again the second he wanted you." Chuck looked away as he finished. _

"_So what changed?" Blair asked quietly. Her answer told him all sorts of things, the most important one being that she was forgiving him._

_Chuck met her eyes. "I was wrong. I can't not have you in my life Blair. If it's just as friends, that's okay, but I can't pretend like you don't exist."_

_Blair looked away briefly before turning back. "I can't either. I was so mad at you that I tried, but it didn't work." Suddenly Blair smiled. "And now I won't have to right?"_

"_Right." Chuck said with a smile. God it was good to see her smile. _

"_Well then," Blair said with a smirk. "I could use your help getting even with Jenny Humphrey."_

_Chuck smirked in return, this was perfect. "Of course, what did the little brat do?"_

_Blair looked at him astounded. Of course Chuck didn't know, if he had he would have taken Jenny down himself a long time ago! After all, it was her fault Chuck and Nate weren't friends. "Jenny sent the awful blast, then she ran to Nate and told him that you were the other guy." Blair said by way of explanation._

_Chuck's stomach dropped. Blair thought Jenny was the one who sent the blast. She had just been mad at him for the whole conversation in the bar, not because he sent the blast. And all of his reasons for being mad at her in the first place had just disappeared; Jenny had told Nate, not Blair. _

_Blair looked at him curiously. "What is it Chuck?" _

_He knew better than to try to keep this hidden from her, she would figure it out eventually and if he came clean now there was more of a chance that she would forgive him. "Blair, Jenny didn't send the Gossip Girl blast." Chuck said cautiously as Blair slightly cocked her head. "I did." He finished, waiting for her wrath._

_Blair felt like her entire body was screaming. Chuck had been the one to send the blast, to ruin her reputation; he had done this to her. She looked at him with hurt filled eyes._

_As Blair looked at him he knew what was going to happen next was much worse than her anger. _

"_How could you?" She gasped; her lip trembling at this ultimate betrayal._

_Chuck's jaw locked, in an attempt to keep from crying himself. "I was angry at you for what you'd said on the steps that day. In that moment I hated you for making me feel like that. That's what I meant about wanting to hurt you."As the tears fell down her face Chuck handed her a handkerchief from his suit pocket. "I'm sorry I thought you knew." _

_Blair glared at him refusing the handkerchief. "Don't speak to me again. Don't touch me again. Don't even look at me again." She said, rage filling her voice. "Any association that we have had is done after this moment." With that she stood and left._

Blair flipped over the photo to see what exactly Chuck had to say about that evening. "_I thought that you knew. I'm sorry." _She looked down at the caption. It was one of hers, _**Butter with Chuck.**_ She looked on to the next picture, unsure of what exactly she was looking at. It was her, Hazel, Penelope, and Chuck posing in front of Socialista. She flipped over the picture to see what Chuck had written and was surprised to find quite a bit. "_I know that you probably don't know why this picture is here. It's the night after you took down Jenny. You and the girls went out and you got drunk. You called me at like 3am to come pick you up." _Blair looked at the caption _**Night out with the Girls.**_ And suddenly she remembered, mortified.

"_Chuck Bass, you came!" Blair called running out of Socialista._

_Chuck took one look at Blair and his suspicions were confirmed. All she had said on the phone was that she needed someone to pick her up, so he had hoped perhaps that she had gotten passed their little rift. However as he took in her appearance, short dress, high heels, and stumbling feet, it seemed as though the more probable option was indeed the case; Blair Waldorf had drunk dialed him. "Get in the limo Blair." Chuck said, trying to keep his eyes off the swooping neckline of her dress. He might need to take a cab or else she might be mad at him for several other things in the morning. _

"_Aww, look, it's Prince Not-So-Charming and his shiny black steed." Blair said stumbling towards him._

_Chuck rolled his eyes as he reached out his arms to steady her. "Come on Waldorf, let's get you home." Chuck saw a couple of guys checking Blair out and had the urgent desire to deck them. _

_Blair turned and spotted the guys. After giving them the trademark Waldorf I-don't-think-so glance she let her body attach itself to Chuck, fingers clutching his shirt. "What's wrong Bass, jealous?" She asked leaning closer and speaking in a seductive voice. "Because the way I see it, you shouldn't be. After all, I'm in your arms right now, not theirs. And I'm thinking you should ride me instead of the steed tonight."_

_Oh yeah, he was definitely going to be taking a cab. Just as he was about to toss Blair into the limo, Penelope and Hazel came stumbling out of the club._

"_B, there you are!" Cried Hazel. _

_Penelope stumbled on forward to Chuck. "And look who she's found, well now isn't this a nice surprise." Penelope slurred._

_Hazel rolled her eyes. "P you know you only want him cause he's Blair's current man of choice." _

_Chuck absorbed this information, extremely interested in this little conversation not noticing that Blair had wandered off. "And what else does Blair say about me?" He asked suggestively. _

_This time it was Penelope who rolled her eyes. "Ugh, she thinks we don't know but it's obvious that she's totally still hot for you. She brings you up without thinking about it." _

_Finally, Chuck looked up only to see Blair making out with a guy against the wall of the club. Damn it, when had she gotten over there. He dodged Hazel and Penelope and hurried over to Blair where he yanked off the mystery slimeball. "Blair. Limo. Now." He said through clenched teeth. _

_Blair smirked at Chuck. "What, I'm just having a little fun with . . ." She turned to the guy as she placed a hand on his chest. "What's your name again?" _

_The guy had a giddy look on his face as he supplied her answer. "Roger."_

_Blair turned back to Chuck. "Right, Robert. I think he wants to ride me too." She added, eyes glittering. _

_Chuck glared at the guy. "Cease and desist Robert." _

"_It's Roger." He huffed as he started walking away. _

_Blair reached out and grabbed his arm. "Wait, can you make our picture before you go, as a thank you for the kiss." She said drunkenly._

"_Sure, why not." The guy shrugged as he backed up to make the picture. _

"_No, no, in front of the sign." Blair sighed prancing over and dragging Chuck with her. "Come on girls, get in the photo." She yelled, waving them over._

_Chuck glared. "Blair . . ." Suddenly she met his gaze proving to him that she wasn't quite as drunk as he believed. In fact, she would likely remember all of this tomorrow, what was this, some kind of show she was putting on for him? _

_After meeting his gaze she pouted. "Come on Chuck, for me. Then I'll get in the limo and go home. Promise."_

Blair had no clue what she was thinking that night. Really she hadn't been that drunk by the time she called Chuck. She was kind of faking it because she wanted to see him without all the constraints of society. If she was drunk that could be her excuse. She finished reading what he had written. "_You made that slimeball you were kissing take this for us. You might not remember, or I could be correct in guessing that you weren't nearly as drunk as you pretended to be." _Really she should have known better, of course Chuck knew she hadn't really been drunk drunk.

Blair sighed as the bell rang. Today was definitely flying by.

**

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed lovelies. I had to do a lot of inventing flashbacks in the section but I really wanted to give a reason for the "Are you drunk dialing again?" comment in Women on the Verge. Reviews are always appreciated  
xoxo  
kate **


	12. Thursdays, Memories, and Meetings Pt V

**A/N: Here's the last chapter of the flashbacks, promise. By the way, I've started a new progress type thing on my profile and I'll be updating that regularly to give you guys an idea of how it's going.  
xoxo Kate.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

* * *

Blair settled into her next class and resumed her activity of choice, looking at the photos and reminiscing. The next photo was one her, Chuck, and Nate in her foyer. She knew Humphrey was in the room, even if he couldn't be seen. All of them looked tense. Dorota must have taken it with her stupid camera without her knowing. She glimpsed the next picture of the whole Non-Judging Breakfast Club. It was while they were in her living room trying to get Serena to tell them what was going on with her. Another of Dorota's she assumed. She flipped over the photos, the first said, _"When Dan asked if we all hated each other, I hated that you said yes. I could never hate you, even if I wanted to."_ The bottom was another of Dorota's captions **Miss Blair and Her Two Favorite Gentlemen.** Blair rolled her eyes and flipped over the second photo. "_The several times I mentioned that day fill out my top ten, ever. That aside, I had missed you guys." _Blair knew exactly which several times he was mentioning and it made her blush furiously but she had to admit, no one else even ranked in comparison to Chuck; not Nate and definitely not Marcus. She looked to Dorota's caption once more. **Miss Blair and her Non-Judging Breakfast Club.**

Blair continued on to their next set of pictures. One at Bart and Lily's rehearsal dinner, she had no idea who had taken it but she could tell it was taken when she was telling Chuck that she knew where Georgina was. She flipped the photo. "_I would have gone with you even if it hadn't been Georgina. Anything to be near you." _The caption reading, _Bart and Lily's Rehearsal Dinner. _The next photo was one of her, Chuck, Nate, and Vanessa. It must have been taken by someone doing photos for the concert. It never ceased to amaze her how Chuck was collecting these photos. The back of this one was a continuation of the other so to speak. "_Even a Licky Hawk Concert, as you so dutifully named them." _Once more the caption was simple. _Lincoln Hawk's Top Ten Forgotten Bands of the 90s Concert._ The next photo was one Chuck had taken of them, she recognized it as one they had made during their plotting against Georgina. "_So maybe I wasn't afraid of hurting my back. And PS I always knew that you could be bitch enough for both of us, I just like getting to play along." _Blair laughed. She had known from the beginning that Chuck had just gotten in bed with her to be close to her. The caption was another one of his. _Chuck and Blair's Late Night Plotting._ The next photo however caused her to laugh. It was before the wedding. Who on earth had taken a picture of her kneeing Chuck? "_When you kicked me I was terrified because I really thought there was no chance now of us having something. I thought that you were really still mad at me for everything. But I caught a slight glint in your eyes when you told me that Georgina was the last thing we had in common and knew I had to do everything in my power to get you back." _She shook her head reading the caption. _Prior to_ _Bart and Lily's Wedding._

As she looked at the following picture she couldn't help but reminisce. It was one she had seen before; after all it was in the official wedding album. It was of her and Chuck dancing at the Reception.

_Chuck was nervous as he began his speech. Not because of what he was going to say, he knew it was good, but rather of how he was going to convince Blair to give him another shot. His thoughts were consumed by her and he couldn't concentrate properly. "I'd like to propose a toast." He began, raising his glass. "My father is someone who goes after what he wants. And Lily van der Woodsen was no exception. In typical Bass-man fashion his pursuit was direct and at times not exactly subtle." As he spoke he looked around the room, spotting Blair directly in front of him. Suddenly, he knew how to tell her how he felt, how to ask for forgiveness. That's why he put down the note cards and instead spoke from his heart. "One thing I learned from my father's courtship of Lily is the importance of perseverance. That in the face of true love you don't just give up, even if the object of your affection is begging you to." He had been looking solely at Blair, wanting her to know that his words were for her. After what he admitted to Nate today, he wanted nothing more than to tell her how he felt. But he had only been looking at her and this wasn't just about her, so he turned and looked at the happy couple. "One thing I learned from Lily is the importance of forgiveness. She gave my father the gift of a second chance and, in kind, I watched him become someone actually worthy of that gift." He focused back on Blair for his last lines. He needed her to know that this was the moment that he was asking for her forgiveness, once and for all. "And one day I hope I'll be lucky enough to find someone who will do the same for me. To the happy couple!"_

_Blair raised her glass with the toast but she couldn't take her eyes off Chuck. She couldn't help feeling like the words were meant for her. As everyone stood up for the first dance, Blair walked over to Chuck. "That was quite a speech. All your hard work must have paid off." _

_Chuck smirked and stepped forward leading her onto the dance floor. "It wasn't what I wrote. I was inspired in the moment." His eyes let her know that he was meaning that she was the one who inspired him. _

_Blair's eyebrows shot up. She had thought, maybe, but Chuck had just outright admitted that he had been talking to her during his speech, so she let him continue._

"_Look, I know I said some horrible things. Even for me." Chuck said. She knew that he was sorry for those things; he just needed to clear the air one last time. _

_Blair jumped in at this but she noticed as she spoke that her voice didn't hold one hint of malice. "You mean blogging to Gossip Girl about our sex life and comparing me to your dad's sweaty old horse?" She asked with a shrug. _

"_What's your point?" Chuck asked knowing that she wasn't angry anymore. He could hear it in her voice. _

"_What's yours?" Blair asked in return, leaning back. She knew that Chuck was sorry and that he had feelings for her but she needed him to be the one to initiate this. _

_He leaned in, knowing that she wanted him to make the first move. He owed it to her. "You don't belong with Nate." Then he whispered. "Never have, never will."_

_Blair leaned in to meet his lips whispering. "And you don't belong with anyone." But me. She thought to herself as her lips met his. She knew it didn't have to be said outloud; Chuck knew. _

_After a few moments Chuck pulled back. There was something he needed to say. He wanted a real relationship with Blair, if he was honest with himself, he always had. To achieve that, things had to be different; it couldn't be the same as before. "Let's take it slow this time. Do it right." Chuck said quietly._

_Blair was taken aback. Since when did Chuck ever take things slow? "Chuck Bass is a romantic, who knew?" She said sarcastically. _

_Chuck had the perfect answer for her question and smirked. "Now you do. That's all that matters." _

Blair smiled at the photo. Of course Chuck's version of taking things slow had been simply to not rip her dress off in the middle of the dance floor or one of the bathrooms. No they had somehow made it all the way home. She turned the picture over. "_I think I'm only a romantic for you." _At the bottom in what looked to be Lily's handwriting it said. _The Wedding Reception_.

As Blair looked through the next few photos, it was a series of smiles and laughs. One was of them wrapped in sheets in Chuck's bed, another taken as they ate hot dogs in Central Park, one of them at Victrola (the club had been closed and she had given Chuck a private dance), the next was of them at Six Flags New Jersey, and the last was of them out to dinner with her mom. All of them were nice and Chuck had little comments for each. That had been the best week of her life and she wasn't ashamed to admit it.

Blair fully expected for that to be the last photo for a while since Chuck had abandoned her at the airport. She was surprised to find a photo Chuck must have made of the helicopter pad after she left. The back of the photo made her want to cry. "_I'm sorry for abandoning you. I know I told you that at the White Party but I wanted to really tell you why. As I was about to leave my father, gave me this speech on responsibility and how you were going to change me and as I thought about it all I could think was that for you to change me, you would have to see me. As close as we had once been, I had never completely let you in. There was always a part of myself I kept guarded from everyone; even you. I'm sorry it just hurt too much. I was so scared and I knew that I was bad for you. So I stood you up. I've never forgiven myself." _ She shook it off and looked at the next pictures, they were of him, Nate, and Serena in the Hamptons and pictures of her and her dads in France. Also, there were a couple of her and Marcus. Every photograph with a different version of "I'm sorry." The next photo of them at the awkward family dinner with Marcus where the pin incident had occurred. Blair flipped the photo "_I'm glad you didn't really feel the same way about Marcus that you did about Nate." _ The following of them walking down the street in the Hamptons, she recognized it from the Gossip Girl blast. _"So I guess we were both wrong, he was neither a Georgetown or a Princeton man." _After that came the White Party photo. Another Gossip Girl blast she knew.

"_Chuck." Blair said exasperated as she turned around to see who was walking up behind her. "Aren't you done trying to destroy my night?"_

_He knew, right now, if he wanted her, he had to lay it all on the line. It would take that to compete with a Lord. "Look, I never should have abandoned you."_

_Blair was startled, she didn't expect this from Chuck, not anymore. He never was this forth coming or honest about his feelings._

"_I knew I made the wrong decision, the moment your plane took off." He continued speaking, aware that he had her full attention. "I distracted myself all summer, hoping I wouldn't feel it, but I still do." _

"_And?" Blair said softly. She knew that he felt bad about leaving, but she needed more than that. She needed to know why._

"_I was scared." He admitted. He hated this, he hated explaining his feelings but he knew that he had to. He owed her that much. "__I was scared that if we spent the whole summer together just us, then you'd see." Chuck said warily._

"_See what?" Blair asked. Again she needed more. She was confused. Why had he been scared to go away with her? She thought that he lo-, that was a thought for another time. Now she needed him to answer her. _

"_Me." He said immediately. Making himself more vulnerable than he had ever been before. He was close to tears, she was listening but she wasn't close to breaking. "Please don't leave with him." He whispered taking hold of her arms. _

"_Why?" She asked. "Give me a reason. And I'm Chuck Bass, doesn't count." She finished. She was finishing for a certain response. If he wanted her, really wanted her, then there was something that she needed to know. _

"_Because you don't want to." He said leaning in. He knew that she didn't want to go; she wanted to be with him. _

_Blair shook her head slightly. "Not good enough." She needed that one answer. That was all it would take to get her to stay. _

"_Because I don't want you to." He said trying to pull her to him. His eyes conveyed his sincerity; he knew that, even as they welled up with tears. _

"_It's not enough." She said, this time really shaking her head. _

_Chuck Bass didn't cry, but he was about to and he knew it. He didn't know what more he could give her. He had opened himself up to her in every way possible. "What else is there?" He managed to get out._

_Blair could tell that this was hard for Chuck but she needed him to say it. "The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car." She said slowly and clearly as she looked at him. "Three words, eight letters, say it and I'm yours." She said nodding slightly in encouragement. _

_He knew that this was ultimately what she wanted to say but he didn't know that he could. If he did, so much could go wrong; but for her, he would try. "I . . ." He started as she looked at him, eyes hopeful. "I . . ." He began again, trying to say them. He couldn't get the words out._

_Blair looked at him, tears falling down her face. "Thank you." She said, pulling herself from his grasp. "That's all I needed to hear." She said, turning around. She couldn't look at him, he hadn't said the words that she felt. He couldn't say them, he didn't feel them after all. She had been wrong and she felt like dying. But she was a Waldorf, so she plastered a smile on her face and ran to Marcus._

_As Chuck watched her run away he wanted nothing more but to grab her and say the words; but he couldn't. He couldn't, even though he felt them. And he knew then, that he had lost her._

Blair couldn't stop the tears from flooding her eyes at the memory. It had killed her that he didn't say it; that he still hadn't said it. She flipped the photo warily. "_I wanted to say it, I wanted to say it more than you will ever know. I just couldn't. I wasn't ready. I am now." _Her heart stopped when she read the last three words. He was telling her that he was ready to say that he loved her. The caption simply read _The White Party._ When she looked at the next photo she almost laughed, but not quite, not since she knew about Marcus and Catherine now. It was a photo of Chuck introducing her to Catherine. Following that there was a picture of her, Serena, and Chuck at the Bass Apartment that night. She remembered their conversation that night, all too well. It was a little too flirty for a girl who had a boyfriend.

"_Did you enjoy meeting Duchess Beaton?" Chuck asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking. When he left the party it looked as though they were well on their way to a catfight. _

"_I did." Blair said smiling as she walked up to Chuck. _

_He knew that tone all too well, Blair wasn't upset, she wasn't pissed off, she was . . . victorious? "That's not sarcasm in your voice, that's—"_

_Blair smiled. Chuck was the only one who would know the difference in her tone of voice alone. "Victory. I know. Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus's mommy is even sicker than you are." _

_Blair smiled and Chuck laughed to himself. "You got along great." She would be the one girl that could one up that crazy bitch. He had heard plenty of stories of Catherine Mason running of Marcus's girlfriends. _

"_I think she recognized a part of herself in me. Or rather I recognized someone in her." Blair said shrugging. _

"_I don't follow." Chuck said confused, but he couldn't wipe the amazed smirk off his face. _

_Blair practically fluttered her eyelashes. She wasn't sure what she was doing but she had missed their banter. "All you need to know is that you lost. But don't be too hard on yourself. It was a solid effort."_

"_Tomorrow's another day." Chuck said still in awe. _

"_Goodnight Chuck." Blair said smiling, as she turned._

_Chuck smiled in return. "Goodnight Blair." He watched her walk from the room, playing with her hair and he felt 'it' more than ever._

Blair smiled at the memory. She really had been missing their easy banter. She read the back trying not to laugh. _"It took all my energy not to grab you and kiss you right there in the living room." _ There wasn't a caption on the photo.

The next picture alarmed Blair. Where the hell had it come from? It was of her and Chuck at her party when he was attempting to seduce her and they looked anything but innocent. She quickly turned over the photo. "_Don't worry the picture was taken by one who was easily manipulated into giving it up." _

Blair moved on to the next photograph. It was of them near the beginning of school, standing out in the courtyard. Chuck was trying to convince her to let him help her get Queen back, when she knew very well that he had set it all up. She turned over the photo. "_I wanted you to need me Blair, that's why I set up the Queen switch. But even then, you still didn't need me." _For some reason it made her sad to read that. She wasn't entirely sure why. The following photo was also at school. It was the day he had tried to tell her that they were inevitable. "_Blair, I wanted you back as a friend even more than as a lover; wanting you as a lover was simply my excuse." _

She laid the subsequent pictures out on the desk and turned them over in turn.

One of Chuck at her house when they were originally plotting against Vanessa, he was kissing her cheek. It was another of Dorota's. "_I only agreed to do it for you in the first place. I never gave a damn about Humprey"_

A picture of them together smiling at the housewarming party. _"You were right you asked for it first, I shouldn't have tried to make you say it. I should have never made you chase me." _

A few of her seduction attempt, both from Gossip Girl Blasts: one of her perched on his car, flashing some leg. _"The garter is what got me."_

Another of them at the Palace, her wiping his pants after spilling her drink. "_You have no idea how difficult it was to keep you from noticing how turned on I was. It was most definitely work." _ She was surprised at that one. She had thought for sure that Chuck had been immune to her ministrations.

The subsequent photo definitely freaked her out a little. It was of her in Serena's bedroom, lighting candles. Chuck could be such a creeper sometimes. "_Yes I took it. I couldn't resist. Your attempt that night was so close to working too."_

After that, a photo of her and Serena at the Art Gallery before Chuck got there. She remembered Dan taking it. "_When you couldn't say it I should have. Afterwards, I was so wrong, once I knew Dan was the one who stopped you, I should have run to your house and said it." _

The next was of her and Chuck taken by Emma, the night that they had looked for her. _"The back of the limo will always be sacred. I couldn't even begin to be with another girl back there." _That made her happy. She also remembered that that was the night she had told Emma that her first time had been with someone she loved. Chuck of course didn't know that she had admitted it outloud, but she had.

Blair saw the next picture and smiled fondly. It was the last good memory she had of Chuck; the Snowflake Ball. Their bet had been one for the ages. It was true no one knew the other better.

"_You look lovely." Chuck said walking up to Blair, noting that she was once more wearing his necklace. That was quite honestly the best 250 thousand dollars he had ever spent. _

_Blair looked up at him smirking. "Not as lovely as I'll look in my limo. So where's my Prince Un-Charming?" _

_Chuck smirked in return. "Sandbox rules, I'll show you mine, if you show me yours." _

_The minute the doppelgangers walked out both she and Chuck laughed before she drug Chuck to the side. "We both know that I'm your one and only and a Canal Street knock off seemed like the best option. Blair said in explanation. _

_Chuck nodded his head. "My thinking exactly." If he had it his way, then they would just dismiss the look-a-likes and hang out together. _

_Blair narrowed her eyes. "Fine. If Beta Bass is anything like the original I have no doubt that sooner or later he'll disappoint me." _

_Chuck could tell that Blair was scared of being with him by her voice but he was finally starting to feel like they had something building; however he replied snarkily. "And I'm curious to see if the new Blair has all the features I so enjoyed on the old model._

"_So the bet is still on." Blair asked questioningly._

_Chuck would keep playing this game with her. After all it was what they did. "Unless you're prepared to concede"_

_Blair shot him a look that told him she was definitely still playing. "To you? Never."_

_It wasn't long after that that they found Blair and Chuck 2.0 getting together and Blair walked away frustrated. "Everyone—even our doppelgangers can work it out. But we can't." She said so upset that she could hardly see strait. _

_Chuck__ knew what he wanted, he always had. "Dance with me."_

"_What's the point, Chuck. We're never going to be them. You said so, remember? It's not for us." She said weary from the constant struggle that it was to want to be with him and not knowing how much she could be. _

_Chuck__ knew that Blair needed reassuring right now, reassuring that the future he had hinted at once before was still possible and that she was always going to be an important part of his life. "Maybe. But I wouldn't change us. Not if it meant losing what we have"_

_Blair__ looked up at him, fed up. "And what do we have, Chuck? You tell me."_

"_Tonight." Chuck answered immediately. "So shut up. And dance with me." He said taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. _

_Blair couldn't keep the smile off her face because what she wanted more than anything was him in her life. _

Blair shook her head slightly at the thought. It was only a few minutes after that that Lily broke the news of the accident. They had all rushed to the hospital only to find that it was too late. She tried to be there for him and he tore out of the hospital in a rage.

Blair knew that that was the end of the happy photos. There wouldn't be another. The next was of the funeral. "_I shouldn't have pushed you away. And my response to you telling me you loved me was intended to do just that. You didn't deserve that and I'm sorry." _

After that it was a photo of her mother's wedding party. _"Lily said something to me that night. She told me not to push away the people I loved. The only person I could think to go to was you. But my note was right, you deserve so much better. That's why I left. I didn't want to put you through what I knew I would."_

She frowned at the next picture. It was the Gossip Girl blast of her and Chuck at school right before he got caught by Queller. "_I know when you looked at me that day, you must have seen a monster and I'm sorry for that."_

The next photograph was another that she didn't know existed. It was of her standing in front of Chuck at Victrola just a few weeks ago when she had gone to check on him. "_I was a new level of awful to you that day, throwing your words back at you like I did. It was wrong but I wanted you to hurt like I was hurting. I wanted to put some of that on someone else and with you it was too easy."_

By this point the tears were rolling down her cheeks. The following picture was off another Gossip Girl Blast. It was her and Chuck walking down from the roof that night at Victrola. "_I never thanked you for saving my life that night. So thank you."_

After that, the photo was of them sitting in Chuck's suite at the Palace. He had made it of themselves.

"_What are you doing with the camera out Blair?" Chuck asked. He was a little worried because he knew how Blair was with pictures._

_Blair smiled. "I think someone needs to remember how to have fun." She said snapping a photo of him, before turning the camera on herself and making a silly face. _

_First it was a smile, then as Blair's poses and facial expressions became more and more extreme, Chuck started to laugh._

_Blair turned to him smiling. "That's more like it, Bass."_

_He walked over and gave her a hug that she wasn't expecting. Before reaching for the camera and making some pictures of both of them. Eventually, they collapsed on the bed in a fit of giggles. "You're the only one who makes me forget." He said quietly after a few moments._

_Blair looked over at him. "I try."_

"_I know this hasn't been easy for you, any of it. But I want you to know that I'm working on it." Chuck said reaching over and brushing a piece of hair off her face. After a moment, he withdrew his hand. "Will you come to the will reading tomorrow? I need someone there with me." _

"_Of course." Blair said seriously. "Anything you need just let me know." _

_Chuck nodded. He wasn't pushing her away anymore because she had proved that she wanted to be there for him. "Thank you."_

_They fell asleep on top of the covers not long after that. _

Blair flipped the photo. _"Thanks for helping me forget, if only for a moment."_ This photograph surprisingly didn't make her frown and neither did the next one. It was a press shot of them standing outside after the will reading. She turned it over. "_I would have probably just given the company to Jack to start with if you hadn't been there that day. You made me realize that my father didn't actually hate me." _

The next photo however made her want to hurl. It was the two of them at the brunch she had thrown for Chuck. It was clearly another Gossip Girl Blast. His words of that day echoed in her head, "Quit trying to play the wife." She could still feel the pain of his words. Even after what he had just done to her, standing her up, having sex with other women, doing drugs in his office, and ruining her brunch, she would have forgiven him; but, the wife comment pushed her over the edge. She had just wanted to be there for him and after everything that she had done for him, to make a word that she had always cherished sound like the ugliest word in world, it was just too much. That's why she had ended things. She couldn't let him take her down with him. She had to salvage what was left of her own life. She didn't want to turn over the photo, didn't want to know what he had said about that day; but she did. "_I am so sorry; so so so so so sorry. I was angry and I took it out on you. If there is a woman in the world I would ever consent to marrying, it's you." _

His words should have made her feel better, instead she felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. Looking at the picture made her feel it all once more and it hurt. It hurt so badly she wanted to go home. The next few pictures were lost on her. They were all from this week, in the hallway with the flowers, walking together chocolates in hand, and various parts of yesterday with the jewelry. She didn't even look at the backs, she couldn't because her heart was hurting too much. After inserting the pictures she found that there was so much more room left in the album.

Then there was a completely blank photograph, as though a picture had been taken of a white piece of paper. She flipped it over, curiosity getting the better of her. "_You may have noticed that this picture is blank and there are a lot of empty slots left in the album. This represents the future. If you want that future call me today because I have something important to tell you."_

Blair's lip trembled and tears rolled down her face as the final bell rang. Serena rushed toward her the moment she got out the door. Blair simply handed her the album and started walking.

"Wait B, aren't you going to stay and look with me? I know that you'll want this back!" Serena called after her.

Blair glanced back over her shoulder. "Keep it." She said before speed walking out of there so quickly that Serena couldn't keep up. What the hell had gone wrong? Serena thought flipping through the last few photos to find whatever it was that had upset Blair so much. Apparently, Chuck had done something wrong; from the looks of it, very very wrong.

* * *

Chuck paced back in forth in his suite. Why hadn't Blair called him yet? It was close to night fall. The reservation was for 7pm and it was already 6. He was bursting with the good news. He knew that if only she saw that he had grown up, he had gotten the company back all on his own; she would forgive him. So he picked up his phone and simply clicked 1 and send. She was of course the first number on his speed dial, even above emergency numbers.

Blair heard her phone ringing once more and groaned. Serena had been calling all afternoon and Blair had been ignoring her. Finally she decided to just get it over with and answer. "What do you want?" She asked angrily.

Chuck was taken aback, he had realized that something hadn't gone as planned but she sounded pissed as hell. "To see you." He said softly.

Blair almost dropped the phone. It wasn't Serena, it was Chuck. Oh shit. "I'm hanging up." She said immediately.

Chuck smiled to himself. That she said she was hanging up meant that he had the ability to convince her otherwise. "No you aren't Blair. If you were you would simply have done it as opposed to telling me that you were going to do it."

Blair groaned, he knew her too well. "Okay whatever, why did you call?"

"Come out with me." Chuck said gently.

"No." Blair replied simply. She wasn't doing this, that picture from the brunch had broken her all over again.

He didn't know what had happened that had made them lose so much progress but he wasn't giving up that easily. "Please, I have something to tell you."

Blair rolled her eyes. "Tell me on the phone." She fully assumed that he was going to tell her how he felt and knowing that she knew that he wouldn't do it over the phone.

"It would be better in person. In fact, I'll only tell you in person." Chuck said, thinking that that would win her over.

Now she knew he was going to say it; but she didn't want to hear it. "Okay good, then I suppose we are done."

Something was way off with her tonight. "Blair, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice gentle.

Blair suddenly started crying. Damn it, that was supposed to happen. "I can't do this Chuck." She said though her tears.

"Blair, don't push me away." Chuck spoke in an attempt to soothe her.

Blair made a strange laughing sound. "Don't push you away? Don't push you away? Chuck I'm not pushing, you ran away from me a long time ago." And with that she snapped her phone shut and turned it off. She couldn't talk to him, not now, not ever.

Chuck stared at the disconnected line. He knew better than to call back but he tried anyway and it immediately went to voicemail. "Damn it." He cursed after snapping closed his phone. It was a good thing he had already gone all out for tomorrow because from the looks of the situation, he was going to need it.

**

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A/N: Like I said last of the flashbacks. Only one more chapter to go on this fanfic. Reviews are always appreciated.  
xoxo  
kate**


	13. You're Still You and I'm Still Me

**A/N: Here is the last chapter of this fanfic. Thanks to all of you loyal readers. If you're interested I'm starting a new fic that's a little of a throwback. I'm basing it around the episode 1.10 Hi Society and working from there. **

**WANT TO READ MY CHAPTERS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE? IF SO READ THIS:  
So this new fanfic I'm starting I really want a beta for because I feel like my work needs one during the times when I get busy and don't put as much effort into it as I should. That being said, I thought I would be a little untraditional and ask if any of my readers are interested in filling the role for that fanfic (or one of my others, I haven't beta requested for any of them because I didn't want somebody to have to start halfway through). The only thing that I require is that you are fairly punctual as in like if I post it one day, I kind of want it back the next, unless there's like an extenuating circumstance or something. I'm only asking for the new fanfic but if you are interested in doing one of my others instead or aswell, I'd be ecstatic.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

**Special Thanks to Chelle2911 for the readover!**

**PS: If anyones wondering about the title change, I did it because when the story was complete What He Can't Have just didn't seem to fit anymore. I'm not in love with the new title either so if you've got any ideas, let me know.  
**

* * *

When Blair walked into her homeroom Friday morning there was a simple red rose on her desk. She rolled her eyes; did Chuck honestly think that she could be persuaded with a flower when nothing else had worked? As usual Blair was the first in the room so no one else had seen the flower or she assumed that it would have already been on Gossip Girl just like the rest of Chuck's gifts. Blair took her seat and picked up the rose; that's when she noticed the note.

_One rose is hardly enough_

Blair laughed a choking sort of laugh; only Chuck could know what she was thinking quite that precisely. But she sat there through homeroom studying the one simple rose. It still had most of its thorns; something that surprised her. She would think that Chuck of all people would pay extra to have each and every thorn removed. As she sat there tracing her finger along one of the thorns, she began to contemplate the possibility of maybe giving Chuck one more chance. He had been wonderful over the past week; doing everything possible to prove that he had grown up. Then in a moment of distraction at that thought, the thorn stuck her thumb drawing blood and she remembered. Loving Chuck hurt too much.

As Blair walked out of her homeroom she expected to see Chuck but instead found an out of breath Serena holding another rose. "I know. You were expecting Chuck." Serena said with an eye roll noting that Blair looked more disappointed than happy to see her. "Truth be told so was I. He got caught up this morning and won't be here until around lunch time."

"Caught up with what?" Blair asked narrowing her eyes.

Serena smiled. "That's for Chuck to tell you because truth be told I only know what he's told me and that's not a lot. But I have to go. I have a Chem exam first period."

Blair narrowed her eyes a little more before nodding. She looked down at the rose as she walked and noticed there was another note attached.

_To explain how sorry I am, to make up for what I've done._

Blair shook her head. She was getting so tired of hearing that word. She knew that he was sorry. That wasn't the issue. The issue was that no matter how sorry he was she still didn't think that she could trust him. She was surprised as she walked into her first period English class to see another rose sitting on her desk; that was unexpected. She lifted it to read the note.

_But I have done everything else that I know to do. _

All through English she had trouble concentrating. She just kept thinking about everything that Chuck had said or done for her over the past week.

On Monday with the hydrangeas, where she had furiously thrown them at him and how he had promised that he could make her happy. Then on Tuesday, he had sworn that he would win back her trust as he gave her chocolates at every corner. Wednesday, he had come back to her, even after finding out about what she had done with Jack. Even then he had pampered her with jewelry and returned to her her favorite piece. On Thursday she hadn't seen him but the photos had all been so perfect but when he had called that night she had hung up for a reason. She knew that she was going to have to make a decision once and for all today and she had a feeling that this time, it might very well be the final decision. Whether Chuck admitted it or not; he was running out of ideas of how to get her back and he was getting tired of chasing her. One way or the other, this was ending today.

Blair walked out of English to find Nate standing there with a rose. "Messenger number two, huh?" she asked.

"Yep." Nate said sticking his hands in his pockets. "I believe I am also, messenger three, four, six, and eight."

Blair raised her eyebrows. "Why?"

Nate sighed. "Blair, Chuck's my best friend. You know that."

Blair laughed a little. Unlike Serena, Nate had a free period next even though he also had the senior independent study later in the day. The coaches had pulled some strings so that he could use it to practice whatever sport was currently in season since he was the captain for soccer, basketball, and lacrosse. So she knew that she was free to talk to Nate for a while. "No silly, I mean why are you having to be a messenger at all? Where's Chuck?" She asked looking down at the next note.

_You've probably noticed, all of the roses have their thorns._

Nate shook his head. "Honestly, I don't know. Chuck just stopped by my house this morning at the crack of dawn and handed me roses and instructions before taking off. He said something about an emergency meeting but I don't know what it was for."

Blair sighed, of course Nate didn't know. Nate probably wouldn't have known, even if Chuck had told him. That's when she saw the rose through the lock on her locker. She took it and placed it with the others looking down and reading the note.

_It's because I can't promise you a perfect relationship_

She looked back at Nate, suddenly serious. "You have known me as long as anyone has and you and Chuck have been best friends for just about forever. There is no one person who knows the two of us better than you do."

Nate nodded perplexed. He wasn't sure where exactly Blair was going with this but he couldn't deny that everything that she was saying was true. Chuck, Blair, and Serena had been his friends his entire life.

Blair just needed someone to tell her what to do. Serena couldn't or wouldn't, or maybe Blair just didn't want to ask her because she already knew what Serena was going to say. S had made up her mind a long time ago about who Blair should be with; but Nate, Nate should be slightly more neutral if not biased in the opposite direction. If there was anyone to tell her what to do, it was him. So in a soft tender voice, one that she knew Nate would have to answer, if only for fear that she would burst into tears if he didn't, Blair asked her ex-boyfriend something. "Nate, what should I do?" After a brief pause, she continued tears filling her voice. "Please, just tell me what to do."

Nate simply reached out and pulled Blair into a hug. He had had no idea that everything Chuck had done had caused her so much pain but looking at her right now told him that it had. "I don't know Blair. I don't know." He said soothingly.

The bell rang and they broke apart as Blair hurried off to her next class, only to find another rose.

_I can't promise that there won't be any thorns along the way_

She read the note but pushed it from her mind and tried to do something that she had been unable to do for weeks and concentrate in English. She failed and instead pondered what Chuck was saying. With grand gesture after grand gesture he was working to prove himself but he wasn't promising her a fairy tale, which surprised her. The only thing that she could think was that he knew that if he tried to promise a fairy tale, he would have to break that promise eventually. The bell sounded as she was still mid thought. She walked out of the classroom to find Nate waiting on her, holding another rose.

"Go ahead and read it." Nate said handing it to her as they walked. Even though he didn't have a free period, he still seemed content to just linger with her as she moved towards her locker.

_All I can promise is that I'll be there through it all_

Blair read the note and smiled. Her assumption about not promising a fairy tale had been correct. She looked to Nate once more and noticed he was retrieving another rose from her locker and passing it to her. "Chuck really went all out for you B."

She nodded, "He has been all week you know; but the question remains, is it enough?" She glanced down at the note as they walked towards her next class.

_No thorn will ever send me running again_

Nate spoke again as they neared her classroom door. "I think that's something that you are going to have to decide. It's not a decision that anyone else can make for you."

She nodded as she entered her French class, walking over to find yet another blood red rose. She was assembling quite the collection and she was getting to the point that she didn't know what to do with them. She couldn't resist reading the note that was attached to the latest addition though.

_No matter how large it might be_

If nothing else, Chuck had indeed proved that to her this week. He should have gone running when she told him about Jack and he didn't. He still wanted her even though she had made one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Perhaps she had subconsciously been testing him on that point. If so, he had passed with flying colors.

Her French teacher interrupted her thoughts and asked her a question about a museum that they had been studying. Luckily, her father had taken her to the museum on her last visit so she had plenty to say; but Mrs. Boviar knew that she hadn't been paying attention and made sure that changed for the rest of class. When class was finally over she found Nate waiting for her once more, holding a red rose of course.

She took the rose and read the note immediately. They were beginning to fall into a pattern. She read the note, they talked briefly, she read the next note, he reassured her that it was her decision to make and it was time for her to go to her next class, where she found another rose. This time the first note said,

_I know how much I've hurt you_

And the second read,

_If I could change that, you know that I would_

And the third,

_I've learned from my mistakes, I think I've proved that as best I could_

Blair sat in her AP Bio class, allowing Nelly Yuki to dissect the frog, simply because she was too distracted. She had been right in homeroom, she knew that everything was going to be decided today because quite honestly Chuck couldn't do much more. He had said everything that he could say to make things right again and she had a strange feeling that the headmistress wasn't going to be putting up with these shenanigans much longer. Plus, if she didn't start paying attention in class, her grades were going to slip.

As if on cue, Nelly slammed the scalpel to crack the skull a little too hard and the teacher came by tisking. "Now now ladies, you are going to have to start over. Maybe this time you'd like to help Miss. Waldorf." He said with a glare.

She nodded but couldn't have been more glad to get out of there at the sound of the bell. As she exited the classroom, she found Serena waiting. Her class was right next door and so of course after Bio would go to her.

Serena handed her the rose with a smile. "So what does this one say?" She asked anxiously. She and Nate had enough trouble remembering which rose was which even though they were numbered on the back of each note, so they hadn't really gotten to set them all out and read the entire message. Plus there were other roses involved that neither she nor Nate had laid eyes on because neither of them had known about the lockers. Hopefully, by asking Blair what this one said, she would be forced to tell her what the rest said.

Blair read off the note. "_I know that we can't magically go back to the way things were."_

"Aww that's sweet." Serena said as she held the roses while Blair took the next one from her locker and read it.

"_All I can suggest, is that we go forward." _ Blair said, adding the rose to the bouquet and getting her things from her locker.

They walked to lunch with Serena gabbing on and on about something. Blair wasn't really paying much attention and Serena definitely lost her when she saw the single rose sitting on the steps of the Met. Blair walked away from Serena and picked it up, reading it aloud because she knew that Serena would make her anyway. "_In our past we were best friends." _ She read out.

That's when Serena interrupted. "Whoa, B, what am I missing here? When were you and Chuck ever really friends, much less best friends?"

Blair looked at Serena disbelievingly. "Didn't you read the backs of the photos yesterday S?" She said sitting on the steps.

"Something was written on the backs of the photos?" Serena asked mystified. Hmm, she never would have guessed. This was news to her though, she never knew that Blair and Chuck were that close. This kind of changed things in her mind. Now she was 100% sure that they belonged together.

Blair shook her head and plastered on a fake smile as the other girls rushed up. This was going to be a long lunch, she thought, glancing at her flower collection.

It seemed like hours later when Blair finally walked into her Independent Study. Still no Chuck, but there was a rose sitting on her favorite desk in the library. She picked it up and looked once more at the note.

_I felt the same way about you then that I do now, but you belonged to someone else_

She had of course suspected after yesterday that Chuck had always had feelings for her but this was the first outright confirmation of the fact. She tried to think back, to see if maybe she had felt the same. Back then feelings hadn't been a choice for her. Her mom told her that Nate was her Prince Charming so she accepted that as fact and tried to perpetuate her mom's wishes. If she thought about it though, Chuck was the only person that she had felt truly safe with. He had been there for her when no one else was and he knew her inside and out from the time they were children. For the first time Blair realized that she had felt something for him then as well. She was supposed to be with Nate but Chuck had been her first kiss and later on her first period. There was something to be said for that. Plus his pain had been her pain, always. When the bell rang this time, she was startled.

Nate walked up to her and simply handed her the rose. "I've gotta go this time B, I have Pieser for Chemistry next and he said if I'm late one more time he's going to flunk me." He said apologetically.

Blair half laughed. "Go, go, I'll see you before eighth." As Nate ran off she kept walking. She would look at the note when she had retrieved the one from her locker and from her next class as well.

She took a seat in her AP Euro class and started reading the notes. The first was a continuation of the last,

_And just being your best friend was enough_

The note from the locker read,

_I know you better than I know myself_

And the one from sixth period,

_Everything that's good in me, comes from you_

She added the roses to the now large set but couldn't help to worry about the last note. Chuck was so wrong to think that. Yes she brought out the best in him, but it was there all on it's own. Just as she was about to lose herself in thought Mrs. Anderson announced that they would be having a pop quiz today. Blair groaned with the rest of the class but was secretly thankful because it would give her a break from thinking. When she finally finished and exited the class it was once more Serena waiting for her, holding of course a rose.

Blair smiled and took the flower, automatically reading the note aloud. "_In these past few years I've gotten to really be with you." _She read knowing that the next note would complete that statement.

"All of these are so adorable B." Serena said as she turned the corner to Blair's locker. She was in front of Blair and saw Chuck sliding the rose through the lock.

Chuck noticed Serena and raised one finger to his lips, letting her know to keep this between them before he ran off.

Serena distracted Blair by pulling her into a hug.

"Whoa S, what's gotten into you?" Blair asked, surprised by the sudden affection.

Serena pulled back smiling after she was sure Chuck had gotten away. "I'm just so excited for you B!"

Blair narrowed her eyes slightly but shook off the feeling that something was a little off. Serena was just like that sometimes. By the time she read the next note, she had forgotten all about it. "_I don't want to lose that" _She read aloud.

"B!" Serena squealed. "He doesn't want to lose you guys's relationship!"

Blair just shook her head smiling, Serena could be really ditsy sometimes but she loved her. Blair was once more glad that she had a test next period because it gave her a reason to get away from the overly peppy Serena and a reason not to think about what the next note meant.

_But I'll be with you in any way that you want_

Luckily the physics test was a piece of cake, it just took a long time. The bell rang just as she finished checking over her test. She walked into the hall to find Nate standing there holding a rose, with a perplexed look on his face.

"What is it?" Blair asked, accepting the rose and walking towards her locker. She could tell that Nate was thinking hard about something because his expression was almost pained as they walked.

Nate laughed a little. Blair knew him a little too well. They had reached her locker by now and she had retrieved her next flower. "Go ahead and read your notes, then I'll tell you." Nate said gesturing towards the roses in her hand.

Blair nodded and read the notes. First the one Nate had given her,

_I just want to be part of your future Blair_

Then the one from the locker,

_So please, just let me_

Blair pushed the notes out of her mind for now, she wanted to hear what was puzzling Nate. "Okay, what's on your mind Nate?"

Nate gave her a small smile before he started talking. "So I've been thinking a lot about what you asked earlier about what I think that you should do and I think I have an answer of sorts." Nate said walking with his hands in his front pockets.

Blair's eyebrows shot up, this isn't what she was expecting. "Go on." She said intrigued by what Nate had said.

Nate looked right into Blair's eyes as they approached her last class of the day. "Just listen to what I'm about to say and think about it, okay? You don't have to tell me anything, just think about it."

Blair nodded, even more intrigued than before. The pained look was still on his face and Blair knew that he had thought about this all day.

"My question for you to think about is: Do you, Blair Waldorf love Chuck Bass? Because if you do, I don't think you have a choice of whether or not you forgive him." Nate said pausing and continuing slowly making sure that his words were exactly what he was trying to say. "When you love, you love with your whole heart and I know that you will never forgive yourself if you don't forgive him and give him one last chance."

Blair looked at Nate in awe. That was one of the most thought out things that she had ever heard him say.

"That's all I have to say." Nate said before kissing her on the cheek and walking away.

Blair turned and walked into her classroom. She had a lot to think about so it was a good thing they weren't doing anything in AP American Government today. First she looked at the new note,

_When I was preparing this, this song reminded me of you_

She supposed she would find out the song later, so she went back to the past couple of notes which tied in with what Nate had asked her. Did she want Chuck in her future? According to Nate, if she really loved Chuck then the answer was yes. Did she still love Chuck? She thought about that for only a moment because the answer was clear in both her head and heart, whether she liked it or not, she was in fact still in love with Chuck Bass. But did that really mean what Nate said it did, would she never forgive herself for not forgiving him? She knew that the answer was somewhere deep in her heart and she knew that when the time came, her heart would tell her what to do. She didn't realize how much time had passed until she once more heard the sound of the bell. At first she wasn't sure what her classmates were doing but then they all started walking up to her, one at a time with roses. The first one read:

_It's Your Still You by Josh Groban_

Suddenly Serena appeared in the room and spoke, her eyes twinkling. "Hand me your books B, you aren't going to have hands for them."

"What?" Blair asked as she handed Serena her books and read the next note. It was the lyrics to a song.

_Through the darkness  
I can see your light _

Another student walked up to her and handed her yet another rose.

_And you will always shine  
And I can feel you're heart in mine _

Next it was Penelope, who actually smiled at Blair as she walked up. "He's amazing B. Just wait until you see."

"See what?" Blair asked anxiously. But she couldn't keep the smile off her face as she read the next lyrics.

_Your face I've memorized  
I idolize just you _

Penelope just walked off and Hazel replaced her. "P's right B. You are totally going to pass out when you find out what he has done."

Blair just shook her head and read the note.

_I look up to  
Everything you are _

These lyrics were beautiful and she knew Chuck meant them or he wouldn't have been presenting them to her. That's why her breath caught as she read the rose that Iz handed her.

_In my eyes you do no wrong  
I've loved you for so long _

He had actually written it down, she was amazed. Nelly Yuki walked up next, "I didn't really want to help with this but even I won't say no to Chuck Bass."

Blair just glared at her as she took the rose, Nelly was holding out.

_And after all is said and done  
You're still you  
After all  
You're still you_

Blair couldn't help but be reminded of what she said when she told Chuck that she loved him. "You're still you, and I'm still me. We're Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck."

A girl named Jack handed her the next rose.

_You walked past me  
I can feel your pain _

Blair was surprised as her Am Gov teacher walked up to her next and handed her a rose. "That boy has done a lot for you child. Perhaps, a second chance is in order."

Blair's eyes went wide. She forgot how in tune with the student gossip most teachers at their school were; but Mr. Andrews was an old man that she thought had probably fought in World War II, it wasn't like him to meddle. So she paid heed to what he said. "I'm thinking about it Mr. Andrews."

The man nodded and she read the next note.

_Time changes everything  
One truth always stays the same _

Suddenly Nate was by her side, handing her another rose. "After you read it follow me and I would suggest bracing yourself for what you are about to see."

Blair knew that if Nate thought that this was big that it had to be. So she read the note on Nate's rose and prepared herself.

_You're still you  
After all  
You're still you _

"So have you thought about what I said?" Nate asked as they walked through the doorway and Blair was handed yet another rose.

She nodded. "I have." She spoke accepting the rose and looked at the hallway lined with people, several of them holding roses. "Oh. My. God." Blair said quietly as she read the next note.

_I look up to  
__Everything you are  
In my eyes you do no wrong _

"I know." Nate said quietly. "This isn't the last of it either."

"There is more?" Blair asked completely flabbergasted, as she was handed yet another rose. Her arms heavy with them by now.

_And I believe in you  
Although you never asked me to _

That rose's note meant a lot to her because it was true. She had never once asked Chuck to believe in her but he always had; even when they were just children.

Nate interrupted her thoughts. "So did what I said help at all?"

Blair smiled at him. "Yes it did. So thank you very much."

Nate smiled brightly at the girl that he once believed to be the love of his life. A girl that he happened to think was actually the love of his best friend's life instead. He noticed as she was handed another rose.

_I will remember you  
And what life put you through _

Blair smiled at Nate as well. She began to think that she was hearing singing and with everything else, it really wouldn't surprise her in the slightest. "Is that singing?" She asked Nate finally.

Nate laughed. "Yeah, that's definitely singing." They were nearing the large main entrance to the school now and Blair had just received another flower.

_And in this cruel and lonely world  
I've found one love _

She read. Wow, he had written it again. That's when she noticed that the people she was passing in the hallways were filing in behind her. Seemingly following her outside. As she stepped through the main entrance she realized that Hazel was right; she was lucky she didn't pass out right then and there. The students of Constance and St. Jude's lined the staircase, all the way to where Chuck was leaning against his limo holding the final rose. The Constance a capella group was arranged near by the limo and was singing the song that Chuck had just sent her on the roses. But that wasn't the last of it. Roses lay at the feet of all of the students, and not just a few roses, bundles of them. As she descended the staircase in complete amazement, students continued handing her roses, now without notes.

It felt like it took forever to reach Chuck and she supposed metaphorically speaking that it truly did.

Chuck reached out and handed her the last rose and allowed her to read it before he began to speak.

_You're still you  
After all  
You're still you_

Blair looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. As far as grand gestures went, this one definitely topped them all.

Chuck motioned to the girls singing and they settled into a low hum. Chuck remained standing against the limo as he began to talk. "You're still you and I'm still me. We are still Chuck and Blair; Blair and Chuck. And I'm asking you; no I am begging you to give me one more chance because I believe, with all my heart, that your life is better with me than with out me." He took a breath before shouting as loudly as he could, to ensure that every single person gathered to watch heard him. "And Blair Waldorf I love you."

Tears were pouring down Blair's face as she stepped closer to the limo, closer to Chuck. "Is that what you were going to tell me last night?" She asked, almost wishing that she had gone to meet him if that was the case because the way her heart was reacting right now, was telling her everything that she had ever needed to know about hers and Chuck's relationship.

"No." Chuck said seriously, "That was always going to be saved for today. Last night I was calling to tell you that I got the company back. I turned the board around on Jack and I am now CEO of Bass Enterprises. As my toughest critic, I thought that you would like to know."

Blair had begun to smile until she heard Jack's name then she suddenly looked guilty. "I'm sorry about Jack."

Chuck wanted to reach out and wipe her tears but he knew that she had to come to him first and she was still a few steps away. "Don't be. He was there for you when I was off acting like a five year old. I had abandoned you and you didn't owe me anything."

She had been correct before, when the time came her heart knew exactly what it wanted and it told her exactly what she needed to say to make things right. "Yes I did Chuck." Blair said taking a step closer and saying the words that her heart was providing. "I think I've been almost as mad at myself as I have been at you." Tears were still running slowly down her checks. "Because I told you how I felt and that means something regardless of the fact that you ran away. I was spending my time trying to make up for what I had done with Jack because those kind of words have strings attached."

"Well in that case, attach all the strings you want as long as they are tying me to you." Chuck said with a smirk. "I love you, I love you, I love you." Blair smiled through her tears and stepped until she was within Chuck's reach. As she did, Chuck smiled and wiped her tears with his thumbs. "I love you." He said softer now. "I love you." He whispered at her ear. "I love you." He said pulling her into a hug.

"And I love you." Blair said as he held her. She let the now gigantic bouquet of roses fall to the ground as Chuck took her face in his hands and kissed her for the first time since the night in her bedroom when he had told her to chase him. The flowers hit the ground and the cameras snapped but Chuck and Blair couldn't have cared less. They broke away smiling and Chuck opened the door to the limo smirking. "Care to take a ride Ms. Waldorf?"

Blair looked at him and raised her eyebrows before answering. "Well you know how much I love limos."

As Blair stepped in Chuck responded in a low husky voice. "I think you might need to remind me."

Blair smirked and grabbed him by the shirt collar; pulling him into the limo. "Oh, think that can be arranged."

**Well Upper East Siders, look's like Chuck and Blair got their happy ending after all, for now at least. But you and I both know, that on the UES there's drama around every corner and with me here I can assure you that no matter what goes down, I'll be the first to know and you'll be the second. **

**you know you love me,**

**xoxo**

**gossip girl**

**

* * *

****A/N: Well that's it everyone! Thanks for sticking around until the last chapter :) I hope you enjoyed the final chapter of What He Can't Have. Any similarities of the ending to the actual Season 2 finale ending are purely coincidence, I've actually had the last scene written for months, it just took me a while to get here lol. In case anyone wants to see them I've included what the notes said if you read them all together. **

**Thank you guys for being such wonderful readers this whole time. Your support has meant so much to me throughout the story and I do hope that you enjoyed the concluding chapter. You guys are awesome.**

**xoxo  
Kate**

_One rose is hardly enough to explain how sorry I am, to make up for what I've done. But I have done everything else that I know to do. You've probably noticed, all of the roses have their thorns; it's because I can't promise you a perfect relationship; I can't promise that there won't be any thorns along the way. All I can promise is that I'll be there through it all. No thorn will ever send me running again, no matter how large it might be. I know how much I've hurt you. If I could change that, you know that I would. I've learned from my mistakes, I think I've proved that as best I could. I know that we can't magically go back to the way things were. All I can suggest, is that we go forward. In our past we were best friends I felt the same way about you then that I do now, but you belonged to someone else and just being your best friend was enough. I know you better than I know myself, everything that's good in me, comes from you. In these past few years I've gotten to really be with you. I don't want to lose that; but I'll be with you in any way that you want. I just want to be part of your future Blair; so please, just let me. When I was preparing this, this song reminded me of you; it's Your Still You by Josh Groban.  
_

**WANT TO READ MY CHAPTERS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE? IF SO READ THIS:  
So this new fanfic I'm starting I really want a beta for because I feel like my work needs one during the times when I get busy and don't put as much effort into it as I should. That being said, I thought I would be a little untraditional and ask if any of my readers are interested in filling the role for that fanfic (or one of my others, I haven't beta requested for any of them because I didn't want somebody to have to start halfway through). The only thing that I require is that you are fairly punctual as in like if I post it one day, I kind of want it back the next, unless there's like an extenuating circumstance or something. I'm only asking for the new fanfic but if you are interested in doing one of my others instead or aswell, I'd be ecstatic. **


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